When I look back on my life, there were people that I met and circumstances that I somehow avoided – choices that have shaped my life. The other night I was watching a production of NAM, an interactive musical about the Vietnam War that a neighbor produced. It included the Creedence Clearwater song, “Fortunate Son” that reminded me how much life would be different today if I had gone into the service instead of college. Many of my friends had no choice, while I had a deferment and high draft number. Some of them died, were injured, or suffered life-altering trauma. I often feel a sense of guilt when I hear war stories or as I sit while others stand to be recognized for their bravery. Those who did serve developed an enviable comradery, a brotherhood of commonality. Only they know the real truth about what happened over there. 

If I had served, I would probably have had a different career, a different wife/family, different friends, and a different outlook on life. However, I realize that I could have died without having any of these things. It’s a twist of fate that I can’t help but think about. There were other forks in the road of life for me like adoption, changing schools & jobs, and meeting certain people along the way. I’m lucky to have friends that date back to childhood, grade school, high school, college, and work. Was meeting these people coincidence or fate?

In moving to Florida, I left all my friends behind, but it was fate that led us to settling in a community near my son and his family. I’ve also made many new acquaintances here in the neighborhood, but there are two examples that really stand out as being fateful. The first came at a neighborhood get together just as we moved here. The name “Foust” stood out on a nametag, and I asked if he had relatives in Indiana. “I’m from Indiana,” he replied, and we slowly put together our Hoosier connection. My birth name of Banister has ties to the Foust family, and we found to be indeed DNA relatives. I now refer to him as “cousin.”

The second recent fateful encounter came at the NAM presentation, but started months ago when I was wearing an orange, Oregon State College World Series t-shirt. A woman spotted it and said her daughter went to Oregon State. We then coincidentally ran into her and her husband at a secluded beachfront state park. All I knew about him was a Kansas City Chiefs connection but the encounter at the beach led to further conversation. While waiting for NAM to start I found out he was a Sigma Chi at Pittsburg College and had a fraternity brother coming into town for the weekend. A few days later, I decided to take them a bottle of Sigma Chi wine that I bought years ago from a Napa Valley/Russian River supplier. To make a long story short, in going into his man cave, I quickly discovered that we had a common interest in baseball and card collecting, a bond that I had with some friends in Portland that I really miss. We made plans to go together to an upcoming baseball card show that we both attended as strangers to each other last year. It will be fun to watch this new friendship grow – whether fate of coincidence?