We spent our first afternoon in Bangkok with a tour guide, exploring the grounds of the Grand Palace and the Temple that houses the Emerald Buddha Dude. Never have I seen such opulence, utilizing gold, porcelain, and glitzy reflective surfaces laid out in intricate patterns. I also felt like a giant at six-feet tall, give or take a half-inch of old age settlement, pushed around by tiny aggressive female tourists speaking in unfamiliar tongues. I towered over this tiny version of Buddha that we were all selfishly intent on visiting. We’ll see much bigger versions of the dude on tomorrow’s tour, as the “Buddhathon” continues.

I had to take my tennis shoes off to visit 66 centimeters (26 inches) tall Green Buddha, carved from green jade and perched high upon a shiny castle with his faithful subjects gathered below. Only the Thai people are allowed to pray near this fairy tale like shrine that looks like a sandcastle drizzled in gold and jewels. Nearby, is what resembles a giant Dairy Queen ice cream cone dipped in solid gold caramel. Gods apparently demand loyalty and thrive on glitter, although Buddhists do not believe in a God, but worship Buddha to show their respect. With over 30,000 Buddhist Temples in Thailand, that’s a lot of R-E-S-P-E-C-T! They believe in karma and an afterlife through seeking Nirvana.

With so many religions to choose from, how do you pick the right one to guide you through life? A wise friend once said that “religion really doesn’t matter, just find one to get you through this life?” Sadly, I just know too many Christians that look down on those who do not follow their God.” To each their own” is my philosophy – just do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” My God would not be comfortable with the wealth that goes into these religious monuments. However, judging by the huge crowds at least they are good for tourism and the economy.

Our last stop on today’s tour is the Gem & Mineral Institute and Gallery, billed shamelessly as the world’s biggest jewelry store. They must pay the tour guides to make it one of their stops. I’m sure there will be some financial damage done as my wife will not be able to control herself. Like the Hindu God Durga she needs multiple arms to display her many rings and bracelets that she can’t seem to live without. I sat in the air conditioned lobby while she negotiated with the clerk. Before long, a manager dude came out to try to seal the deal. I wonder if Jade Buddha also gets a commission on the sale, since he was the one who initially got us on the tour bus?