Years ago, I wrote a poem called “Bathroom Beast,” poking fun at my messy tendencies around the house. My tidy wife usually found a few things out of place whenever I left a room. (See Post #453). It was intended to be a children’s book, but I could not find an illustrator to do justice around the Pigwhalea character. Well, things haven’t changed, and I’ve since written a sequel called “Mikey’s Been There,” once again inspired by my wife, that I will introduce below, once I refresh your memory on the former silly classic:

Bathroom Beast 

Pigs are messy,
Smelly and crude.
Happy in slop,
Rooting for food.

Whales are slimy,
Giant and wet.
Splish, Splash,
Have you got a net?

Pigs live in sties,
Whales in the sea.
Where did they meet?
How could this be?

Somehow it happened,
That two became one.
This mythical creature,
Weighs more than a ton.

Is it a whale?
With a pig’s snout.
It lives in our bathroom,
And I want it out.

It’s there every morning,
Don’t know where it hides?
Perhaps in the drain,
It boldly resides.

Snout or Spout?
Pink or Blue?
I’ve never seen it.
Have you?

Hogfish?
Moby Swine?
Pig-Whale-aaa,
Works just fine.

Water on the floor,
A ring around the sink.
Towels everywhere,
Don’t know what to think.

Clogged drain,
Counter all wet.
Help me get rid,
Of this unwelcome pet.

Puddles all around,
Not a dry spot in sight.
Little rubber ducky,
Are you all right?

Cap off the toothpaste,
Bottles askew.
Pigwhalea was here,
There’s clue after clue.

I’m very neat,
Each thing has its place.
I look in the mirror,
And see your face.

Brush out of place,
Cosmetics askew.
You’ve done all this,
Pigwhalea is Y-O-U.

Copyright 2010 johnstonwrites.com

 

Mikey’s Been There 

 

You can always tell, 

That Mikey’s been there.

Enter any room, 

Only if you dare. 

 

A cookie crumb trail, 

Mess and clutter. 

And those around Mikey, 

Can only shudder. 

 

There’s a Warning sign, 

On the bedroom door.

Clothes scattered, 

All over the floor. 

 

Don’t trip over, 

The broken toys. 

It’s sadly true. 

Boys will be boys.

 

Cabinet not shut. 

Toothpaste in the sink, 

Something out of place. 

What do you think? 

 

In the Living Room, 

What’s that in the chair? 

If Mikey’s been there, 

It might be underwear. 

 

The refrigerator’s open, 

And a puddle down below. 

Then Mikey’s been there, 

You just know. 

 

Dirt on the carpet, 

Fingerprints everywhere. 

It’s very clear, 

Mikey doesn’t care. 

 

Mikey doesn’t listen, 

Mikey won’t learn. 

He won’t get an allowance, 

Respect he has to earn. 

 

Do you have a Mikey,

At your house, too?

Look in the mirror, 

It just might be you.

 

Copyright 2023 johnstonwrites.com