It’s now been eleven months since heart surgery and other than the scars there is little evidence. My left leg continues to be the biggest issue in this recovery, a factor that can only be assumed to be a by-product of the surgical procedures. Nonetheless, it was never once a concern prior to the operation while undoubtedly the biggest obstacle in my recovery. The sciatica pain keeps me awake at night and limits my ability to walk or exercise despite three injection attempts to heal the inherent damages.

I hobble to the fitness center nearly every day, hoping to one day regain the stamina that enabled me to run every day the past fifteen years. Where is the old me? I do about 45-minutes on the stationary bike, cautiously lift some lighter weights, and occasionally walk a mile or so on the treadmill. Discomfort in the form of a Charlie Horse in my left thigh and balance are my enemies. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to run again like the old me.

Pain medication helps me sleep but makes me groggy in the morning. I’ll discuss the options with my doctor during my upcoming appointment. The steroids seem to have aggravated rather than soothed my nerves as expected. Surgery is probably in my future as arthritis continues to eat at my spine. While I paid strict attention to my knees and hips all these years, it was apparently my spine that took the brunt of all those miles. Time to pay the piper!

My heart seems to be functioning well, and my breastbone has finally healed. It no longer hurts to cough. However, all my focus has been on the leg pain, so it’s easy to ignore all the other aches. I might even soon be able to get back into a pushup routine that would make my body feel normal again. It was apparently too soon when I tried to build up the reps a few months ago. I keep going back to a neighbor’s advice at the beginning of my recovery. He said, “the surgeon’s knife is a year long,” and I’m beginning to believe in that truth. The new year will provide a path to finding the old me.