My wife’s youngest daughter came to visit last night for the week. The dogs got to meet her at the airport after a long flight from her home in Washington D.C. She once lived with us in Decatur, Illinois, finishing up some undergraduate courses to enroll in Medical school. It was there that she met Tinker, our rescue schnauzer, and a connection was instantly sparked. Tinker had been abandoned as a pup and survived on her own until we found her at the Macon County Animal Shelter. At that time, she was in a cage still caked with mud, and my wife thought she was brown in color. However, once she had a bath, we were both surprised that she was a lighter shade of gray, but it was the eyes that caused my wife to fall in love. That was nearly twelve years ago.

We named her Tinker because we already had a Chow-pherd named Belle, and together they were Disneyesque. Belle was the mature, good dog, while Tinker ruined most of the carpeting in our home and was untrustworthy off the leash. We lived on a lake and she would frequently escape, frantically chase the ducks, and return covered in the same coat of mud that we first saw her wear. As a schnauzer mixed with what we believe is poodle (schnoodle), she was not fond of water, high strung, and barked at everything, yet was very intelligent. She had a big vocabulary and even learned to spell, after we refrained from using words that she recognized and spelled them out instead. Tinker was always full of energy and kept Belle young at heart. It was about ten years ago that Belle passed away, leaving my wife and her two daughters without their best friend.

While the older daughter was getting her Masters, the younger one was befriending Tinker in Decatur. We also had two cats at that time, so I ranked at least sixth on my wife’s list of favorites. With the loss of Belle, I had temporarily moved up on her “living list,” and was still trying to gain favoritism by pretending to love animals. Belle had grown to tolerate me, but was still reluctant to go on walks without the company of her owner. My wife and I had also jointly purchased a Burmese cat named Frankie, so I was slowly involved in building a personal family of pets, and would eventually over time grow to love them all. In fact, as a recent retiree, I’ve taken on most of the pet responsibilities, and will even cook some rice later today to help feed our four-legged family. I do much of the walking, feeding, and litter-box duties, but still leave the nurturing to my wife.

While we lived in Decatur, my wife’s youngest took on most of the pet responsibilities. I rarely saw Tinker, who had gladly moved into “Her Girl’s” room, along with Frankie the cat. When Tinker’s girl was at work, I would occasionally have to take her out to do her business, if she didn’t just do it on the carpet. I remember what I called “Tinkerrhea” that left a permanent brown reminder on our white dining room carpet, and a similar incident in the car that left me covered in doggie doo-doo. I was driving and she suddenly leaped off my wife’s lap to sit on mine, so there was little I could do to protect myself. Fortunately, we were traveling, so I had a change of clothes handy. I’m sure you’re all familiar with Montezuma’s revenge – this was Tinker’s! I also fondly recall a window I had to replace at our lake home, as Tinker and her girl were playing fetch. I still don’t exactly know how the window got broken, but the two of them spent many hours playing ball in the hallway. They were inseparable for that special year. It was also good for my wife, who never liked living there, to have the two of them in the house together. I was there, too, I need to mention.

Tinker is getting old and has grown to be the mature leader to her younger sister Tally, that Belle once was to her. Tally is now the high strung schnauzer of the family that likes to chew the limbs off stuffed animals. At least, she’s learned to confine her biting to these disposable creatures rather than the shoes, clothing, and furniture that she used to destroy with her teeth. Tinker still has an incessant, annoying bark that she uses to greet us, or as a mournful reminder that we are leaving her behind. I refer to Tinker and Tally as T-N-T because they can get into explosive arguments over toys and bones. “Bone Wars” happen often, as each becomes extremely possessive about their treats, toys, ball, rawhide chews, and pork chomps. Tally also likes to growl at passers-by, while Tinker is currently barking because “Her Girl” who came to visit is suddenly missing again. Apparently, she missed the fact that my wife’s daughter left to go for a run and couldn’t be found anywhere in the house. Tinker spent last night cuddling with her in bed, but often has to be assisted in making the jump up and down. As she sadly discovered, the bed was now empty, but she had somehow gotten up to double-check and couldn’t get back down, frantically barking for help. Tinker will be so sad when her best buddy goes back home later this week, even though the older sister will replace her in that bed, while my wife and I head back to Indiana for Christmas.

We all saw Star Wars this past week, but ‘Bone Wars” is by far my favorite. Each pet fights for our attention and fights with each other, as siblings often do. We try to share our affection and food equally, but violent wars break out, even when we’re gone. The other night we came home to an expensive broken vase in pieces on the floor, assuming that Tally had chased Frankie, as often happens, and in an effort to avoid confrontation the vase got in the way. Tally just wants to play, but Frankie sees it as a threat, just as older sister’s kitties reacted to her aggressive presence. Tally is a playful seven year old that has taken on the energy that Tinker once had. She leads the way on our weekend walks, tugging on her leash to go faster, while Tinker often lags behind. The “Tally Monster” is always the first one in the door after an outing, hoping to take possession of both chewy bones. Tinker will “bark-bark-bark” in retaliation until we intercede to return her stolen property. If Tinker happens to get hold of Tally’s bone, she will quickly gobble it down so there’s no chance for recovery. Tinker will also shamelessly eat out of her sister’s bowl, who often waits to see if we’re cooking something better. Hesitation loses wars, and when it comes to food Tinker always gets her way.

I’m sure it’s very complicated for Tinker and Tally, and even Frankie, as people come and go from their lives. The older daughter moved in with us in Austin, Texas, where we adopted Tally. She was working on her doctorate and needed to save some money. Tally naturally has bonded more with her, while Tinker had already found her favorite sister. The older sister moved with us to Portland, but now lives in a separate apartment with her two kitties. Tally always seemed to frighten the kitties, while they lived with us, so her bond with the older sister is somewhat restrained by the meanness to her furry babies. However, she comes over often to visit and will stay here whenever possible as we travel. All the pets are excited to see her, but Tinker gets especially excited when the younger sister, her best pal, comes to town. That day is here!

Montezuma (Tinkerrhea)

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We were in the car,

On the road.

Far away,

From our abode.

.

Our little dog,

On my wife’s lap.

Calmly taking,

A little nap.

.

All of a sudden,

“Tinker” had to go.

Signs of panic,

Began to show.

.

She jumped over,

On top of me.

I’m driving the car,

My hands weren’t free.

.

Before there was time,

To safely stop.

I quickly realized,

She was ready to pop.

.

It was Tinkerreah,

That came gushing out.

The smell soon left,

Little doubt.

.

Accidental?

Or revenge?

Like Montezuma,

I had to cringe.

.

She had the runs,

And ran to me.

Just how lucky,

Can a dog owner be?

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