Here we are, situated in Tucson, Arizona, feeling the aura of “The Wild, Wild West.” In fact, I woke up singing the theme song of the Quick Draw McGraw Show, a childhood cartoon favorite tucked away deeply in my memory bank:

“Yipee yi-o ki-a
Galloping all the way
Great big star on his chest
Outdraws all of the rest
Fastest gun in the west”

“Yipee yi-o ki-a
Riding around your way
Here comes Quick Draw McGraw
The high-falutin’est
Fastest shootin’est
Cowboy you ever saw
That’s Quick Draw McGraw”

Tombstone and The OK Corral are just down the road a piece, but probably too touristy for our tastes.  I hadn’t even thought of the show in years, but for some reason with the mountains and cacti in the forefront, it was top of mind this morning. Wikipedia, my favorite reference source, gave this description: Quick Draw was usually depicted as a sheriff in a series of short films set in the Old West. Quick Draw was often accompanied by his deputy, a Mexican burro called Baba Looey (also voiced by Daws Butler), who spoke English with a Mexican accent and called his partner “Queeks Draw”. I was also reminded of Snuffles, the bloodhound dog that would point to his mouth and “ah-ah-ah-” when he wanted a biscuit, then hug himself, leap up in the air, and float back down after having eaten one. I often feel that way after a good meal. 

We’ve had several good feasts on this trip, including Dickie’s BBQ, The Arrogant Butcher, a gourmet surprise from some long-lost Indianapolis friends, and some home-cooked sit-downs from our current Arizona hosts. We brought a case of wine along to reciprocate and to drown the sorrows of Coronavirus, plus the cancellation of Spring Training and the NCAA Tournament. Today would have been Selection Sunday, but instead it’s a Stay-At-Home-Sabbath. Tomorrow, we may go to to the Biosphere 2 or do some shopping in quaint Tubac, but it certainly won’t include a Wild West Show. A little douse of Quick Draw McGraw is apparently the distraction I needed to add a little cheer to the dire World health circumstances that surround us. 

“In certain cases, Quick Draw would also assume the identity of the masked vigilante El Kabong (a spoof of Zorro). His introduction went as follows – “Of all the heroes in legend and song, there’s none as brave as El Kabong”. As El Kabong, Quick Draw would attack his foes by swooping down on a rope with the war cry “OLÉ!” and hitting them on the head with an acoustic guitar (after shouting “KABOOOOOONG!”).”

Now…That’s Entertainment! 

Yesterday it was lyrics from the Rolling Stones (See Post #1249)…today The Beatles: 

“Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help”

Will retirement comfort be squashed by a virus? When March Madness is canceled, that’s the end of the world as far as I’m concerned. I saw my final I.U. basketball game of the year last night – a victory over an under-manned Nebraska team, with hopes of finally returning to the invitation-only Big Dance. Unfortunately, the rest of the BIG tourney was cancelled this morning, with the entire NCAA tournament surely to be next. This will trigger more instability with the Stock Market and drastically affect everyone’s life savings. The question remains as to how this will change our retirement plans? Help!

Will this trip to Phoenix this morning be our last retirement adventure for awhile? Will Spring Training games, the main reason for traveling, be canceled by the time we get there? The Oregon State baseball team was at the airport this morning with expectations of at least playing in Tucson without fans in the stands. Certainly, their games will be fully postponed by the time they arrive, following the NCAA precedence with regard to basketball. They don’t want to risk putting their student-athletes at risk, but what about Major League Baseball? Will the Player’s Union support a revenue shut-down? Yes, it’s true! Help!

Major companies are losing big dollars because of the virus-panic, whether the threat is justifiable or not. For example, the NCAA reportedly gets 80% of its revenue from the tourney. As a veteran of the TV business, although many people will be stuck at home in front of their big screens, there may be no live sports to watch, impacting advertising spending and incomes. I’m glad to be on the workforce sidelines and not have to deal with the decisions involved. Selfishly, our hard-earned nest-egg is sadly at risk, along with retirement security. These silly games are just the tip of the iceberg. Are we the Titanic or the Unsinkable Molly Brown? Help!

Travel Insurance companies must be going crazy. Airlines, Cruises, Rail providers, Ticket brokers, Travel Agencies, Restaurants, and Hotels, to mention a few, are pulling their hair out with cancellations, refunds, and frustrated patrons. Everything that draws a crowd is shutting down. I’m starting to feel guilty about leaving home, but wonder if retreating is really the answer? We can catch or potentially spread this just as easily in our apartment building as on an airplane, especially considering we no longer have the safety of an isolated private home. I do, however, reluctantly understand the logic of limiting exposure by avoiding crowds. At least, we’re supporting our now struggling economy. Help!

An indoor rainstorm, a walk-through chandelier, cube-shaped TV’s, the Bellagio East Chapel where we got married, Pete Rose in a casino signing autographs, sushi rolls in Paris, playing 10 hands of poker at the same time, and a 76-year old man still belting out the hits were just a few of the Vegas highlights that I had yet to write about. It Valentine’s Eve, sometimes referred to as “Galentine’s Day,” when single women celebrate the occasion. For my wife and I, it’s a date with Barry Manilow, soon to turn 77 years young. His home stage is the Westgate Resort and Casino where we’re staying, so how could we miss the opportunity to see him. We tried to see 93-year old Tony Bennett, another Vegas legend, in a Portland concert last year but he cancelled. These are guys that make me feel young, even though they are doing a lot more at this stage of life than I am. 

I saw the Neville Brothers here in Vegas a few decades back and Barry Manilow 25 years ago, both as part of conventions in the television industry. The Who and their song “Who are You” launched the CBS-TV hit, CSI – Crime Scene investigation Las Vegas, at the Bellagio in 2000. They performed a private concert and stayed for a reception. The cast of Mamma Mia were musical guests a couple of years later. This was the extent of my exposure to Vegas convention music, once I moved to an NBC affiliate who held their annual meetings in New York City. Tonight will be the first time that I’ve actually paid to see a concert here in Las Vegas.  

The New York City affairs were primarily dinners and meetings, not the glitz of Las Vegas. I did, however, continue to benefit from free tickets for concerts and sporting events as part of entertaining clients through the years. We always had a suite and/or great seats for virtually anything that came to town. This dates back to even the radio business where free tickets were always available and spoiled me for life. Here I am in retirement with less income and no ticket connections. Sadly, I have to pay for my seats now, starting with Barry Manilow! 

The weather has been cool here in Las Vegas, but at least there’s been no rain and plenty of sunshine. The “things I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have time for” tour of the city continues. I’ve traditionally spent 3 or 4 days here but never a full week. It’s allowed time for the Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, Cirque, Sky Walk, Mob Museum, Brilliant, Neon Boneyard, Sports Book, Titanic Artifacts, and the Fremont Street Experience. I’ve also lost a lot more more playing slot machines, and spent huge dollars on fine dining. Today is our last full day to experience The Strip and add to the list of tireless “free” entertainment that we’ve enjoyed like the Bellagio fountain, Mirage volcano, Hershey samples, glitzy signs, street shows, and people watching. We also never get tired of walking through the massive themed hotels and noisy casinos. 

My wife and I both preferred Beatles Love over Michael Jackson’s ONE and “O,” comparing the three main Cirque du Soleil performances we’ve seen through the years. Zumanity and KA’ are not of interest to either of us. My wife is disappointed that the Broadway performances are no longer an entertainment option for some reason. We’ve seen Mamma Mia and Avenue Q here in the past for example. We’re also surprised that Disney doesn’t have a presence, as Vegas has become more family-friendly in recent years. The crowds seem to be down a bit this week, partly due to the Coronavirus that has halted travel from China. Valentine’s weekend should be busy, as we make our timely exit back to Portland. 

We’ve had six fabulous nights of Valentine dinners, including Bouchon, Joel Robuchon’s L’Atelier, Trevi, Hugo’s Cellar, Joe’s Stone Crab, and tonight at Edge Steakhouse. Plus, lunches at Wolfgang Puck, Sky View overlooking the Grand Canyon, Bonanno’s Pizza, and a liquid snack in Eataly. It’s a good thing we’ve burned off lots of calories walking around, although the moving sidewalks and monorail have saved lots of steps. This afternoon I think we’ll go to Paris and the Eiffel  Tower, following yesterday’s preview of our upcoming Egypt trip at the Luxor. We’ve already covered the MGM “yellow brick road,” New York – New York, Mandalay Bay, the Venetian canals, Treasure Island, castles, palaces, and all points in-between. Before we leave, I would like to go back to Circus-Circus as a reminder of my first visits to Las Vegas, on a much smaller budget. The Westward Ho next door where we actually stayed was torn down 14 years ago. Forty years ago I remember the free high-flying circus acts in the Circus-Circus Big-Top, long before there ever was Cirque-Cirque-and more Cirque.  

We spent a lot of time on our feet yesterday. I, of course, started with a 3.1 mile run, as I do everyday. We then sat through a useless timeshare presentation and toured a couple of condos here at the Westgate Resort and Casino as part of the Interval International exchange program. In the future, we’ll either stay at the Bellagio, where we got married, or the Marriott Grand Chateau, as part of our Vacation Club. They both have far superior accommodations and better locations, but fulfilled our obligation to our friendly, personal concierge, Guy. We did get another case of water and a $100 credit voucher for wasting our time with him and his pushy bosses. I vow to never get trapped in another presentation, regardless of the circumstances. 

We spent the afternoon and evening in Downtown Las Vegas. Our first stop was the Mob Museum that provided an interesting history of the city and the development of the casinos. It was then a short walk to the Neon Boneyard where all the old, rusty signs are on display. Many of them have been restored and some still work. The largest of those still working is the Hard Rock guitar that can be seen from the street. There was also artist Tim Burton’s fascinating exhibit Lost Vegas that includes several neon and character designs. In addition, we bought tickets for Brilliant, where the old signs are brought back to life through music and video projection. It was like a trip down memory lane from 50 years ago when I first visited the city.

The Fremont Street Experience was our next stop, as our feet began to ache. I’ve averaged about 24,000 steps a day since arriving 5 days ago (thanks in part to Advil), despite sitting (or more like stiffening-up) in the car for at least 7 hours on our round-trip to the Grand Canyon. We’ve covered all the sights that you rarely have time to do in typical 3-day stay. We’ve also managed to stay busy even though we were somewhat dreading a full week here. Instead, we’ve had time for the pool, pricey dining every night, Michael Jackson’s ONE at Mandalay Bay, the Bellagio Fountains & Wedding Chapel, unproductive gambling, the monorail, Westgate Sports Book, sleeping-in late (at least my wife), and lots of walking. Last night’s dinner was at Hugo’s Cellar directly below the Four Queens. It was a step-back-in-time with the continuing tradition of a rose for every lady. I was last there about 30 years ago. Prior to dinner, we watched the overhead video show and zip-liners. I also played video poker and hit “Four Queens” in the Four Queens casino. It was a small concession for previous and eventual losses. 

Today, it’s the Titanic artifact exhibit at the Luxor in the afternoon and Joe’s Stone Crab at Caesar’s Palace for dinner. Our last night will include Edge Steakhouse and the Barry Manilow’s concert, both here at the Westgate. I can tell our time here is growing short because my medication and underwear are running low. We’ll undoubtedly be back again next year at a different location for a shorter stay to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. “Viva Las Vegas!”

It reminded me of my working days, setting an alarm for an early morning run and catching an Uber. We then met a shuttle guide at the Wynn for the one-day Grand Canyon tour. It was my wife’s first trip to the rim, a bucket-list adventure for her. On the other hand, I’ve been to the Grand Canyon on two other occasions, including a stop at the Hoover Dam. Both of those excursions were at least 25 years ago, before they built the massive bridge in honor of Mike O’Callighan and Pat Tillman. It’s now a “dam good” observation point and a nice break on the long drive from Las Vegas. We also passed through a corner of The Joshua Tree National Park and stopped at a gift shop in Dolan Springs before arriving at the West End viewpoints.

My legs were shaking as I stepped-on the glass-bottomed Sky Walk, overlooking the snake-like Colorado River. The older I get – the more afraid of heights I seem to become! I felt a bit light-headed as the photographer documented our walk around the semi-circle. He tried to get me to relax but you could clearly see the fear in my eyes during the “fun” poses that he suggested, to sell us some souvenir pictures. The Sky Walk was commissioned and still owned by the Hualapai Indian tribe. “The People of the Tall Pines,“ as it translates make, their money through tourism not gambling, although my sky walk steps seemed every bit a gamble.

I’ve somehow gotten through the NYC observation decks, Space Needle, Sears Tower, helicopter & hot air balloon rides, para-sailing, and even zip-lining. However, there was something particularly unsettling about walking on glass over a seemingly bottomless pit. I paid $27 to torture myself and another $16 for the photo reminder. I suppose I could have chickened out, but I’m obviously a glutton for punishment. I marveled at how men at one time would dangle from cables to collect guano droppings. Holy sh*t, Batman!

I was more than ready to make the dusty drive back to Vegas after 3 hours of trying to stay as far away as possible from the rocky cliffs, walking a wide path despite my wife’s enthusiasm. I tried my best to enjoy one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, but would have preferred to keep my eyes shut or better yet stayed on the bus. Next, she’ll have me reluctantly back on a helicopter or hot air balloon to fulfill some of her other bucket listings. The Sky Bridge was definitely not one of mine.