As I’ve traveled the world, I’ve seen many of the great masterpieces and some of the historic locations where they were painted, sculptured, or crafted. I’ve experienced the Louvre, Metropolitan, d’Orsay, Air & Space, and Modern Art Museums, plus the Art Institute, National Gallery, and the Vatican Collections, among others. On display were the work of “The Masters” like Monet, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Rembrandt, Michelangelo, Picasso, Raphael, Renoir, Vermeer, and Cezanne. The knowledge I gained made me uniquely qualified to hire a painter for the interior walls and ceilings of our home. I did this through Angie’s List, as Futures Painting met my strict requirements and started the job promptly. 

My wife has high standards when it comes to house painting, so you can understand my reluctance to make this important hiring decision. However, she still works all day while I live a retired life of leisure. Ten years ago we were living in Illinois and had a full-time painter with complete access to our house.  When Dave first started on our kitchen, he indicated “that he would be with us for awhile.” It seemed as if he was always there touching-up something with absolute perfection, giving little consideration of time invested in each project. He’d be working downstairs when we got up each morning and would still be there when we got home from work. I might even look up from shaving to see him behind me in the mirror! If you’re at all familiar with the TV comedy of the late 80’s, Murphy Brown, Eldin her painter never seemed to get done with his work in part because of his high artistic standards. Dave was our Eldin, and my wife appreciated his detailed approach.

I have a lazy routine that I follow every day, and today was the first day of work for Futures Painting. It was very disruptive of my personal time, much like a job used to be. I had to move things around, take down some artwork, and confine myself to my office. At the same time, there was a separate construction crew on our back deck. They showed up unexpectedly, as they have the past few weeks, to replace some damaged planks and re-treat the wood surface. It’s part of our maintenance agreement with the condo association, where they take care of everything on the outside, while we’re responsible for anything inside.  In both cases, I’m in charge of supervision and dealing with any demands while they’re here. For someone who hasn’t worked in nearly two years, this is a major hassle. Next week, I will also contend with The Furniture Doctor, refinishing our antique hutch. This will, of course, add even more pressure to my intense supervisory responsibilities. If you can imagine, I will probably also be charged with unloading the dishwasher, doing some laundry, vacuuming, mail sorting, and cooking one meal for my wife, all while trying to work in another season of Game of Thrones. Retirement can be Hell!

I don’t want another Dave. I want these painters out of my house as soon as possible. My wife will demand perfection, so I’ll be supervising that delicate balance between speed and quality. The ceilings will not require as much craftsmanship as the Sistine Chapel, but I still anticipate that it will take them a couple weeks to complete the job. They did manage to get a lot done today, despite my demands. Furthermore, the deck crew will need to come back on a drier day to finish staining the replacement boards. It was a tough morning and I was so stressed-out that I needed to leave for a two-hour lunch. As you might expect, even that wasn’t easy because I had to take the dogs with me. Have I mentioned how much the dogs disrupt my retirement routine?