I can safely say that after 67 years of life that “I know quite a bit about nothing important.” It sounds like a country song to me, so I’ll work on some rhyming lyrics. After searching for similar phrases via Wikipedia, I found  “I know that I know nothing”, “The only thing I know is that I know nothing”, “I know one thing; that I know nothing” or “I know that all I know is that I do not know anything,” called the Socratic paradox, is a well-known saying that is derived from Plato’s account of the Greek philosopher Socrates. That ain’t country.

The phrase is not one that Socrates himself is ever recorded as saying, so I can begin to take credit for my own variation of the philosophical words. At this stage in life, I have many more questions than answers. I’ve also forgotten more than I remember. This I know I know! I do, however, remember knowing nothing, rather than being like some people who think they know everything. The humbler approach is more befitting of my personality. Let’s examine this lack of knowledge that I possess and will continue to accumulate.

We can safely start with ten things that I definitely don’t know:

  • I don’t know there’s a heaven
  • I don’t know there’s a God
  • I don’t know who will win the World Series
  • I don’t know there will be a tomorrow
  • I don’t know there’s an end to the Universe
  • I don’t know that our retirement funds are enough
  • I don’t know what our dogs are thinking
  • I don’t know who my birth father is
  • I don’t know if I can actually get two cars in my garage

Others only think they know some of these answers. Since this is a pros and cons discussion, here’s ten things on the “do know” side of the ledger:

  • I know that “knowledge perception” is a subject too deep for this blog
  • I know that I’m no Socrates
  • I know that I love myself and feel satisfied with my accomplishments
  • I know I love my wife & family and that they love me
  • I know that Tinker is hungry right now
  • I know Ohio State will come back to beat Indiana for their 24th straight
  • I know that it will soon start raining in Portland
  • I know that I’m an adopted child without answers
  • I know that I have a lot to learn
  • I know that I know nothing

All of this knowledge is mostly unimportant to anyone but me. I’m sure that my wife and family are glad that I’ve confirmed their importance in my life, but I’m pretty sure they already had that knowledge. With the exception of my birthmother, I do know that no one has the knowledge to know what I don’t. I also know that “nothing” is a relative thing, and every thing else I know is trivial with respect to life and death.

Socrates was once told by the Oracle of Delphi that he was one of the wisest men in all of Athens, and his response was to not boast or celebrate but rather try to prove the Oracle wrong. If you know? Please feel free to prove me wrong. In the meantime, I’ll continue to compare my questionable knowledge to the guy who knew nothing:

Nothing

When Socrates spoke,
They’d lend their ears.
Yet he knew nothing,
It plainly appears

He must have known,
More than he thought.
His words of wisdom,
Were widely sought.

He wisely taught,
That he knew nothing.
But people thought,
He was something.

In modern times,
I think the same.
And know as little,
My knowledge lame.

I know nothing,
And nothing more.
It closely matches,
My IQ score.

Nothing here,
And nothing there.
If it’s something I know,
Does anyone care?

Of nothing important,
I know quite a bit.
Of life and death,
I don’t know sh*t!

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