Category: Purdue University Boilermakers (Page 7 of 10)

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Retirement is not without Hassles: Paradise #890

March 27, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Just another day in Paradise, with a few more to go here in Phuket. We had another great dinner last night, but the Thai spices are hard on my digestive system. I think I’m ready for a steak, but instead it looks like Italian tonight. My wife is making the reservation as I write. I sometimes think that the first thing she thinks of every morning is where our next meal will be, while I’m contemplating another “Tums for the Tummy.” A run will help, so as soon as she gets ready we’ll take a stroll by the beach and around the lagoon. Swamp does not seem like the appropriate term for Paradise, but it did have a stinky, damp smell. We did not see any strange creatures, just a pack of black dogs romping on the beach.

There were no thunderstorms yesterday, unlike our narrow escapes from heavy afternoon rains the previous two days. We spent the day at the pool, and I have the skin color to prove it. “Red Man,” my wife called me last night, despite the use of a 30 sun screen. I did run back and forth to the Renaissance to watch the game in the morning, but other than that I spent about 6-hours on my back reading the Girl of Venice – in and out of the pool to cool-off. This morning I’m already quite sweaty after 4 miles of hot, steamy roadwork. My wife, of course, had to stop and read a restaurant menu. We did find a third Marriott property along the main road, just beyond Micky Monkey Beach and the Renaissance. Maybe the beach got its unusual name because there’s a full-sized flying trapeze and a school where they teach the basic aerial arts? It does not have anything to do with Mickey Mouse.

Regular season Major League Baseball starts at just past 1 a.m. Phuket time. I doubt that I will see the opening pitch as I traditionally try to do. By the time I get up tomorrow morning, the full slate of Opening Day games will have been completed and the Sweet Sixteen will tip- off with Florida State playing Gonzaga at 6:09 a.m. Both Oregon vs. Virginia and Purdue vs. Tennessee follow. All three of these games will have a strong bearing on my bracket standings. Up until this point, I’ve been surprisingly competitive in both friendly pools, with pride more than money at stake.

It will be in the 90’s again today with rain later tonight. It’s time to head to the pool with a new book, Swimming Lessons, and a quick dip wash off some of this lagoon odor. My cousin is meeting us for drinks at 3 this afternoon after his Thai language class. Maybe he’ll teach me a few new words besides Wat (Temple), Nahm (Water), and Hong (Room). Put two of these together and you get Toilet or Water Room. The Temple throne is inside. Outside is simply Paradise.

Old Sport Shorts: NIT #889

March 26, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Not In Tournament. I keep telling myself this yet here I am in Phuket, Thailand up at 6 a.m. monitoring the Indiana Hoosiers against Wichita State on the internet. As soon as it gets light outside, I will run over to the nearby Renaissance Hotel and actually watch the second half with my cousin. THAIU. A fellow I.U. Alumni, he lives in Thailand part of the year to teach English to Chinese kids. This involves a VPN (Virtual Private Network) connection on his computer that apparently has a secondary benefit of tricking ESPN into identifying his location to be within the United States. My computer won’t allow me to watch the game here in Thailand, as I learned from trying to tune-in the previous two I.U. basketball games. Hopefully, the game will remain close at halftime when I arrive there on foot. I’m just waiting for the sun to come up so I don’t have to navigate the narrow road in the dark.

The game is starting out in typical I.U. fashion this season with poor shooting and sloppy turnovers. We’ve already fallen behind by 11 and only have 13 points with less than 8 minutes to go in the half. Romeo Langford is not playing again due to an “NBA related injury” so the spotlight is on Juwan Morgan, playing his final game at Assembly Hall. The winner goes on to Madison Square Garden for the Championship round of four. The goal at this point would be to simply stay in range and hope for a better second half, as has often been the case with this team. Inconsistency has been their trademark with long scoring droughts and silly ball handling errors. They are often hard to watch, so going out of my way to do so may be a bad idea. The last time these two teams played was in the actual 2015 NCAA Tournament, so both programs have fallen on hard times. Wichita State won that game 81-76 to advance to the Sweet 16. Hopefully, things turn sour this morning for the Shockers!

I.U. was down by seven points when I made the one-mile-plus run to my cousin’s hotel, extending my running streak to 3,741 consecutive days. They made a run to eventually tie the score but sputtered pathetically in the end to lose by ten 73-63. I knew that when The Shockers hit the 60 mark first that the game was over. They hit eleven 3-pointers and made 18 of 25 free throws. The Hoosiers were a miserable 7-13 from the free throw line and only 33.3% behind the arc. As a result, The Shockers are going to a “Garden Party” and the Hoosiers are going back to class. It used to be that the first sign of spring was that I.U. was still playing basketball and Purdue was not. Instead, the Boilermakers are in the Sweet 16 and will play Tennessee on Thursday (Friday morning at 6:20 a.m. here in Thailand). The good news is that I don’t have to watch I.U. any more this miserable season. As I ran back another mile from my cousin’s hotel to mine along the beach, I also savored the additional good news that I’m in beautiful Phuket, and it’s only a short walk to the pool to drown my basketball sorrows. Besides, baseball season starts tomorrow!

Old Sport Shorts: Blown IU-tunity #877

March 14, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Since the inception of the Big Ten post-season conference tournament in 1998, Indiana Hoosier basketball is a dismal 12-22. Only Northwestern has a poorer record at 9-22. Ohio State, the football school, leads the overall conference standings at 26-14. They still have a chance to add to that distinction after beating Indiana again today and forcing them out of prime post-season. To make matters worse, the I.U. Hoosiers, once a prominent basketball program, has failed to win the tournament 22 consecutive times. Only in 2001 did they make it to the final game, losing against Iowa 63-61 under interim Coach Mike Davis, once Bob Knight was fired in September. Then they went on to lose in the First Round of the NCAA Tourney against Kent State and finished the season at 21-13. The very next year Davis guided them to an NCAA Championship game against Maryland. The ironic thing is that Maryland eventually became a BIG Ten school, so I guess you could say they lost two BIG tournaments in the same year, because Iowa also beat them in the Second Round of the official conference tournament. In 2013, I.U. won the BIG conference regular season championship, but Wisconsin got in the way in the tournament. It’s a disappointing track record after the glory years of 5 National Championships.

Even more controversial is the fact that Iowa was coached in both conference tournament losses by former I.U. star Steve Alford. Plus, the 2002 tournament was played in Indianapolis, Indiana that probably should have given the home-state Hoosiers an advantage. Coach Davis was eventually replaced in 2006 by Kelvin Sampson who managed his way to NCAA probation for recruitment violations. Coach Tom Crean tried to right the ship but last year Archie Miller got the nod. This string of coaching adjustments after the Bob Knight era accounts for all 22 failures in the conference post-season. 22 Blown Opportunities!

Coach Knight did not have a conference tournament to deal with, and I believe had fought the idea for several years. He did win the Big Ten eleven times and was Coach of the Year eight times. There was also that remarkable string of consecutive victories. I.U. lost to Michigan in a 1973 playoff game to break a regular season tie, but went on from there to go undefeated two consecutive regular seasons before losing to Purdue in 1977. Thirty-Six straight Big Ten Conference wins, long before it was re-branded BIG with more teams. This year we lost 7 straight conference games, followed by an additional 5 straight and then finished with a blown opportunity. Fittingly, we’ll probably end up playing another Big Ten squad in the unheralded NIT or “Not In Tournament” like Penn State that won it last year. Just another reason for my Purdue friends to make fun of me.

After all the disappointment this year, there was a temporary spark of life, as if the Basketball Gods had flipped a switch. An I.U. team that was in my opinion one of the “worst shooting” clubs I’ve ever seen on the court suddenly began to cut down on turnovers and consequently won four straight to close the regular season. They looked like an entirely different team. With double wins over Co-Champ Michigan State, an overtime victory against Wisconsin, and “Quad 1” upsets of Marquette and Louisville, they were gaining momentum for an NCAA Tournament bid. Just one more BIG win over Ohio State would have probably clinched it. Instead, they fell flat on their faces. “One and Done” Romeo Langford had just 9 and two critical turnovers. Team leader Juwan Morgan could produce only twelve points and seven rebounds, both well below his average. They somehow found themselves relying on Devonte Green’s career-high 26 even despite 4 painful turnovers, and graduate transfer Evan Fitzner’s 8, while De’Ron Davis and Al Durham contributed just nine each. It was not a clutch team performance when the Hoosiers really needed one. A Blown Opportunity!

After setting the table with the late-season rally for an NCAA meal, all they’ll get are NIT scraps. Langford probably won’t play so as to not damage his NBA prospects in meaningless competition. Morgan may do the same. This would really taint an already tarnished season that finished in an unfulfilled comeback flurry that could have been avoided by not falling so far behind. They resorted to alley-ball rather than teamwork, and became the 17-turnover machine that plagued them all of last year and most of this season. Plus, they were only 10-15 from the free throw line, while the more muscular Buckeyes were 15-18. I.U. lost 79-75. Five more free throws and they might have pulled out an undeserved victory! It was a BIG letdown on a BIG day – a whimper when they needed a roar. A “Blown Opportunity” that could have saved their I.U. legacy and perhaps launched themselves into greatness.

As a side note, it’s hard to believe that Romeo Langford’s NBA stock continues to stay strong. He’s proven over and over again that he’s not a clutch player. (See Post #850). He needs a couple more years of college (but most likely D-League) to develop his shooting skills. He fell asleep in some critical situations when his teammates needed him most in this “must-win” game. Sorry, Romeo, but despite my anger I still do wish the very best for you. It was not an appropriate way for the former “Mr. Basketball” to end his time at I.U. It was, in fact, a “Blown Hoosier-tunity.”

Old Sport Shorts: Glory of Old I.U. #868

March 7, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

I know I’ve written a lot of discouraging words about the Indiana basketball program this year. I’m admittedly so spoiled after years of success, and can never remember a year like this one. Just two weeks ago, I had taken to poetry in an attempt to defuse my emotions. (See Post #848). Tonight I’m eating crow after three consecutive victories. I even called them, “the worst shooting team in recent memory.” After all, they had just lost to both Purdue and Iowa once again and stood a pathetic 4-12 in the BIG Conference. I was frustrated, disappointed and embarrassed, having cursed Romeo Langford and Juwan Morgan for rushing off to the NBA without preforming up to their potential this last year of wearing the Cream & Crimson stripes.

I have to admit that I was mildly hopeful that they would finally rebound against Michigan State and Wisconsin, two schools that had historically proven to be our greatest nemesis. When all was said and done, not only did we beat the Badgers in double overtime, but we also doubled-up on the Spartans. Honestly, the first time we beat “Sparty” in East Lansing, I thought we had turned the corner on a sad season, but instead we fell flat on our faces at home against Iowa. Then it only got worse in blowout losses to Ohio State and Minnesota. At least, when the Boilers and Hawkeyes finally came to town, these were winnable games that turned into really bitter fourth and fifth consecutive defeats. Even though we then suddenly showed signs of greatness and beat two top-ranked teams, I was never confident that I.U. could pull-off a third straight victory at Illinois.

Now, all I want to do is sing the fight song after watching the “daily double.” The I.U. women’s team and Ali Patberg looked stellar in a tourney victory over Minnesota this afternoon. Tonight, the win over Illinois was the men’s team most convincing all-around effort this season. Shooting was a consistent 60% throughout the game! Rob Phinisee showed flashes of Isiah Thomas, while Langford, Morgan, Green and Davis made me proud. Our overall record is now finally over .500 including 7 BIG Ten victories, and remarkably with one more win against Rutgers the Hoosiers might be looking at an NCAA bid. They still have a chance to finish 8th in the conference that was sadly my pessimistic prediction going into the year. The “Glory of Old I.U.” has been temporarily restored.

Indiana, Our Indiana

Indiana’s most recognized fight song, “Indiana, Our Indiana,” was first performed by the IU Band in November, 1912 at a football game against Northwestern. The song has since been played at every Indiana football and basketball game.

Indiana, Our Indiana
Indiana, we’re all for you
We will fight for
the Cream & Crimson,
For the glory of Old IU
Never daunted, we cannot falter
In the battle, we’re tried and true
Indiana, Our Indiana
Indiana, we’re all for you!

Words by Russell P. Harker, Melody taken from “The Viking March”, by Karl L. King

Go Hoosiers!

Retirement is not without Hassles: Bucket Battle #867

March 7, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

When you have a bucket list, you also need a bucket of money to go with it. To get to the places you want to go it takes both time and money. Retirement guarantees that you have a lot of time on your hands, but that bucket of money often develops leaks. On the other hand, your bucket list tends to grow as you begin to explore new places, so you might need a bigger bucket to hold your dreams. Life in its simplest form is nothing more than a “Bucket Battle.”

Those of us from Indiana know the true significance of “The Bucket.” More specifically, the Old Oaken Bucket. It’s the prize the winning team receives when Indiana University and Purdue University play football every fall. The coveted traveling trophy was first awarded in 1925. The actual bucket was found on the Bruner family farm between Kent and Hanover in southern Indiana. An “I” or “P” is attached to its chain each year in honor of the victor. However, the inaugural battle ended in a tie, so an “I-P” link was added. My mom had a miniature replica of this trophy that she passed along to me.

The Old Oaken Bucket
By: Samuel Woodworth (1784–1842)

HOW dear to this heart are the scenes of my childhood,
When fond recollection presents them to view!
The orchard, the meadow, the deep-tangled wildwood,
And every loved spot which my infancy knew;
The wide-spreading pond and the mill which stood by it,
The bridge, and the rock where the cataract fell;
The cot of my father, the dairy-house nigh it,
And e’en the rude bucket which hung in the well,—
The old oaken bucket, the iron-bound bucket,
The moss-covered bucket which hung in the well.

That moss-covered vessel I hail as a treasure;
For often, at noon, when returned from the field,
I found it the source of an exquisite pleasure,
The purest and sweetest that nature can yield.
How ardent I seized it, with hands that were glowing!
And quick to the white-pebbled bottom it fell;
Then soon, with the emblem of truth overflowing,
And dripping with coolness, it rose from the well;—
The old oaken bucket, the iron-bound bucket,
The moss-covered bucket, arose from the well.

How sweet from the green mossy brim to receive it,
As, poised on the curb, it inclined to my lips!
Not a full blushing goblet could tempt me to leave it,
Though filled with the nectar that Jupiter sips.
And now, far removed from the loved situation,
The tear of regret will intrusively swell,
As fancy reverts to my father’s plantation,
And sighs for the bucket which hangs in the well;
The old oaken bucket, the iron-bound bucket,
The moss-covered bucket which hangs in the well.

As the poem describes, the bucket was how we once retrieved life-giving fresh water, as opposed to just turning on the tap. The “green mossy” references do not exactly sound appetizing. It was also made into a song that only Hoosiers like myself would recognize. The poem was written 8 years before the Old Oaken Bucket became a football trophy and long before making a “bucket list” was considered to be a positive exercise.

“Kicking the bucket” was once a common phrase in reference to death. The “bucket list” therefore originally meant a list of things to do before dying. There was a popular 2007 movie starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson called “The Bucket List” that perhaps inspired each of us to make one. However, to fulfill your list, you need to be constantly filling a real bucket with cash in the form of an IRA. The real life “battle,” as opposed to just a game, is how many buckets do you need to fill before you retire, and how do you keep them from leaking?

Old Sport Shorts: Double Spartan Burger with Extra Cheese #859

March 2, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

I had a cheeseburger to celebrate the I.U. basketball victory over BIG conference the rival Wisconsin “Cheeseheads.” This was after quality wins over Marquette, Louisville, and Michigan State, despite a bizarre season of repeated disappointment. How can they only win games against some of the best teams in the country and somehow not show up for the spoils? I threatened to order a “Double Spartan Burger with Extra Cheese” if they could pull-off a second upset against the Spartans – this time at home in Bloomington. So, where can I get a “Spartan Burger?”

Come to find out there is a Spartans Burger franchise in Huntington Park, California, plus a Spartan Drive-In located in Stanwood, Washington. Coincidentally, there is also The Spartan – Burger and Souvlaki Bar in Phuket, Thailand, our destination three weeks from now. Hopefully, the sweet taste of victory will not be replaced with the bitterness of defeat in the meantime. This Hoosier victory over Michigan State is an important stepping-stone to the NCAA Tournament that just a week ago was an impossibility. All they have to do is now beat two of the worst teams in the BIG conference and win their first game in the BIG Ten tournament. Mission Impossible is now more than just a dream.

This year’s I.U. team is one of the worst shooting teams in memory. Fortunately, my memory isn’t very good. To support my lack of confidence is the fact that today they were a miserable 37.7% from the field, 37.5% from three-point range, and a pathetic 61.5% from the free throw line, yet still managed to defend the Spartans from scoring the winning bucket. By comparison, M.S.U. percentages were a far superior 54.2, 40, and 80 respectively. A month ago in East Lansing, the victorious Hoosiers were a comparable 38.9% from the floor and only slightly better from the charity stripe and behind the arc. In the meantime, they then managed to also beat ranked Wisconsin but couldn’t outscore Iowa (twice), Ohio State, Minnesota, or Purdue (twice). My Cream & Crimson have barely beaten Northwestern, Penn State, and Illinois, each poised dangerously to finish last in the pack, to account for their only other conference victories and an unacceptable 6-12 record.

In-state rival Purdue now sits on top of the BIG conference at an impressive 15-3 to make matters even worse. Indiana has to beat Illinois (6-11) for the second time and then even their record against Rutgers (7-11) to regain any committee respect. This year’s BIG Tournament is contested in Chicago, and they’ll have one more chance to beat a bottom division team before perhaps facing Purdue (a much desired opportunity) or revenge-minded foes Wisconsin and Michigan State. It’s been a tough season and it certainly doesn’t get any easier. March Madness has finally begun after months of angry disappointment, offset by only two “Cheeseburger” treats.

Old Sport Shorts: Double Cheese Please #855

February 28, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

It’s been a tough decade for Indiana University basketball. Spoiled fans like me aren’t easy to please. Teams like Michigan State and Wisconsin have dominated on the Big Ten courts, especially in games against my team. This season has been particularly difficult, but oddly not because of these traditional nemeses. The Hoosiers are 2-0 against the Spartans and Badgers, with at least one last battle yet to come.

I’ve already written about how difficult it’s been to win in East Lansing, dating back to the construction of seemly impenetrable Breslin Center. (See Post #829). The victory over “Sparty” this year was monumental and appeared as if it might be the beginning of salvation for the struggling Hoosier team. It was if a huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders, as this group of young men had been able to somehow accomplish what even the great ones couldn’t – a win at Breslin. It was indeed a proud day.

Unfortunately, the sweet smell of success soon turned sour again with five more consecutive losses, and Wisconsin viciously knocking at our Assembly Hall door. Just for the record, before tip-off, Indiana did lead the all-time series against the Badger Cheese Heads 95-74, while Wisconsin held just a 28-53 record when playing in Bloomington. However, the Cheddar’s had also won five straight against the Cream and Crimson since late January 2016 and 19 of the past 21 meetings dating back to Jan. 31, 2008. Even cheeseburgers have not tasted good for I.U. fans in some time!

Michigan State, on the other hand, simply hit a rough spot on the schedule, registering all three of their total BIG losses in a short 9-day span to Purdue, Indiana, and Illinois respectively. Lowly I.U. has remarkably recorded the only home court loss for the Spartans this year. Michigan State then easily rebounded with 5 straight victories, including wins at Wisconsin and Michigan. They can extract some revenge on the unpredictable Hoosiers this week by returning the home-court disfavor.

After briefly bathing in the limelight of this “Top Ten” road victory over Michigan State, the sole positive in a 13-game Hoosier slide, it would be unbelievable for I.U. to double-up on the Spartans this year! As a reminder, “Sparty” did lose to Louisville earlier this year, another of Indiana’s surprising non-conference victories over a ranked team. Add Marquette and now Wisconsin to the mix and this gives the bottom-dwelling conference Hoosiers four tourney-quality wins against ranked opponents. Would a double Spartan victory ultimately turn some more heads of the NCAA selection committee?

I.U. lost heart-breakers to Iowa in overtime, and to Purdue on a last-second tip. This has been the norm as to how the ball has bounced for the Hoosiers this year. It was long-overdue good fortune that led them to the double-overtime Wisconsin win. The Cheeseheads apparently caught the same shooting disorder that has plagued I.U. all year. Granted, that’s a mere 3 victories in the last 22, but saying to my restaurant server, regarding the next hamburger order, “double cheese please” will sure feel good. Oh, and by the way, a “Double Spartan Burger with cheese” just might be served this weekend.

Old Sport Shorts: Mr. Clutch #850

February 23, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Top draft choices need to be clutch – “Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?” Mr. Basketball, Mr. BIG Ten Freshman of the Year? Mr. NBA Top Ten projected draft choice, but still no signs of Mr. Clutch during his first and only season of I.U. Basketball. For example, last night against Iowa he missed the potential game winner and failed to score in overtime. He did score 14 points but made his final shot with 10:27 left in regulation. That’s no points in over 15 minutes with only an assist, turnover, and two fouls to show for his efforts. We were looking for a savior, but gotten a bit of a dud.

Langford’s play was about the same in the loss against Purdue earlier this week. Despite being the leading I.U. scorer with 14, he missed a key free throw with 23 seconds left that allowed Matt Haarms from Purdue to win the game with a lucky tip-in. He did make both free throws with 2:32 remaining to make up for two turnovers and a foul, plus another one-and-one with 13:36 on the clock. No other shots that he launched fell in the second half. His final bucket of the game came with 21 seconds left in the first half, and 9 of his 14 total points came from the free throw line. Sadly, the only one he missed was in the clutch. He seems to disappear at the end of the game. Are NBA scouts paying attention?

Romeo had ten points against Minnesota, but did not score in the last four minutes of the game or in the first 13:34 of the 2nd half. To make matters worse, he didn’t score in the last 9:25 of the first half, despite 10 points overall in this miserable rout. Should I go on? He did hit a three with 19 seconds left in the first Iowa match-up but then missed one, although it would have made no difference in the loss. Overall, he had 22 points, and 15 were during the second half, but we once again fell short. The big win was at Michigan State, where he once again led the Hoosiers. He did, however, miss the game winner, managed only a three in overtime, and was not a factor in the last 3:13 of the game. I.U. somehow managed to win as De’Ron Davis did the clutch work. Our hobbling Hoosiers were coming off a loss to Rutgers, where we allowed them 22 straight points. Langford did hit a three to keep us in the game with a minute left after only a couple of free throws in the last 6 minutes. He once again led Indiana with 20 points, despite not scoring in the last 11:56. He also didn’t score in the first half against Michigan – another bad loss – or in the first four minutes, his only basket in the entire first half.

These are some of nightmares that led me to write my recent poem. (See Post #848), as Indiana basketball continues to struggle with leadership. 12 losses in the last 13 Big Ten games have taken us out of any post season consideration, and have resulted in a losing record. Coach Archie Miller is feeling the heat, fans like me are angry, but Romeo Langford will soon be a millionaire in the NBA. He won’t have to worry about getting injured in the NCAA Tournament like Zion Williamson, and he’ll leave me with a sour taste in my mouth for I.U. basketball recruiting. Is there a Mr. Clutch out there that can help us restore “The glory of old I.U.?”

Old Sport Shorts: Basketball Nightmare #848

February 21, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

I was raised a Hoosier basketball fan and had little choice in the matter. Both of my parents went to I.U., met there and got married. While they were in school, I.U. won their first National Championship. The year I was born they won it again, so it was all I.U. merchandise for Christmas. There are many photos of my in I.U. gear at an early age. I tried to break the family mold by going to Albion College, but soon transferred to Bloomington and the main Indiana University campus.

I eat, sleep, and drink I.U. basketball. It can make or ruin any day. I’ve watched them in person win two National Championships and lose in one Final Four. I followed them on TV for another National Championship banner and just when I thought they were invincible in the final game I found out they weren’t. Through the years, I’ve invested a lot of my time and sweat equity into the program. I’ve also sat in the stands twice in Maui to watch them play, so I can say I’ve stalked them to the corners of the earth.

The last 20 years have been tough. The teams have been hard to watch and success has waned. Coaches have come and gone in conjunction with embarrassment, cruelty, and cheating. I often have to leave the room if they are playing on TV, although a simple victory still lifts my spirits. Unfortunately, there have been too many losses.

There was a surge of hope with Coach Archie Miller and the recruitment of Indiana Mr. Basketball Romeo Langford. Everything looked promising on paper, but in reality the team chemistry is as bad as I’ve ever seen. They simply can’t shoot and scoring output in the 40’s have been norm of late. They somehow beat Michigan State in East Lansing (See Post #829) to end a losing skid, but then quickly started another one. Poor fundamentals and inexcusably inaccurate free-throw shooting have added to their consistent inability to hit big shots in the BIG Conference. The were blown out by in-state rival Purdue in West Lafayette, but had a chance to beat them in Bloomington. Predictably, they missed the last shot. To curb my growing frustrations, I wrote this “humorous” poem, rather than scream.

Nightmare On Hoosier Street

It’s a basketball nightmare,
We can’t hit a shot.
Not a single player,
Can find their sweet spot.

It looks so easy,
When other teams play.
But we can’t seem to click,
On any given day.

We miss underneath,
And can’t hit a three.
We don’t make a bucket,
Even if it’s “Free.”

There’s a lid on our rim,
And a hole in my heart.
For a win at the buzzer,
Bring back Keith Smart.

Do the players need glasses?
Or more practice time?
To lose at I.U.’s,
An unforgivable crime.

When you wear the stripes,
Of Crimson and Cream.
March Madness,
Should be more than a dream.

You’ve played all your life,
Hours in the gym.
It’s the same old ten feet,
From the floor to the rim.

Please wake me up,
Tell me it’s not real.
To play for the Hoosiers,
Should be a big deal.

My wife tries to tell me,
It’s only a game.
But when you can’t score,
It’s more than a shame.

Where’s the fundamentals?
Hold on to the ball.
Why don’t our attempts,
Ever seem to fall?

It’s not a peach basket,
But nothing goes through.
Percentages show,
We’re long overdue.

It’s called a net,
And not in a knot.
It makes a “swoosh,”
When you hit the shot.

Instead it’s a “clang,”
Or an “Air Ball.”
That just shouldn’t happen,
At Assembly Hall.

It can’t be the coach,
When you’re 00h for ten.
Then somehow you manage,
To miss once again.

I try to wake up,
But my team is cursed.
To make it even worse,
Purdue is tied for first.

Old Sport Shorts: Lunar Loser #814

January 21, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

There was a full, blood-wolf moon, plus a lunar eclipse, so it was not going to be an ordinary weekend of sports. It started with an Indiana University Alumni Association game-watch at a local tavern featuring one of the most intense rivalries in college basketball. This was the 208th battle between the Indiana Hoosiers and the Purdue Boilermakers. Purdue had won a dominant 118 of these in-state basketball wars, including 51 of the first 62 games, but Indiana boasts 5 National Championships in 39 NCAA Tournament appearances. Make that 119 victories for the Boilers!

There was little doubt from the tip-off that Purdue was the better team. Indiana has been notorious for their slow starts this year, and this game was no exception. One beer was not going to be enough. It was also obvious that fellow alumni held little hope for the Hoosiers since only a few showed up to watch. Those in attendance had fond memories of a last second shot to beat Butler a month ago when the team appeared to come together, moved into the Top 25 nationally, and won their first three BIG Ten contests. However, injuries and poor shooting have prevailed, as we sadly watched their fourth straight conference loss in front of an exuberant Boilermaker fan base. Admittedly, I didn’t have a good feeling about the game and considered not even wearing any Indiana gear in case Purdue fans were also in the bar.

Even a crimson moon could not prevent the Hoosiers from shooting a pathetic 7-18 from the free throw line and 4-20 from behind the arc. While that could be blamed on “gravitational pull,” a Purdue “friend” pointed out that this was actually an improvement over last week’s loss to Nebraska when they shot a pitiful 2-14 at home! Indeed, the rare home loss was even more humiliating, especially to a football school. I just hope we get it together before the Boilers come calling next month in Bloomington. Indiana has already lost 4 straight battles with Purdue, meaning that last year’s team couldn’t hold home court advantage. There will be no Alumni game watch for no one to attend because it’s scheduled for a Tuesday night.

I was in atypical agreement with my Purdue friends on football this weekend, with the Superbowl on the line. Ex-Purdue quarterback Drew Brees and his New Orleans Saints were an easy choice for us to make, while rooting against Tom Brady and his New England Patriots was a given. We were wrong on both counts! Brady was once again brilliant, and the Saints got screwed, as admitted by everyone involved. Both games went to overtime, but the Rams and Patriots prevailed. Most all of America will be rooting for the Rams in two weeks!

Yes, I was a Lunar Loser, going 0-3 this weekend with my favorites. However, I really only truly cared about one of these games. The round ball is my passion and I.U. is my team. I was hoping that the round, red moon would be a good omen. Instead, the Hoosier Nation was totally “eclipsed” by Boilermaker Black once again.