People native to the Great Northwest are stereotyped in several unique ways. They seem always dressed for a hike, while their car is filled with various protest signs in case a riot breaks out! I was actually about to write “car trunks,” but everybody drives an SUV or pick-up truck. They also don’t carry umbrellas, as if to prove that it never rains. We’ve only been here about six years, but getting ready to leave. It’s the most beautiful place we’re ever lived, but there are too many months of gloom and moisture. Also, there is not a single time of the year when you ever want to go in the ocean for a swim.
With even my limited knowledge, I can explain these local typecasts. The reason everyone is dressed for a hike is because all the major outfitters have outlet stores in the area, so sturdy shoes, fleece, and flannel are the most affordable ways to dress. My retirement outfit is all made by Columbia, for example. I can also always find someone who has an employee discount for these discount outlets, making shopping there even more attractive. The clothing itself isn’t necessarily attractive but rather extremely practical. The waterproof, hooded parkas they manufacture eliminate the need for an umbrella.
Northwest residents are known for their liberal politics, so it’s fun for others to stir the pot. People here like to call themselves progressive, claiming to be inclusive, but complaining when it affects the culture of their neighborhood. They are rumored to drive around town looking for a protest. If they don’t have an appropriate sign, there are always a few blank ones in the back and a stock of Magic Markers. They also protest those who protest their protesting. Driving an SUV, on the other hand, makes perfect sense, considering the hills, occasional ice, and mountain recreation possibilities.
If you take a drive to the “beach” and put on a swimsuit, you are definitely not from around here. We learned early-on to say, “the coast” and take a windbreaker or sweatshirt with you when you go. You can sit in the sun if you surround yourself with Visqueen plastic. If you’ve never actually been to a beach, i’m sure you’re perfectly fine with it. Although it’s a beautiful open space with awesome rocks and waves, it’s just not our cup of tea. We want to wear as little as possible when we go to the ocean. It’s all about the sun and surf in our opinion. Florida here we come!
Last night a violent riot broke out on the downtown Portland streets. I ran through the area this morning and the only thing unusual I spotted was an abandoned bra. Apparently, fires and vandalism damaged property and looting followed. 13 people were arrested while a couple of officers suffered minor injuries. There were thousands of marchers that initially inspired the few intent on destruction. Typical. An 8 p.m. curfew has been imposed for tonight. Unfortunately, once a few gather, others stop and get out their signs and markers while asking, “what are we protesting today, and how do you spell Floyd?” What else is there to do on a Friday night in the Northwest in our boots and parkas? It’s A Riot!
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