Some people have told me to never announce that you’re retired. The next thing you know you’ll be waiting for someone’s package to be delivered, walking your neighbor’s dog, babysitting, or helping with a project. Fortunately, I retired in an area where I don’t know many people, don’t have family nearby, and don’t fraternize with the neighbors. This is what happens when you move every couple of years. I now control my days, choosing the tasks that I really want to do – very few. Every once in a while I make a mistake. 

In our efforts to downsize from home, to condo, to apartment, I often find myself repurchasing items that I’ve given away. For example, I didn’t need a nice file cabinet since we had plenty of room for clutter in the attic, garage, or guest room closets. I had a beautiful wood office cabinet at one time in my life that I didn’t need – now I do. I went to Amazon for a replacement, but didn’t read the fine print. SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.

When the box arrived I knew that I was in trouble. It was not the size of the file cabinet that I ordered, and when I opened it there were hundreds of pieces that needed to be put together. I kept some tools in the move, but gave away my massive tool box and power drill. I had to buy a smaller box for the remaining necessities like pliers, screwdrivers, and a hammer, once again buying an item that I had already owned – now just in a smaller size. The assembly instructions were in diagram form with 27 detailed illustrations to follow.  On the first page, the words EXPLODED DRAWING were emphasized in large print. I wanted some powerful explosives to get rid of it at that moment, even before unpacking the contents. To make matters worse, it was protected with cheap Styrofoam that had deteriorated into small fragments and statically stuck to every surface. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with Styrofoam and assembly line faux pas that were coming back to haunt me. (See Post #294).

To make a long story short, I spent about 3 hours last night putting it together, and it still isn’t done. There were hundreds of screws, where a recently donated power drill would have certainly come in handy. I carefully followed the step-by-step instructions rather than jump ahead, as was the tendency in my younger years. Regardless, I still made mistakes. Was it me or the EXPLODED DRAWING? At one point, I was ready to explode. Fortunately, I had just watched an I.U. basketball game that had already released most of my aggression. I couldn’t help but think that the Hoosiers played at ASSEMBLY Hall, and are definitely a work in progress just like my file cabinet. This morning I will disassemble some of last night’s work and fix my mistakes. After a good night’s sleep, I see the error of my ways. The biggest error of course was buying a file cabinet that required tools and assembly. I have never been a DIY kind of guy. (See Post #107) when it comes to SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.