I don’t feel bad or even look bad! However, the list keeps growing longer on my medical reports. I feel like I need to post them in front of my house like inspection paperwork, so I don’t have to keep explaining my woes to the neighbors. They could just walk down here and check out the dates of doctor appointments, procedure schedules, and health updates. I partially blame this on my wife, who is obviously seeking support for both of us, by letting the cat out of the bag. I would have preferred to keep all of this quiet, so I’ve begun to post it on this blog that no one reads. 

I’ve become the subject of conversation at neighborhood parties, the dog park, the resort centers, beach, pool, pickle ball courts – not sure about the tennis crowd. I’ve never really had to plan for surgery in my life – let alone a whole list of them. The question is: can I work these all in between our travel plans? I’ve had my share of aches and pains, Covid, kidney stones, stitches, shots, and colonoscopies. However, since the beginning of 2023, I have seemingly begun to slowly but surely fall apart. While my running pace continues to slow, my doctor visits and medical bills are quickening. 

I started the year with simple eyelid surgery, removing some of the excess skin around my eyes. Afterwards, it looked like I’d been in a barroom fight, but no big deal. Next, became the issue of potential surgery for an aneurism after years of monitoring its slowing increasing size on my aorta. X-rays, CT scans, a heart catheterization, a TEE, surgeon consultations, and lots of billing questions have been the story of this year. In between visits with my GP and three different surgeons, I also had to worry about how my prostrate was keeping me up at night and the constant trips to the restroom throughout the day. I’ve already been to two different specialists for this issue and have a procedure in St. Pete scheduled next Thursday. 

This week, I will drive with my wife to Tampa General Hospital for a meeting with a recommended and experienced cardiothoracic surgeon. I’ve already decided against doing this at a Regional Hospital. We will also soon confer with a renowned Stanford surgeon, where my wife’s daughter works as a PA. Adding to the list two weeks ago, I had a Prokera treatment done on my right eye, so it is healing for cataract surgery in about three months time. Finally, today, my Chiropractor suggested that as soon as I get these other problems resolved, I then go to see an orthopedic specialist about a sore tendon in my right arm. I just added that one to the list of What Ails You!

We buy a lot of tickets and when they are used, I drop them into a collector’s box with a glass front on my office wall. Sadly, it’s rare anymore to get an actual ticket, most are now electronic, so there’s nothing to put in the box. Understandably, every once in a while, we encounter a ticket problem – lost, misplaced, wrong date, rescheduled, etc. For example, two years ago we went to a Santana/EW&F concert in Tampa. It wasn’t until we were about to enter the parking when an attendant pointed out that we were a year early!

Last night, my wife bought tickets for the local Lemon Bay Playhouse, presenting “Let’s Murder Marsha” (not Marcia, for those of you that know my first wife). At least, my current wife thought it was last night until we went to sit in our seats that were occupied by another couple, as were the seats that she bought for our two guests. We checked the row just to be sure, but the “I” looked like a “J,” and to add to the confusion, it turned out there was no Row I. Rather than creating a big stink at this point, we simply sat in the uncomfortable empty chairs in the back, just behind Row J, just waiting for someone to kick us out. Our friends had gone off to seek the help of an usher, when my wife noticed that our tickets were for the next night. 

Admitting our mistake, while everyone around us was probably thinking we were idiots, the usher graciously said that no one had bought the seats in front of us, so we could sit there. To make matters worse, I had bought a glass of $2 wine that was actually in a plastic cup. When our friends returned, I stood up to let them pass and fumbled my drink, as I too often do these days because of my shaky hands. Red wine spilled all over my shorts and pink shirt that fortunately happened to closely match the wine stain. While I went to the restroom to clean myself up, the usher, obviously feeling sorry for us after all our disruptions, moved us up to Row D. The lady behind me then whispered to her husband that she couldn’t see over me, so I scrunched down as low as possible in the seat, already uncomfortable from the sticky wine. Fortunately, the play was good, but I was stiff, sore, and sticky by intermission. 

We had several of our neighbors involved in the performance, so we’re anxious to share the story with them. If someone would like to see the show tonight from Row J, we obviously still have four tickets available – just joking of course. Let’s murder the ticket buyer who created this snafu!

I can’t really explain how I ended up with a Florida Blue HMO plan, but it predictably turned into a problem. I say this because I’ve always elected a PPO where I could select my doctors rather than being restricted to the network. When I switched last year from United Healthcare (a PPO) to seemingly coincide with my wife’s coverage and choice of providers, all of my doctors were in the network, and this never failed until recently until it was pointed out that my card clearly stated Premier HMO. I added a supplemental dental plan to match my wife and we went to the same primary care provider, eye doctor, and dentist. However, back in Austin she had some issues with a detached retina, so she began to see a specialist while I continued with the surgeon that preformed my upper eyelid procedure (all covered except about $300 in co-pays). It was a few months ago when I decided to switch to this same ophthalmologist, thinking I had the same coverage. 

They took my card, not noticing the HMO distinction from my wife’s coverage, and proceeded with my exam that determined an immediate need for cataract surgery and a Prokera treatment. Fortunately, they only needed to polish the surface of my right eye, or the cost might have doubled. This $7,200 procedure was then denied by my insurance. I called this to their attention, with all of us thinking that I was covered, but as it turned out they do not accept the HMO arrangement with Florida Blue. They did agree that it was their fault but there were some out-of-pocket issues and did admit telling them I had the same coverage as my wife, so we ended up compromising at just under $1,200 – money I was not expecting to spend. If I had the PPO, it would have been simply a few co-pays. 

I immediately called Blue Cross & Blue Shield to switch my coverage during the open enrollment period. It was a painful hour or more on the phone because, of course, everyone jumps on this limited enrollment timeframe and the computers overload. Information had to be entered multiple times and I was already frustrated with the fact that I had bought this stupid HMO and wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be similar problems with my upcoming heart surgery that will certainly be a bit more than $7,200.

Sorting through this jungle of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and related health financial decisions is a problem for even an educated individual like me. This HMO issue must have been a factor of a quickly softening retirement mind. I can only imagine some of the problems that the less fortunate have to deal with when it comes to medical ills and bills. 

I heard from a generous neighbor yesterday who read my blog about bicycles and offered to let me use one of theirs, since they are often not in town. Today, I’m wondering if anyone has a Lamborghini I can borrow? Sometimes, it’s just a matter of what you ask for in life! I remember one Christmas when family members asked what I wanted in the way of gifts, I casually mentioned a melon baller, of all things. I had made a fruit salad but didn’t have the proper kitchen tools to make it fancy, so it was top of mind. When I went to open presents, I think I got seven of them. Should have asked for a Corvette, I guess! 

Honestly, there isn’t much that I “want for” anymore and it’s always been difficult for me to come up with gift ideas. The melon baller was a stretch since I don’t really cook and probably haven’t made a fruit salad since. However, I still like the thrill of unwrapping baseball cards. I’m still waiting on another neighbor that wants my help finding a buyer for a warehouse full of cases of unopened boxes. This would be the ultimate treasure hunt for me, but they have been distracted by more serious issues and haven’t been in their Florida home in some time. Imagine all that stale, flat, bubble gum just sitting there waiting to be chewed. 

There’s always something going on in the neighborhood. We enjoyed a night of Music Bingo with local favorite, Mr. Gameshow, at our Islandwalk clubhouse. My wife, of course, knew all the lyrics of all the songs but it didn’t help her win. I needed the tune “Mony, Mony” to be played but it never happened, so I filled lots of squares to no avail. Next up is comedian Dave Dugan from Indianapolis that was popular on the Bob & Tom Show, followed by the annual Hallo-wine party. Friends are coming over tomorrow to drink wine and watch the I.U. vs. Rutgers football game, the battle for the BIG Ten basement. We also have Date Night scheduled for this evening at L’Olive, tickets for “Let’s Murder Marsha” at the Lemon Bay Playhouse next weekend, and a Veteran’s Day musical performance called NAM, written and produced by a talented neighbor to kick-off November. Plenty of good neighbors, so retirement is busy!