Category: CREATURE FEATURES (Page 26 of 37)

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! (Plus dogs and cats)

Retirement is not without Hassles: Alarm #643

August 28, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

I crossed off the first item on my list of “67 things to do before I’m 68,” as all of our windows have been professionally cleaned – inside and out. I add that “professional” distinction to emphasize that this wasn’t something I did myself. I simply supervised, and got the battery replaced in my smoke alarm as a bonus. I may have mentioned that last week the alarms in our house started to give off an obnoxious chirp, just as we were getting ready to go to bed. The dogs were scared to death and refused to come back in the house after their final outing, even with the “ham time” incentive. The beeping would stop just before I could determine exactly which smoke alarm needed a new battery. Of course, it turned out to be the one at the very peak of our master bedroom that can only be reached with fire department equipment. I finally got it to shut-off by taping a long screw driver to a extended broom handle while standing on a step ladder. I was somehow able to flip the battery to the ground, as all hell broke loose. All six alarms in our house reacted to their dismantled companion and screamed at me in retaliation. Finally, it was quiet, after I threatened to turn the power off.

I suppose it could have been worse had it waited a few more hours for me to fall asleep. The next day I bought several new batteries and waited for the window-washer to show up this morning. Last year, he helped me take down and wash a couple of filthy, glass overhead light globes in my office. This year, he got out his extension ladder and changed my battery. I question the engineering that went into putting that smoke alarm in a completely inaccessible location, but I should be safe for another year. The dogs are still holding their paws over their sensitive ears. Tinker was literally in pain, while it was probably an advantage for me to be old and half-deaf.

I hope I don’t set it off while I’m trying to cook dinner tonight. I selected a familiar chicken-wing recipe, hoping to not create another mess in the kitchen. Last week, I used the grill just to be sure. My wife is often jealous that I get wings at Buffalo Wild Wings at every Friday’s “Leadership Lunch.” She liked this recipe when I prepared it last time for our Super Bowl party. I guess I’ll have to suffer with wings twice this week. Tomorrow, is the first step in preparing our garage for the new tank-less water heater that’s being installed, another item on my list. A second gas line is being added in the afternoon, so it will be another hard day of supervisory work for me. Hopefully, in a few weeks, my wife will get a super-heated tub of water for her morning bath, rather than a luke-warm start to her work day. Next I have to figure out what’s wrong with our security system that has apparently stopped working – just another hassle in retirement. At least tomorrow, she’ll have clean windows, a smoke alarm that doesn’t chirp, and hopefully not heart-burn from my spicy wings.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Fossils #639

August 26, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

As the sun sets over Lincoln City, I’m reflecting on today’s activities. I got my 12 cents worth out of this morning’s run and my wife found a fossil older than I am. I also spent some time writing a portion of this while sitting on a campfire log on the sandy beach. Whales were playing once again about 100 yards offshore, as the rolling waves collided with the shoreline. There is a wonderful healing effect that only comes with time at the beach, even though my comfortable retirement life isn’t exactly filled with stress. As I look at the photos my wife posted, it almost appears as if I actually enjoy the outdoors.

Neither of our dogs were as active as I expected when turned them loose on the beach. Tally played in a freshwater drainage pond, while Tinker tried unsuccessfully to coax her to the other side. The hills were too steep for our escape-artist to work her magic. Tinker was content just being at our side. I was monitoring the world of sports on my phone, as technology prevailed over inner reflection. The Cubs, White Sox, Colts, and Bears all won today, a very rare team favorites sweep for me.

Lunch was at the Wildflower Grill and dinner at the Bay House. My wife tried to make it special with a candle on a scoop of chocolate ice cream, another violation of my low-carb “diet.” I’ve far surpassed my weight loss expectations, so a bit of Birthday decadence is in order. As a birthday surprise, she found an autographed Portland Trailblazers basketball at a nearby antique store, while she was out shopping for fossils at Prehistoric Rocks. To find something older than me was apparently easy in that shop, as they carefully loaded our trunk with her heavy load. I guess if we hit snow on the way home, I’ll get plenty of traction.

I often look for change on the ground while I’m running, so the dime and two pennies that I found is not unusual. Some find religious significance in rescuing coins from abandonment, citing the “IN GOD WE TRUST” message that money delivers. Others believe that finding a coin on the ground is a “wink” from an angel. Honestly, I just like finding things, or maybe it’s a fear of being penniless? Nonetheless, I always put it in my pocket for good luck. By the way, none of these coins were older than me!

Retirement is not without Hassles: Looking for Lincoln #637

August 23, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

We’re getting ready for a weekend at the coast. This same weekend a year ago, I spent the night in a field between legs of the Hood to Coast relay. I’m certainly glad that I’m not part of the team this year, especially considering all the replacements they’ve had to add due to injuries. Somehow, I continue to run every day, completing 3,525 consecutive days this morning. I can’t tell you how lucky I’ve been to avoid foot and ankle injuries. Two friends have recently put themselves out of commission due to silly accidents, including a dropped barbell on a toe and a middle-of-the-night stumble over the cat. I’ve managed to run through some painful maladies, hangovers, colds & flu, coughs, smoke, rain, sleet, and snow to complete my daily mile. This morning my wife left me a note, warning that breathing the air was the equivalent of smoking nine cigarettes. I think she was hinting that I should reduce the cost-per-use of our treadmill. My eyes did burn a bit after the three-mile-plus route through our neighborhood, but the dedicated runners and walkers that I see every morning did not let the hazy conditions stop them.

Our cost-per-pet continued to go up after Tinker’s visit with the Vet today. PET.VET.DEBT. We got some more eye drops and another prescription of Prednisone. Both of our schnauzers will be excited for a chance to run on the Lincoln City beach, especially Tally who’s frustrated with Tinker’s aches and pains. Rather than her weekly stroll to Starbucks, she’s forced to spend another boring day at home. To me, boredom is bliss, but to her even our weekend walks have changed with Tinker’s aging legs. The stroller won’t work well on the sand, so we’re anxious to see if Tinker can handle our stolls on the beach. Tally, of course, will chase the sea gulls, climb the rocks, and try to elude our watchful eye.

When I ran the television station back in central Illinois, one of my pet campaigns was called “Looking for Lincoln.” There were many historical areas in our coverage area that were named after Abraham Lincoln, who’s family homes were in both Decatur and Springfield, that it made a great tie-in for our central Illinois news focus. We did a series of vignettes in conjunction of the grand opening of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum, and I’ve become quite knowledgeable of his life before and after the Presidency. Here in Oregon, we couldn’t be any further from Lincoln’s path from Kentucky into Indiana through Illinois to the White House. In fact, he never even visited the Oregon Territory, and once turned down an opportunity to become territorial governor in 1849.

So why Lincoln City? The name was actually chosen from contest entries submitted by local school children. The town was formed via a merger with the five original communities of Delake, Oceanlake, Taft, Cutler City, and Nelscott. Although Abraham Lincoln gave us the Pacific Railroad Act, and the Homestead Act, that both brought people to the state, and established “land grant colleges” like Oregon State University, it’s unclear why the students honored Lincoln in this manner? Tinker, Tally, and I will be “Looking for Lincoln” when we visit the area this weekend – he’ll probably be in the casino!

Old Sport Shorts: Poetic Baseball #632

August 18, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

The Cubs are doing what they need to do in August – Win! They’ve been nerve-wracking, gut-wrenching victories verging on “Ugly,” but so far they’re somehow 10-5 this month. I prefer to call it poetic, referring to the two most famous poems in baseball history. First, there was David Bote’s “Casey at the Bat” moment where he actually did what Casey was expected to do, and there was joy in Wrigleyville. (See Post #626). Last night, it was a Major League record-tying 7 double plays, reminiscent of the days of the famous Tinker, Evers, and Chance infield (See Post #54) that inspired the poem “Baseball’s Sad Lexicon.”

It was not typical Cubs “come-from-behind” baseball these past couple of days in Pittsburgh. Two consecutive 1-0 road wins also has to be some kind of record, since these have been the only back-to-back shutouts all season for Cubs pitching. It was also not Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance that brought home the “W” but rather Zobrist-to-Addison-to-Rizzo, Baez-to-Rizzo, Baez-to-Zobrist-to-Rizzo, Zobrist-to-Russel-to-Rizzo, Baez (4)-to-Russell (6)-to-Rizzo (3), Russell (6)-to-Baez (4)-to-Rizzo (3), and Bote (5)-to-Rizzo (3) to finally end the game. Seven-DPs have only been executed on two other occasions in baseball history, involving the 1969 SF Giants and 1942 Philadelphia Athletics. Both of those teams lost, so Kyle Schwarber’s solo shot in the second inning home run gave the Cubs the only seven-double-play-victory in history. Fly the “W” for Cubs starter Cole Hamels. Jon Lester had 8 strikeouts, Ian Happ homered, and there was only one double-play the night before for the exact same 1-0 result.

That many double plays in one game hadn’t happened in 49 years of baseball, just as Bote’s Ultimate Grand Slam a week ago was last done by Chris Hoiles on May 17, 1996 – 22 years ago, and Alan Trammel June 21, 1988 – 30 years ago: “Bases loaded, two outs, full count, bottom of the ninth, and down by three runs at the crack of the bat.” It’s been poetry in motion, watching the accomplishments of the Cubs in August. The month is only half over, as they continue their drive to win the Central Division over the slugging Brewers and streaking Cardinals. It will take even more heroics to win the World Series. David Bote, who has played a major role in this stretch in place of the injured Kris Bryant, has shown both offensive and defensive prowess. I saw him less than a month ago tie the game against the Diamondbacks in the bottom of the ninth with a center field blast, enabling Anthony Rizzo to win it in walk-off style.

It was that moment at Wrigley Field that I enjoyed with my 3 grandchildren, son, and nephew. The only thing that went wrong that day was that we couldn’t find our commemorative brick that my wife gave me as a gift eleven years ago. “3 Generations: Mike, Adam, Gavyn 9/10/2007. All three of us were in the stands that afternoon for an exciting 12-3 thrashing of the Cardinals. Gavyn was just a baby. Ted Lilly got the victory for the Cubs. Derek Lee went 3-5 and hit his 18th homer, while Aramis Ramirez was 4-5 at the plate and clubbed his 21st and 22nd round-trippers. My grandson Gavyn posed with the actual brick on our next visit after we located it in the Leo Durocher section along Clark Street. Last month, we wanted another picture of our brick with ten-year-older Gavyn, but due to all the construction the past couple years around the park, it was no longer in the Durocher section that had been relocated to Sheffield Avenue. I called the Cubs office to complain, and it took them about two weeks to find the brick’s new location. Unfortunately, we never got the picture, but the brick is now in the Frank Chance section. He is of course part of that poetic double-play 6-4-3 trio that helped win “back-to-back” 1907 and 1908 World Series titles. I feel our brick is in a better place now than enshrined with a guy nick-named “Leo the Lip.”

Retirement is not without Hassles: Lincoln City #628

August 14, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

My wife has decided that 38 straight days at home is not an acceptable retirement practice for me, so she booked a Birthday weekend for us in Lincoln City. It’s on the coast only a couple of hours away and dog friendly, so everybody gets to go but Frankie the cat. It will put an end to my 26-day stretch of being a homebody. Without this getaway, it could have been my first month since retirement of spending every night in my own bed. I’m already 16 days into “Homebody Heaven” and prepared to cook Veal Parmigiana for dinner tonight. Speaking of domestic duties, I also hired a painter yesterday to give us white ceilings and to put a fresh coat on the walls. It just might make me want to stay home more.

It’s a Spa Day for the pups, and a visit to the dentist for me once I drop them off. I will also make a stop to buy some Birthday running shoes, as I do every year at this time. I put about a thousand miles of wear on them each year, usually rotating between two pairs, and I can feel the need for fresh rubber. Last year, I bought them in anticipation of The Hood to Coast Relay that I have no desire to do again. However, with my recent weight loss of about 12 pounds, my morning runs have been easier. Traffic will pick-up a bit on my route as school starts in a couple of weeks, and I can race the bus up the hill again. Without the travel interruptions, I have maintained my 5k-a-day (3.1 miles) regimen now for 20 straight mornings, including the weekend “Schnauzerthons.”

Eye drops have become my biggest responsibility every day. Four times a day, I have to apply drops to both Tinker and Tally’s eyes. They only want to be interrupted for snacks, so they are not very cooperative. Tinker has “dry eye,” meaning that tears are not properly forming, and infections soon follow. With Tally, I continue to treat a cyst on her eyeball with a steroid solution. They will both be excited to get in the car in a few minutes until they realize that they are going for haircuts. When we take them to Lincoln City, it’s actually one of the few times where a ride in the car ends in a rewarding run on the beach. Occasionally, they get to go out to eat, but in most instances getting in the car usually results in unpleasant grooming or doctor visits. Frankie, our cat, had to go for a drive last week for some grooming, which is never a good experience. She “meows” in anger, non-stop from the minute we put her in the cat carrier. She gets to be a “homebody” today while the rest of us go our separate ways.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Bed Race #625

August 12, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

As this morning’s “Schnauzerthon” began and I started to carefully guide Tinker’s Air-Buggy down our steeply-sloped street, I couldn’t help but think of the Three Rivers Festival back in the early 1980’s. I worked for two radio stations in Ft. Wayne, Indiana and we were involved with just about every event in the festival. There was the Raft Race, Show Us Your Tan, Mud Jump, Softball Tournament, 3-on-3 Basketball, Concerts, Tug-of-War, Balloon Toss, and of course The Bed Race. It was a typical small-town week of fun that involved all kinds of silly competition, food, and fun.

My bosses were the two most competitive people that I ever met in the broadcasting business. They insisted on victory in everything we did from the ratings wars to the battle for advertising dollars. “I want their head on a stick,” was the pirate-like culture that ensued. We would meet as a team of 50-employees every morning to boast of our wins and plan for the next celebration. On weekends and evenings we were usually busy at city-wide and station events, fighting to maintain our market reputation as the best. Winning the Bed Race suddenly became the most important thing in life – losing was unforgivable!

If there was anything that I was good at – it was running fast. Sprints and dashes were my forte – forget long distance. One of my responsibilities as a new employee of the radio stations was to help them win the Three Rivers Festival Bed Race. If you’re not familiar, it’s simply a bed on wheels with push bars behind and on both sides of the frame. The lightest of us lays on a queen-sized mattress while five others push relentlessly towards the finish line. It’s like the start of a bobsled race as the team rocks the frame back and forth on the blades to get everyone in sync as the starter’s pistol goes off. As I grabbed the bar on Tinker’s carriage this morning and started to push, it took me back to that first Bed Race moment over 35-years ago.

Tinker, our 100-year old Schnauzer, had nothing to fear as we started this morning’s “Schnauzerthon.” There is no speed left in these legs, just as Tinker’s legs are starting to fail her. She limps instead of runs and this is why we invested in the stroller. We let her out to do her business along the way, while my wife and I take turns with our younger schnauzer Tally on a leash, and with pushing the Air-Buggy holding 26-pound Tinker. It’s the latest in weekend workout routines for us. Other dogs seem jealous of Tinker’s new status and want a carriage of their own. As I pushing from behind, I could imagine Tinker in her pajamas, wearing a sleep-stocking-cap just like the rider we once easily propelled to victory in the Three Rivers Festival Bed Race.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Twist #618

August 5, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Yesterday’s “Schnauzerthon”post (See #617), took on a new twist this morning. My wife and I went to the Soulful Giving Concert yesterday to benefit the Yoshida Foundation. It was a beautiful afternoon and evening with friends that involved several cover bands including Tom Petty, Fleetwood Mac, and Journey along with other groups that played Top 40 hits from the 80’s. We sat in lawn chairs under cover of the VIP tent, had a great lunch provided by several local restaurants, and enjoyed wine and of course the music. Part of the event was a silent auction that kept us engaged most of the day, and we ended up with a dog stroller for our aging pup, Tinker. Our friends bought a wicker picnic basket ensemble that we’ll all hopefully get some use out of on our frequent trips to wine country. We’ll all be together next weekend again at another outdoor, afternoon fundraiser, Polo Noir. It will feature “Nacho,” the polo “god” and the music of The Head and the Heart. Thankfully, there will be no silent auction to further drain our retirement savings.

From the minute we walked into the silent auction tent yesterday afternoon, my wife had her eye on this Air Buggy dog stroller, and frequently updated her bid while the bands played on. Our 100-year old schnauzer, Tinker has struggled on our last couple of weekend exercise outings that I just yesterday dubbed as “Schnauzerthons.” I run, my wife walks, and our two schnauzers get an hour-long airing each weekend morning to break-up their lazy condo-living routines. That all changed with the winning silent auction bid, as Tinker got to ride in her new Air Buggy rather than walk on sore feet this morning. Her schnauzer sister Tally I’m sure was envious, as she seemed even less anxious to run with me. I looped-back several times in an effort to coax her to join me in a sprint. Instead, she seemed even more protective of the pack and refused my invitations by sitting down to anchor any forward movement. I left her with my wife and took Tinker on a fast-paced buggy ride. Her ears were pinned-back by the wind just like when she was able to run, and I’m sure there was a grin on her face. This was the newest twist to the “Schnauzerthon,” that adds a little resistance to my run, especially on those up-hill segments. I do, however, feel a little silly pushing a dog in a stroller.

It’s like a fancy convertible, and looks far superior to the other baby strollers in the park. Tinker gets to sit up high and look down on even some of the tallest dogs in the park. Because of her appropriate nick-name, “The Poopingest Pup on the Planet,” we did have to stop on several occasions so she could do her stinky business. My wife apparently already recognizes her signals to “pull-over,” and we carefully lifted the princess in and out of her carriage, that comes equipped with a multitude of pockets to hold extra doggy-bags. I couldn’t help but notice the smug look on her face that erased the usual grimace of arthritic pain. My wife also felt like she got a better work-out since she could walk at a faster pace and enjoyed the resistance of the stroller as 26-pound Tinker’s primary limo driver. It was Good-Old-Tinker’s lucky day with new wheels thanks to my wife’s generosity, and the beginning of new “Schnauzerthon” twists and challenges that might be easier now that we’ve filled the tires with air.

Creature Features: Schnauzerthon #617

August 4, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

While many active adults spend their weekend mornings running in races to collect medals & t-shirts, we do a “Schnauzerthon” first-thing each Saturday and Sunday. Those of you familiar with Triathlons and Marathons may not be have heard of this particular event because I just made it up. A “Schnauzerthon” consists of at least two schnauzers and two people walking and running together for about an hour. You simply hop out of bed, put on some tennis shoes, do some stretching, grab some extra doggy-bags, leash-up the pups, and head out the door. The dogs are usually more excited to go than you are, but all of you may quickly lose interest. Our schnoodle-schnauzer, Tinker, is a bit gimpy in her old age and walks slowly, while Tally, at nearly half of Tinker’s age, is much more adventuresome. However, Tally has recently slowed to match Tinker’s pace in an effort to keep the pack together. She is content only when the four of us are all safely within her sight while she guides us along the route. She also likes to blaze her own trail rather than just follow along, so that she can be “the leader of the pack.”

With my current running streak at 3,506 consecutive days, I need to get in at least a continuous mile of running every day, so the “Schnauzerthon” is a compromise. My wife wants to move along at a brisk walking pace, and the dogs certainly need the exercise, so we all benefit from this activity. I will run ahead and then loop-back to take the leash of Tally to give her a chance to run with me. Tinker once was part of this exchange, but she can no longer keep up with my “blistering” pace. Tally is definitely ADHD, often stopping for smells, other dogs, squirrels, birds, and any other little distraction. I use a retractable leash because she will also suddenly halt if we get too far separated from the pack, and a whip-lash effect will literally stop me in my tracks as she stubbornly sits down on the pavement. While Tally is “running” with me, I’m constantly changing direction trying to keep her moving. I have the most success after taking the leash from my wife by back-tracking so that Tally has to run to try to catch-up with them. Also, if she can chase another runner or dog that is in front of us, she will actually pull me forward, despite her small size. I guess we all need that carrot of motivation.

After I complete my three-plus miles of running, I will then grab both dogs and walk them home. My wife will take an extra lap around the park at a much faster pace to make up for Tinker’s slowness, and will eventually join us for the home-stretch. At that point, Tally is relieved that the pack is back together. As we separate from my wife, she tends to drop behind me with her head twisted backwards, looking for any signs of her missing master. She does the same thing when my running path loops behind the three of them. My most important responsibility on the “Schnauzerthon” is to take any full bags of poop from my wife for proper disposal. Since we own Tinker, “The Poopingest Pup on the Planet,” this is a constant duty that I must fulfill along the route. Just doing my doggy-dooty. (See Post #501).

As you can clearly see, the “Schnauzerthon” would be a tough challenge for any great athlete. It involves miles of quick turns, sudden loops, leash exchanges, and varying paces. On some occasions, I have a leash in one hand, an on-coming dog, and a heavy poop bag in the other hand. Other times, it may be just a poop bag in each hand and only a hill to climb. There is stop-and-go, followed by jumping over a twisted dog leash, or untangling one from around a mailbox or tree. Our former dog, Belle, would wrap herself intentionally around anything just to get out of running with me. Both Tinker and Tally used to “run like the wind,” with tongues hanging out and ears flapping in the breeze. Anymore, it’s just to chase a squirrel, and Tinker has a hard time now even seeing them.

Creature Features: Steroid Sandwich #616

August 3, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Our 100-year old dog, Tinker, is feeling better after a steroid sandwich every morning. Over the past year, we’ve tried a number of medications to ease the discomfort of arthritis. As in her feet. As a much younger 66, I can certainly relate to the aches and pains every morning and the need for regular doses of Aspirin. Tinker would resist each time I tried to take her outside to do her business, but with the title of “The Poopingest Pup on the Planet” she would eventually slowly limp down the driveway and sidewalks to a grassy spot. This had escalated to the point where we’ve had to leave her behind on some of our long weekend walks. Watching her awkward movements was as if every step was like walking on hot coals. We tried mild doses of pain relievers and even CBD oil until we finally decided to use Prednisone, an oral corticosteroid used to suppress inflammation. We’d been debating about using it for some time, but were concerned about side-effects. (See Schnauzer on Steroids Post #67). What happens to the “Poopingest Pup on the Planet,” when her urges are more frequent and deposits larger? Do we have enough Spot Shot in the house to clean any soiled spots on the carpeting? Fortunately, most of our floors are wood or tile.

My wife’s long-time, Chow companion, Belle, had temporary problems with an uncontrollable bladder when she first tried Prednisone. She would drink excessive amounts of water and have to go out in the middle of the night. I did not want to repeat this experience with Tinker. Our first step for Tinker’s discomfort was Cortisone that proved to be successful temporarily. After an injection of this “wonder drug,” she was bounding up steps again, but it never lasted for more than a week. Additional injections were unfortunately less effective. I prefer injections with Tinker because she fights off any attempt to take pills. Between her allergies, infections, and pain medication, we were forcing pills down her throat regularly. At first, I tried to hide them in her food, but she would spit them out and eventually stopped eating – a major sacrifice considering her voracious appetite.

To solve this pill ingesting dilemma we tried Pill Pockets, hiding them in turkey slices, and covering them with honey or peanut butter. Just when you thought you had solved the problem, a rejected pill would show up on the floor. It was frustrating for both of us, until we discovered her love of Tillamook cheese. My wife was buying these snack packets to put in the lunch she packs every morning. They are 1/4″ thick slices that are soft enough to allow you to press a pill in the surface and then fold it over like a sandwich. The pill will not fall out and is cleverly concealed enough that even a dog this smart has not figured out its hidden secret. The cheese must also disguise the bitter flavor of the pill because she gobbles down this “steroid sandwich” every morning without hesitation. The other half of the cheese goes to her Schnauzer sister, Tally, so they both get an extra treat as my wife heads out to work with her cheese snack.

After her first week on Prednisone, Tinker seems to be smiling again. Say Cheese…. Hopefully, she’ll join us tomorrow for a long walk. The medication also seems to have relieved some of her incessant itching that we treat with another drug called Apoquel. Apparently, you can’t mix the two. Apoquel is very expensive, so it would be great if the steroid works for both, but that might be too good to be true. Pet.Vet.Debt. Tinker does seem to be panting a bit more, drinking more water, and seeks a grassy spot with more urgency when I take her out, but thankfully sleeps soundly overnight. She still needs help getting up on the couch, in the car, and into our bed, so no miracles of returning to puppy-hood have occurred so far. However, with a few more cheesy “steroid sandwiches” maybe we’ll get a glimpse of her good old days.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Date Night Memories #615

August 2, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Last night, as we were approaching the restaurant that my wife selected for our weekly “Date Night,” my wife began to worry that she had made a mistake. She felt a gnawing hunch that we had gone to this particular restaurant before, potentially violating one of the basic rules of the “Date Night” tradition. By definition, it has to be a different restaurant each time – no repeats. The whole purpose is to try different places, in search of favorites to recommend to others or take them to when they come to visit. Wednesday nights were originally set aside for this purpose, since at the time we were both working, so it provided a mid-week opportunity to share some time together and compare schedules. On occasion, “Date Night” was moved to Thursday nights, if a meeting or travel interfered, but for the most part it was designed to be a “Hump Day” activity for just the two of us lovers. (See Date Night Poem in Post #55).

As others became familiar with our “Date Nights,” I would gladly share our plans, as laid-out by my wife months in advance. As we discussed last night, it started because my “favorite foodie” would collect reviews and articles related to restaurants and stick them on our refrigerator, saying “we need to try this place.” We were living in a cramped apartment in Austin, Texas at the time, so it allowed us to escape any kitchen responsibilities, and enjoy quality time together. After a few months of doing this religiously, co-workers in both of our offices began to ask where we headed on that particular Wednesday night, and I began to print a schedule, including feedback on the restaurants we had already tried. It also became a popular topic of conversation with our friends and family, as my wife continued to add to our growing list.

Just recently I inadvertently deleted the list of over 1500 different restaurants all over the world that we’ve tried in our near-20-year relationship. I do, however, as the family “diary keeper” have a record of each one we’ve been to during this time frame. Yes, I’m a bit obsessive in the interest of a poor memory that is now retired. My wife, on the other hand, remembers most of these dates, including what both of us had to eat. She’s one of these people that has a special “chip” that allows her to remember dance steps, song lyrics, and food. My diary comes in handy on those rare occasions where she can’t think of the name of a restaurant where we dined ten years ago. As you can tell from the variety and quantity of restaurants that we’ve “frequented,” we’ve always been “frequent” diners-out. As a side note, I recently secured a hard-to-get table at the French Laundry in Napa that has always been on my wife’s bucket list. We’ll get a chance to critique it in a few months.

With my wife’s eidetic memory, it surprised me when she started to doubt our dining reservation last night. Would we break our streak of new “Date Night” restaurants, and accidentally return to a repeat situation? Instead, it turned out to be just a familiar location. We had, in fact, been to the building twice before, to restaurants with different names. In this case, we’d dined there a few years ago when it was Gustav’s, and then again when it was called Small Bites. This time it had just been renamed Bistro Agnes. Gustav’s was a very good German Restaurant, but now French chefs controlled the menu. Small Bites, a short-time occupant, was comparably unmemorable. Nonetheless, our “Date Night” streak remained intact, as it also inspired a conversation about how long we’d been maintained this dining tradition.

Once we got home last night after a great meal, I consulted the diary that I’ve kept through the years. “Date Night” started over 6 years ago (5/16/2012) at a restaurant called Foreign & Domestic that still exists in Austin. For the most part, the non-returning aspect of “Date Night” is not necessary a good thing for restaurant owners. However, in this case, we did return to this particular restaurant on “Non-Date Nights,” for special occasions and a celebrity chef event. Bistro Agnes may get second life as friends come to town, although there a several such “go-to” restaurants that we’ve found in our four years here in Portland.

I’ve estimated that about 325 Wednesdays have passed since our very first “Date Night.” We’ve probably missed no more than ten weeks of doing this, if you don’t count vacations where you’re always trying new places. That means that over 310 restaurants have benefited from our dates. My weekly “Date Night” budget is $150 for the two of us, but we’ve well-exceeded that investment on many an occasion. Overall, you could say that we’ve spent in excess of $50,000 over this time period. It’s hard to believe when you put it in that perspective – all for the sake of our stomachs! In defense, I’m also glad to say that we are regular contributors to food banks and the homeless, among other important causes.