Category: DIARY OF AN ADOPTEE (Page 10 of 18)

10,000 Maniacs may not be the best description of “Banister World,” but one of their albums In My Tribe certainly fits. I recently passed the 10,000 mark on my Ancestry.com Jerry Banister Family Tree – the work of a genealogical maniac. By definition, a maniac is “an obsessive enthusiast,” and certainly my efforts to solve the adoption puzzle can be described as such.

A vast majority of my 10,000 tribe members are dead people to respectfully protect the privacy of the living. Once an obituary is posted, you are apparently fair game in the world of genealogy. Some of these lives date back to the early settlers, so they have been gone for a long time. In many cases, they are only remembered by those of us that trace family lineage and add their contributions to our family trees. Otherwise, their tombstones continue to deteriorate or are overgrown by weeds until their memories are forgotten. Each one has played an important role in who we are today.

My tree, referred to by my wife as “Banister World,” is larger than most because I’m part of two distinct families – biological and adoptive. The Banister’s gave me life and the Johnston’s gave me love. There are only 44 Johnston’s on my tree compared to 243 Banister’s and another 95 Bannister’s. This includes Johnston’s on the Banister side of my family. My tree could probably be trimmed to this more manageable level, but my curiosity went far beyond these names.

Here’s the breakdown of other key family names in “Banister World:”

• Legg 418
• Hall 369
• Greathouse or Groethausen 297
• Foist or Foyst 232
• Taylor 195
• Penn 109
• Emly 103
• Sweany 94
• Herndon 84
• Hines 61
• Anderson 59
• Vanmeter 56
• Williams 52
• King 46

Including the Johnston’s and Banister/Bannister’s this list of dominant names only adds up to 2,557. This means that most of “Banister World” is comprised of smaller groups of family names that could include yours. In my overall quest, I did find John Penn, of Declaration of Independence fame and Jeff McShay a guy I used to work with in Indianapolis that went on to marry a Foist. I continue to search for a number of “close relative” DNA matches that include Terry & Fred Grimshaw, Phillip Legg, Winston Emly, Elsa Schneider, Larry Bogue, Benjamin Wilson, Charles Hines, Eva Alama, Donna Pearcy, Brenda Blessing, Sandra Dutton, Bec Taylor, F. Hines, Walter Wood, and Sandra Salas. Each of these connections I eventually hope to mark with a distinctive “DNA Match” on the Jerry Banister Family Tree. These are all people “in my tribe” as Natalie Merchant of 10,000 Maniacs sings about, that need to be added to The Tree.

You might want to think twice about spitting into a test tube. Are there secrets from your past that you don’t want revealed? Or, are there secrets you simply don’t know about yet? In my case, I was purposely trying to find DNA connections that might possibly lead to the identity of my birth parents. However, in the process I’ve unintentionally surprised and shocked a few people. In fact, I honestly didn’t even think about how my test might affect others. I present these thoughts as fair warning!

A popular gift these days is to present your spouse or family members with an Ancestry, 23andMe, or similar provider’s test kit. Here’s an example of the promise: “Join the World’s Largest Consumer DNA Database & Discover Your Ethnic Mix Today! Safe & Secure. Find New Relatives. The Most Connections. Number 1 Selling DNA Test. Join 10+ Million People. The Largest DNA Database. Simple & Easy. Services: Ethnicity Mix Report, New Relative Discovery.” It all sounds innocent enough!

Once you take the simple test, they provide you with a ranking of DNA name matches in order of closeness, from immediate family to first through distant cousins. Some people use their real names while others use abbreviations and probably even false identities. There is an opportunity to privately contact each other through the site, but many of the connections are very minimal and not worth pursuing. I was fortunate to find a “half-sibling” and two “first cousins” on my lists. There were also a number of “second” and “third” cousins that I could track on my family tree without contacting them, if they provided access to their own genealogical charts. I used two of the most popular services, but Ancestry proved to be most efficient in the process of identifying “relatives.”

I’m sure my “half-sibling” connection was quite surprised when I contacted her. The “first cousin” was her son, who bought her the kit for Mother’s Day. She responded, while he didn’t. Over the course of time, I know realize how lucky I was to have established contact with her, because most people will not respond to your messages. Her son, for example, felt that my efforts were “a scam.” In fairness, I have had a few people respond to my inquiries, but many remain skeptical. However, as a result of the test, I believe I have discovered the identity of my birth father, while her family has learned some secrets about their father.

I know the identity of the birth mother through court documents of the adoption (See Post #825), although she continues to be in denial. Through the DNA test, I have found a close match with her niece. I’m sure my attempts to contact this stranger have been a total shock, as were my previous certified letters to the unsuspecting birth mother and her legitimate son. Perhaps her lack of response is an indication that she regrets taking the test? Maybe it was a gift accepted without these warnings, as well?

This made me think of other reasons why people may not be anxious to take a DNA test, or respond to matches. For example, there was a time when a man could anonymously donate sperm to a couple or woman trying to conceive and everyone could be reasonably sure it would remain a secret. But thanks to home DNA test kits and the internet, those days are now over. In other words, your generosity (or income source) could backfire on you.

By the same token, men and women who didn’t know they were conceived with a sperm donor are unexpectedly turning up the family secret when they take DNA tests for fun, for genealogy research or other reasons. In a way, I guess my birth father was nothing more than a sperm donor, since he probably never knew that I existed, just as all these other children came into the world. I at least knew that I had biological connections that were separate from my adopted parents. What if you discover that you’re the product of a neighbor, the mailman, or other adventurous affair?

If you were a sperm or organ donor and want to remain anonymous – don’t take this test. As a DNA match, you could be contacted to preserve a life that you confidentially created, or in an effort to learn critical health background information. Which might make you a good Samaritan or be an unwelcome or embarrassing intrusion, depending on how you look at it? We’re already starting to see some lawsuits! On the obvious side, if you have a criminal background, a DNA test could prove your involvement, particularly in the case of a rape. On the extreme, you could be even contacted by your victim. It’s hard to imagine, but it could happen as the result of spitting in a tube. Beware!

Maybe you’re familiar with the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, but few can appreciate the story of Jerry Lee Banister, or is that Bannister. I only knew him as simply Jerry Lee, the name my birth mother put on my sealed adoption records and used on my Adoptive Home Placement Agreement. In court, I was officially introduced in the legal world as Jerry Lee Bannister on docket #5-361 in the Probate Court of Marion, County Indiana. On October 29, 1951, two months and two days after I was born, I was put in the custody of Burton Lee Johnston and Catherine Jane Johnston as their child and heir. The court document also refers to “the written consent of Edna Faye Bannister, mother and only guardian of said minor.”

During the prior two months before adoption, I had spent time at Indianapolis General Hospital and the Suemma Coleman Adoption home -both no longer exist. Hospital records show me as “Infant Bannister,” once again spelled with two n’s. It’s odd that even my birth mother Edna used this incorrect spelling of her name, as if she was trying to disguise any connection to me. She was undoubtedly back home when the judge made this ruling, trying to deal with the “shame” she brought to her family. Those feelings are apparently now lost from her memory as I suddenly reappeared back in her life 66 years later. It would be hard to forget, but when asked she now responds, “don’t you think I would remember that?”

Jerry Lee Bannister no longer exists, except on Facebook. It’s a secret life known only to those close to me. I was renamed Michael Lee Johnston and only started to look back once my loving parents had both passed away four years ago. The Facebook site was solely created to connect with other Bannisters in an attempt to seek closure on the identity of the biological pair that mistakenly created me. Thanks to DNA testing through 23andMe and Ancestry.com I have now come close to the answer. The problem is the father is dead and the mother won’t talk.

If I could speak to her, I would have nothing but gratitude. The Johnston’s gave me everything I could have possibly needed and more. Unfortunately, life was much harder on her. At seventeen, her life was disrupted by mine and she missed her senior year of high school. My birth father left her to deal with this alone, but in all fairness probably never knew of my existence. Cecil Ralph joined the Marines and married one of her classmates shortly after I was born. I doubt that Edna’s parents ever embraced their brief relationship and probably struggled with disowning her. Maybe the feeling was mutual?

One of the problems with their relationship was that they were distant cousins, sharing the Banister name. It was also the early 1950’s when premarital affairs were one of the biggest sins anyone young woman could commit. I could admit some of my mistakes at that age. Cecil Ralph’s side of the family, with a few exceptions, didn’t spell Banister with the double “n” either. This probably prevented Edna from sharing his identity with anyone, although she left a “Marine” clue for some reason in the adoption paperwork. Also, his age of 20 and enjoyment of high school sports proved to be accurate. As fate would have it, I happened to closely match the DNA of his daughter, to the point where we are identified as “half-siblings.” I also have a close DNA match with one of Edna’s nieces, as if I needed further proof of her identity.

There is a side of me that would like to see and thank her, but there’s also a need to respect her privacy. I think I have the answers, so there’s no point in bringing up bad memories. She’s 85 years old and has lost two sons. I certainly can’t make up for that. Her only living son, oddly also named Jerry Lee, will take his mother’s side regardless of the truth. After all, out of similar loyalty, I waited until my parent’s were gone before I actively pursued her identity. Unless Edna and I finally get together, I will always remain her dirty little secret.

I spent a lot of time this weekend in “Banister World,” adding some more clues to the family tree. When you’re doing genealogy work on Ancestry.com, each leaf that pops up on the site indicates that information is available that might help connect family members. My Jerry Banister Tree has now grown to over 9,000 members, so it’s nearly impossible to keep up with all the leaf clues. It’s like a bad fall day in the Midwest and all you have is a rusty, old rake. All that raking just might give you a blister. (See Post #818). In my case, it’s simply a case of “Banister Butt” and a sore back from sitting at the computer too long.

One of the branches of the Banister family is the Foist family. It’s important to me because my suspected birth father married a Foist, and it’s my way of being useful to my new DNA relatives with my retirement time. It’s actually much like playing a game, trying to fit the pieces of a genetic puzzle together. My current quest is to find a place on the tree for each of my DNA matches on Ancestry and 23andMe. I mark them each with a green “DNA Match” icon on my sprawling Jerry Banister Family Tree. This is not always easy since in many cases they are distant “relatives” – third or fourth cousins. I’m guessing that I now have found 30 or more such connections. I added two more today, but still struggling to find father and son Grimshaw. They were my very first contact as distant cousins, but we’ve not been able to connect the dots on precisely how we are genetically related.

One of the many challenges of establishing lineage is that Foists can be Fist(e)s or Foysts, and the last name McLoughlin can be spelled entirely too many different ways. The surname Emly can be listed with two e’s, and even Banister can have one “n” or two. There are also too many Charlie Foists and Mike McLoughlans or is it Mclaughlins? I can certainly relate to this because my adopted name is Johnston and everyone wants to leave out the “t” or add an “e” on the end. Back in the days when census taking was a cumbersome door-to-door process, names were mispronounced, accents got in the way, and results were written illegibly. By the time they were eventually typed into the system and years later computerized, the correct spelling of people’s names were even more misconstrued. To make matters worse, thousands of amateurs are adding these already inaccurate names and dates into the Ancestry database with their own clumsy fingers.

Unfortunately, I have to rely on this information. Most all of the people on my tree are dead strangers. Unlike the network of adopted Johnston family members that I grew up with, the Banisters are a new connection. I have personally met less than 10 of them in the past year, and 5 were on one visit down to Scipio, Indiana, a small town I’d never even passed through before. I met one in Chicago, two in Indianapolis, and had a phone conversation with one more. I hope to add to that total, but I understand the reluctance of acceptance. After all, I surprised them all 67 years after my birth.

“Banister world” is a strange new planet and I’m an alien who just landed. I’m fortunate to have gained some acceptance into an exclusive family club thanks to a hand-full of open-minded people. Even my Banister birth mother has denied any possible connection, and her close family members remain unreceptive to my messages. In the meantime, I’ve built probably the largest connective network of Banister/Bannister/ Foist/McLaughlin/Emry/Legg/Robinson/VanMeter/????Sampson/etc. relatives in the world. I even found a very “large” Butt family in the mix. giving even more meaning to Banister Butt! At this point, I might even be one of the leading experts on “Banister” lineage, especially since I come from both sides. It’s all in an effort to gain acceptance, even if I am just a beloved Banister bastard, grateful to have been given a meaningful life thanks to a forgivable “mistake” between two teenagers and the adoption option.

I still have a lot of questions about my birth parents, as the answers continue to trickle in. This morning, I got a reply from Julie, whose Ancestry.com DNA match connects us as half-siblings. My wife and I went to visit her, three of her four sisters, and their mother down in Scipio, Indiana the day after Christmas. Since that exciting but overwhelming experience of meeting for the first time, we have maintained limited communication via text and e-mail. I sent her a lengthy e-mail a few weeks ago and had been anxiously but patiently waiting for a response. I have to admit that the thought of perhaps being too aggressive with my questions had finally silenced our new relationship. What do you say to a lady that shares the same genes with her father as a 67-year old total stranger? How personal of an impact should you make?

This is certainly a new experience for me, and I often don’t know what to say or do. I would obviously like to know more about this man that she calls dad and his probable link to me physically. Julie’s mom had to be somewhat stunned when I suddenly entered their lives, but she called me back after our visit. After dancing around the subject, I was able to ask her about any health problems that her husband might have experienced. This was something that adoptive parents do not have in common with their children, and an important factor in preventative healthcare. If indeed her husband Cecil was my birth father, I should know what to expect, especially since he had some lymphoma and heart issues. It felt like her candid answers were a forewarning of what might affect me in the future.

He was about my age of 67 when a tumor first appeared on the back of his leg. He was dead twelve years later. This is the first thing that came to mind, when I had my dizzy spell while running last week. As a result, I immediately requested to go to the ER. This might not have been the case even a year ago. Could this search for my birth parents have been for a life-saving reason?
As it turned out, my dizziness was not an indication of a stroke or even an ATI, and certainly there no signs of cancer.

I will probably never get any background information from the birth mother. Even though Edna is still alive, she continues to remain in denial of any connection to me. At least I know she’s reached the age of 85, but in the process has lost two sons at the ages of 33 and 42 respectively. Edna’s oldest son is currently 62, while her only daughter is 55. At this point, I have been unsuccessful getting in touch with either one.

They met at North Vernon High School that I was under the mistaken impression was named Muscatatuck. This is because when I met with Cecil’s family in Scipio they showed me some yearbook pictures of him and Edna. She was a Junior and he was Senior. As daughter Julie’s much anticipated reply to my e-mail indicated, Muscatatuck was simply the name of the yearbook. This explains why I could find no reference to Muscatatuck High School when I searched the web. Cecil transferred there for his final year of school because his father apparently had a drinking problem that led to frequent moves with new jobs. He had previously gone to nearby Butlerville High and took advantage of a newly formed football program at his new school.

Cecil and Marilyn, his wife-to-be, dated “on and off” during her last two years at North Vernon in 1950 and 1951. “He dated around a lot,” she indicated. Maybe this is why he earned the moniker “heart breaker” under his yearbook photo? The outcome appears to be me – born in August of 1951! Even my presumed birth mother, who attended the same school but never graduated, described him as “gregarious” in the adoption records. In April of 1951, Cecil joined the Marines and he and Marilyn were married in October, six months after her graduation. The newlyweds moved to California where he was stationed prior to his service in Korea.

At the same time they were married, certainly unaware of my recent birth, I was adopted by a special family from Elkhart, Indiana. This is where I grew up and went to high school. Marilyn and Cecil were married for 60 years up until his tragic death in 2011. My birth mother married for the first time in around 1955, but I can’t find any verification records.

If nothing else, I’ve at least learned to pronounce “Muscatatuck,” and now know that it is an Indian name believed to mean “winding waters.” What that has to do with North Vernon High School and their yearbook is beyond me? Most of us are still trying to figure out what being a “Hoosier” means, so a “Muscatatuck” is a similar mystery. I will continue to look into this, as I persist in digging up my roots.

Thanks to a fellow Banister, I was able to find Susan Smith on my Ancestry.com chart. (See Post #807). This was particularly exciting because it’s very very close DNA connection to my birth mother. In fact, her sister’s daughter. I sent her a note last week, but she’s obviously leery about responding. I can’t say I blame her; after all, I’m a total stranger out-of-the-blue claiming to be a relative. It helps that I have the support of other Banister family members in my quest to determine the true identities of my birth parents.

I was adopted in October of 1951, only a few months after I was born. I have no reason to be critical of the decision that a 17-year old high school student had to make after finding out she was pregnant. I don’t even know the circumstances of the relationship she had with a 19-year old boy. He had already graduated and had enlisted in the Marines, so he was probably not even aware of her predicament. In fact, he would be engaged to another young woman before I was even born.

She had four older sisters (+10, +9, +7, +4) and three brothers (+6 and +2 twins), so she might have gone to them for advise before she approached her parents. Also, there might have been a close girlfriend from school that she could confide in? Once she told her mom, she would undoubtedly have been cut-off from the world. Dad probably didn’t speak to her for weeks, and she would have been left alone to wallow in shame. To make matters even more humiliating, the birth father was a distant cousin, so she had no choice but to protect his identity and maybe even “lie” about being raped. It was not her fault, but she didn’t want to get anyone else in trouble. Abortion might have been considered, or running away, but ultimately she was sent out of town to give birth. The fewer people that knew – the more her dignity was preserved, and she never returned to high school where the rumor mill was probably running wild.

She eventually found a job and lived on her own in a bigger city, a place where no one knew her, hoping to put this miserable year of her life in the past. Eventually, she moved-on, had another son, and got married. Who knows if she ever got any support from her family? It was a traumatic experience, and the only way to deal with it was to forget, and never talk about it again. Sixty-six years later, I show up with DNA evidence and begin to ask a lot of questions from her relatives. The only way she can cope is through denial. This is probably why I will never meet her.

My birth mother’s oldest sister, Helen, might have known the truth, but she died 13 years ago. All the other siblings have passed with the exception of 89-year old Eva Joyce. Helen had four children of her own; the youngest is Susan Barker, who married Mark Smith. However, with such a common last name it was difficult to determine any connection on my genealogy charts. Her Facebook profile indicated that she was from Crawfordsville, Indiana and had a common “friend.” I always feel like a stalker when I’m forced to do background checks on close DNA matches. However, she didn’t answer my inquiries. Instead, she’s probably shocked to find out that her aunt is my birth mother, and we are technically “first cousins.” Surprise!

I doubt that I’ll hear back from Susan, but our common DNA data supports the suspicions and documentation of my birth mother’s identity as Edna Faye Banister. Originally, all I wanted to know from Edna was the name of the father, but I doubt that anyone knows. Ironically, it is also DNA that confirms his identity to likely be Cecil Ralph Banister. This was all a result of spitting into a test tube and making a few Banister connections over the past year. For me, it’s all a matter of closure, especially since my adopted parents have both now passed away. I want nothing more than the truth, and will continue to “follow the saliva” in its pursuit, as gross as that may seem!

As an adopted child, DNA has always been a foreign subject. I keep trying to learn more about this genetic bond that we have with our parents, siblings, and offspring. Since DNA is currently the only connection that I have with the Banister family (that I believe to be a part of), I continue to explore the complicated scientific aspects of this phenomenon.

I’ve already discussed the centimorgan (Cm) comparisons between two people who share DNA (See Diary of an Adoptee Post #719). Anyone who takes a DNA saliva test through Ancestry.com will get a list of matching “relatives” arranged from highest to lowest. A range of 2400-2800 means you are parent, child, or identical twin. 20-85 means you are likely a 4th cousin. My highest match was 1,719, indicating a potential half-sibling relationship. This is what has led me to possible identification of my birth father. I also share 40 “segments” with this particular individual, and 30 segments and 894 Cm with her son. In simple terms, what does this mean?

If you are female, you share 23 segments with each parent, and each segment spans the entire chromosome. If you are male, you share 22 segments with the father (since the DNA Relatives feature does not use the Y chromosome) and 23 segments with your mother. Shared DNA segments, also referred to as ‘matching segments‘, are the sections of DNA that are identical between two individuals. These segments were most likely inherited from a common ancestor. DNA segments can be found on all of the 22 autosomal chromosomes.

I happened to check my list the other day for any updates and found another key DNA relationship. The name Susan Smith popped up on the Ancestry site with 41 segments and 991 Cm. She must have just recently taken the test. I looked her up on Facebook and found a recognizable Banister name as a “Friend,” so this might be the right person. Could this be a connection to the birth mother’s side of my family? I know her identity through adoption records, but the closest match that I have to her in on the 23andMe website. It was my very first exposure to this kind of testing, but out of curiosity I ultimately used both services. Apparently 23andMe developed the technology used by Ancestry.com. Marilyn Banister (5.56%, 12 segments, 414 Cm) and Janine Marthai (5.3%, 17 segments, 400 Cm) are my closest matches on that listing. Janine’s mother was a Banister, who I’ve already had the opportunity to meet.

There are hundreds of different DNA testing services. As a result, the lists of matching relatives vary with each site. This is why I marvel at the coincidence that both myself and a likely “half-sibling” both happened to use the same Ancestry service. She got it as a Mother’s Day gift from her son, while I elected to add a second test probably due to a special offer. It allowed us to meet over the Holidays. (See Post #786).

You could stop reading right here for today, but I tend to still have a skeptical side. I can never get enough facts, especially when it comes to making scientific-based accusations about the couple that brought me into this world. I went to the 23andMe website for more information and graphics. They offer this explanation of their genetic comparisons:

We estimate the genealogical relationship between two individuals. We do this by comparing your autosomal DNA (chromosomes 1-22) and X chromosome(s) with other 23andMe members who are participating in the DNA Relatives feature.

While the autosomal DNA is inherited in the same way for both genders, the X chromosome is not:

• Autosomal DNA is inherited equally from both parents for both men and women.

• The X chromosome is a sex chromosome; women inherit an X chromosome from each parent, while men only receive an X chromosome from his mother. In men, the X chromosome is paired with the Y chromosome – which is only inherited from his father.

The Y chromosome is not used by the 23andMe DNA Relatives feature to detect matches.

We say that two individuals share DNA when both individuals inherited the same DNA from the same ancestor. For example, you and your sister share DNA that you both inherited from the same parent. You and your first cousin share DNA inherited from your mutual grandparents. The 23andMe DNA Relatives feature uses patterns of DNA sharing to estimate relationships.

I will continue to pursue answers about my background, but I want to remain sensitive about all the people involved. I don’t necessarily like having to dig into other peoples’ backgrounds, but I’m driven to finding closure about this important aspect of my life.

I spent some time in “Banister World” yesterday, and discovered an important link to the founding of our country. While visiting a Banister relative in Chicago a few months ago, I took some photos of a variety of documents related to family genealogy. Included was one entitled “Ancestors of Ruby Mae Taylor.” At the time I didn’t realize its significance. Yesterday, I followed its path back to our English ancestors.

I definitely have DNA links to the Banister family, a connection unknown until just recently. I was adopted at birth and those records, although illegally secured, led me to identify Edna Faye Banister as the birth mother. Because of this, I “declare” myself to be a Banister. Edna’s father, Ivan Otis “Pete” Banister married Ruby Mae Taylor on August 17, 1922. She is a direct descendant of the Penn family, including John Penn who was one of the 56 people who signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776, representing North Carolina. I found this brief biography on him through ushistory.org:

“John Penn was born on May 17, 1741 in Caroline County, Virginia, to a family of means. His father died when he was eighteen years old, and though he had received only a rudimentary education at a country school, he had access to the library of his relative Edmund Pendleton. He was licensed to practice law in the state of Virginia at age twenty-two. In 1774 he moved to Granville County, North Carolina, where he established a law practice and soon became a gentleman member of the political community. He was elected to attend the provincial Congress in 1775 and elected to the Continental Congress that same year. He served there until 1777, participating in committee work. He was again elected in 1779, appointed to the Board of War, where he served until 1780. He declined a judgeship in his native state around that time, due to failing health. In retirement he engaged in his law practice. He died at the age of 48.”

John Penn was a fourth generation descendant of William Penn. According to Wikipedia, in 1681 King Charles II handed over a large piece of his American land holdings to Penn to pay the debts the king owed Penn’s father, Admiral Sir William Penn. This land included present-day Pennsylvania and Delaware. Penn immediately set sail and took his first step on American soil in New Castle (now in Delaware) in 1682 after his trans-Atlantic journey.  William Penn (14 October 1644 – 30 July 1718) was an English nobleman, writer, early Quaker, and founder of the English North American colony the Province of Pennsylvania. He was an early advocate of democracy and religious freedom, notable for his good relations and successful treaties with the Lenape Native Americans. Under his direction, the city of Philadelphia was planned and developed. A 37-foot high, 53,000 pound statue of him stands atop City Hall Tower.

These are definitely the most famous Banister connections that I have discovered so far. My Ancestry.com Jerry Banister Family Tree details this patriotic genealogical chain that includes these Banister relatives and their birth dates:

• Ruby Mae Taylor Banister 1904 – married Ivan Otis “Pete” Banister
• Charles Redona Taylor 1878 – Ruby’s Father
• William Alonzo Taylor 1856 – Ruby’s Grandfather
• Garrett W. Taylor 1836 – Ruby’s Great Grandfather
• Daniel W. Taylor 1814 – Ruby’s 2x Great
• Major Willis Taylor 1788 – Ruby’s 3x Great
• Reverend John Taylor 1788 – 4x Great married Lucy Penn
• John Penn 1741 – Declaration signer
• Moses Penn 1712
• John Penn 1680
• William Penn 1644 – Founded Pennsylvania Colony
• Sir William Penn 1621

I spent all day yesterday adding information into my Jerry Banister Family Tree on Ancestry.com. The branches now support over 8,000 names! It was so time consuming, in fact, that I didn’t even take time to write my daily post. I also did a couple of errands, met friends for both breakfast and lunch, plus had dinner with my wife. Otherwise, I would have had a severe case of “Banister Butt” from sitting at the computer all day. (See Post #619). When I leave the mindless universe of cable TV for the tedious genealogical work involved with Ancestry.com, my wife often teases that I’ve drifted into what she calls “Banister World.” It can occupy hours of my time putting together what often is nothing more than a dead people puzzle.

After my recent visit with the Banister family in Scipio, Indiana, one of the sisters, Julie, established a shared file to store and compare family information. She then scanned ten documents comprised of many hand written pages that her sister Janet had gathered through the years. Janet prefers to do her genealogy work without a computer and had a lot of great information on loose pages that I wanted to add to my tree. For Janet’s benefit, I reciprocated with one of the massive documents in the shared drive that my meeting a few months ago with another Banister relative in Chicago uncovered. This particular chart outlines the descendants of my birth mother’s side of the Banister family.

I’m apparently the product of two Banister relatives, who eventually established families of their own. They both shared a great grandfather, David Banister, who was the son of Laborn Banister, the acknowledged head of the family tree. His Banister father remains unknown. My birth mother, Edna Faye Banister was determined from adoption and census records. The presumed birth father, Cecil Ralph Banister, was established through a “half-sibling” DNA connection with his daughter Julie. I have yet to put the pieces together on Edna and Cecil’s brief relationship. However, they did go to the same small high school for one year in Indiana – Muscatatuck. Oddly, in the yearbook Edna was listed as Madonna. He was a Senior and she was a Sophomore in 1949, two years before my birth.

Cecil Ralph Banister finished high school and started work at Cummins Engine Company after graduation before entering the Marines at age 20. He retired from Cummins in 1985 after 35 years of employment as a machine operator. Edna Faye Banister completed only her Junior year of school and gave birth to me, Jerry Lee Banister, the next summer. The course of their lives changed quickly. Edna’s family sent her away to Indianapolis for my end-of-August delivery, while he moved to Quantico, Virginia March 4, 1951 for basic training (PFC #1181863). He would have missed Edna’s 18th birthday and likely never knew she was pregnant. He then married his only wife Marilyn on October 8, 1951, and celebrated his 21st birthday on July 21, 1952 in Korea as Sargent Banister.

Edna Faye married Charles Poole and gave birth to a second son 5 years & 5 days later. She also inexplicably named him Jerry Lee. Her life is still a mystery to me during that five-year span, although she was working as a machine operator for Reliance Manufacturing in Columbus, Indiana by 1953 and as a clerk at Carpenter’s Drug Store in the same city two-years later. She moved to Anderson in 1955 before remarrying in 1962 to Clayton Davidson. She had also given birth to a third son, Gary Lynn Davidson the year before, followed by two more children during the next two years of that marriage. Of these three Davidson children, only the daughter Janet Faye currently survives, along with Jerry Lee Poole. Edna is currently unmarried but celebrated her 85th birthday on April 9th. Cecil, on the other hand, is survived by his wife Marilyn and five daughters after tragically losing a 16-year old son in October of 1971.

More pieces of the “world of family” puzzle will come together as I continue to spend time in “Banister World” and share information with my DNA relatives. I’m waiting for some paperwork from the State of Indiana regarding my adoption records that were recently legally unsealed. I doubt that this will give me more information but it will serve as “official” confirmation of Edna’s identity as my birth mother. At that point, I will make another effort to contact Edna and her other son named Jerry Lee, who continue to avoid contact with other Banister connections who thankfully believe my carefully documented story.

I met with the family of my presumed birth father less than a week ago. Today, I got a follow-up call from his wife of just under 60 years to thank us for the flowers that we presented her with as my wife and I entered their unique cabin in the woods of Scipio, Indiana. She was only 18 when they got married, while he was 20 and passed at age 79. I was surprised that she called, but I was also quite pleased. It was a vote of confidence and credibility that I have been slowly building in the Banister family. It’s also giving me some of the answers that I’ve been searching for the last few years, if not the 67 years I’ve been alive.

As I talked with her for about a half-hour, I began to ask some tough questions that have been haunting me. I realized that she was just as stunned by the circumstances of our unlikely relationship as I am. However, she was very open about my inquiries as to health issues with her husband that could possibly have a bearing on my genetic make-up.

When you seek genetic connections that you’ve never had with adopted parents, you begin to look for common physical characteristics, similar mannerisms, and potential associated health risks. Cecil Ralph Banister was apparently about my age when signs of cancer began to materialize. First, it was a large cyst or lump on the back of the leg that Marilyn noticed when he was working in their barn. He apparently preferred wearing shorts regardless of the weather. I thought about my dog outings and run this morning that I did in shorts, despite the freezing conditions outside. With lymphoma, swelling of the lymph nodes is one of the primarily initial signs. She questioned why he hadn’t had it looked at earlier?

To be honest, I’ve never really worried before about health issues. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss, especially since every form I’ve filled out at a doctor’s office allowed me to skip hereditary issues. This is the first indication that cancer may have existed in my family. I find it a bit disconcerting, but it comes with the territory of finding your true identity. His wife explained in detail the pain, procedures, and decisions that he was forced to make, eventually leading to his tragic death. I will not get into details at this point to protect his dignity, but I also learned that he refused a Purple Heart for his heroism in Korea. This tells me of his humble nature. I mourn his loss, despite the fact that I never met him, and he probably never knew that I existed.

On the lighter side, she told me that he was a fan of Bobby Knight and the Indiana University basketball program. As an athlete himself, he enjoyed all types of sports and was even skilled in shuffleboard. As I slowly digest bits and pieces of his life, as will undoubtedly continue in future calls with the family, I’m probably trying too hard to find similarities. He was an outdoors lover, craftsman, hunter, camper, and soldier; all the things that I’m not. Each of his five daughters was very different in appearance and mannerisms. However, there was a common opinion that my eyes and eyebrows are just like their dad’s. It’s my very first physical confirmation, although people also liked to tell me how much I resembled my adopted parents. Regardless of any connections I may develop with this new family, I will never forget my real family. I’m simply now more aware of health threats that could somehow ultimately save my life.