Category: TRAVEL (Page 45 of 45)

Home at last.  Home Sweet Home.  Most of my posts over the past couple of weeks have been about travel rather than retirement, but at least the early years of retirement are all about travel.  It’s a span in your life where you have time for adventure, whether that’s a short trip to visit family or friends or a trip to France, as was the case with us.

I was experiencing some jet lag when I woke up this morning, so writing anything was put on hold.  I did do several loads of laundry, perform some on-line banking, and go to the Chiropractor, as scheduled.  After many hours of air travel, I tend to get a bit stiff, feel bloated, and get some swelling in my ankles.  I did manage, however, to get my run in first thing.  Today, was 3,070 consecutive days, with yesterday’s miles coming at 4 a.m., just prior to departure from the boat.  I will say that running is always easier when you don’t consume a lot of wine the night before.  That was the case this morning, probably for the first time in the last two weeks.  Viva la France!

We ended up spending about $3,000 more than originally planned on this particular excursion.  Most of the trip was prepaid, as part of a retirement gift from my wife.  However, when you add in some additional excursions, a Paris museum pass plus additional admissions, tips, meals, and gifts, the credit card bills add up quickly.  It was worth it!

I felt there was just a bit too much structure to this trip.  It almost felt like work.  Flight times, daily tours, meetings about the tours, and group dinners were almost too much pressure for a retired guy like me to handle.  At least, I didn’t have to go back to the office this morning like my poor wife!  The main advantage to the river cruise was that you didn’t have to switch hotel rooms every night, but you also had to rely on bus and foot transportation to get to the sites of interest.  One of my favorite movies is “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles” with Steve Martin and John Candy.  When you add “Bus, Boat, and Blisters,” you know you’ve done some serious traveling.

I met a lot of great people on the boat, and enjoyed the company, for the most part, from all my traveling companions.  The good news about group travel is that there is usually an instigator to get you all together.  They usually have some Boy Scout or Girl Scout leadership training and some sales skills to bring everyone together.  They get the ball rolling, maybe get a travel agent to help, and brave the responsibility of assuring smooth travels for everyone.   The bad news is that it adds even more structure to your travel plans.  In our case, we traveled with nine:  The Viking Nine.  I think that I will plan my next major trip around simple sunshine and a beach chair.

Everything went remarkably smoothly on this trip, even with nine people to worry about. The weather was absolutely perfect, the main element no one can control.  As we parted company after a dozen days together, I wrote this poem to share the memories (the names have been changed to protect the innocent):

The Viking Nine

This is the story,

Of the Viking Nine.

Could our boat store,

Enough fine wine?

.

We’re all together,

Thanks to Rog and Jan.

They formulated,

The initial plan.

.

We arrived in town,

To a festive parade.

Was the President,(*1)

In a Motorcade?

.

Hotel Rochester,

For three nights.

While off to explore,

The Paris lights.

.

Are the bath towels,

The proper gauge? (*9)

Champs Elysees,

The fashion rage.

.

Morny Pizza,

Is that French food?

Careful with that,

Machine gun, dude.

.

There’s a Five Guys,(*2)

In the neighborhood.

When we speak French,

Is it understood?

.

“Let’s get some Boeuf,”

Tom suggests.

He leads the way,

While Colleen rests.

.

Not feeling well,

Cold Medicine high.

While Natalie and Sean,

Honeymoon nearby.

.

We walked around,

On our Bloody Stumps.

The cobblestone streets,

Ankle-Breaking lumps.

.

Monuments, Museums,

Sculpture and Art.

The Viking Rinda,

Will soon depart.

.

From the parking lot,

Where it was docked.

The first impression:

I was shocked.

.

A Motel 6,

My first thought.

Just what had,

We gone and bought?

.

But once aboard,

After a bottle of wine.

We all knew,

We’d be just fine!

.

The Seine beneath,

Michael our guide.

Now just sit back,

Enjoy the ride.

.

Several stops,

Along the way.

Monet’s Gardens,

A beautiful day.

.

Joan and Vincent,

Louie and Marie.

Richard and Claude,

All sites to see.  (*3)

.

Sand from Omaha,

Coca-Cola light.

Going through locks,

We fit, but tight.

.

As the walls closed in,

We needed some air.

Is that green moss,

In your hair?  (*8)

.

The King’s on his throne,

“Poop and Circumstance.”

“I see London, France,

And someone’s underpants.”  (*7)

.

Is that a Wig?

The Gold trim’s nice.

What’s on your shirt?

Is that head lice? (*4)

.

That’s really quite,

A garden bed.

And very sorry,

You lost your head.

.

Planes trains autos,

Bus, Boat, Blisters.

Jace and Jean,

The mustard sisters.

.

Sharon got to go,

But had to pay for two.

Did Captain come a callin’?”

Probably not true!

.

So the Viking Nine,

Were really ten.

And I doubt Sharon,

Will do that again.

.

A few table squabbles,

Colds and Diarrhea.  (*5)

My wife and I were mostly,

Very glad to see ya!

.

Stateroom views,

were mostly blocked.

But Alcohol,

Was fully stocked.

.

Meeting after meeting,

Tour after tour.

How much supervision,

Can we possibly endure?

.

Treated like a King,

While aboard the ship.

Now please don’t forget,

To leave a royal tip!

.

Maybe you had to be there to get the full meaning of this poem, but it seemed to be a fun way to wrap-up our adventure.  If you go back through my posts the past couple of weeks, you’ll get most of the references.  I also added some foot notes to aid explanation (*).  Special thanks to King Louis “Louie” (XIV, XV, and XVI), Queen Marie Antoinette, Joan de Arc, Claude Monet, Vincent Van Gogh, and King “Richard the Lionheart” for allowing me to abbreviate their names and titles.  After all, I’d like to keep my head!  (*3)

I was also fully grossed out about the stories of the King’s bad teeth, poor bathing habits, ceremonial toilets, wig usage, and related head lice.  We all left the Palace of Versailles scratching our heads!  (*4)

I would also like to thank Imodium and French cold medicine for assisting several of us who were weakened by long hours of travel, lack of sleep, airplane germs, and too much rich food. Special credit to the pharmacist who sold us the Imodium.  He showed great concern through his eyes and somehow managed to keep a straight face!  At least our problem was not broadcast to the rest of our tour group, as was the case of two other guests who were explaining to their tour guide about their need to find a rest room.  Unfortunately, the guide’s microphone was on and all 41 of those in our group knew they had Napoleon’s Revenge!  (*5)

New French President Emmanuel Macron, succeeded Francois Hollande on the day we arrived in France.  (*1)  A parade blocked the streets of the Champs Elysees and kept us from going across the street to Five Guys Burgers for lunch.  They do not serve wine, by the way. We had pizza instead, where they did serve wine.  (*2)

This stanza was originally left blank at the request of Tom, Colleen’s husband.  As our boat was passing through one of several locks along the route of the Seine River, she went out on the veranda of their stateroom.  The boat was very close to the wall, and he was concerned that when she turned around she might have gotten some of the gross, green moss in her hair.  She did not – I simply took poetic license!  He has the opportunity to make up his own lines in this section of the poem.  (*8)

Tom, as an extensive traveler, also judges his hotel rooms by the gauge of the towels, thickness of the soap, and water pressure in the shower.  He was disappointed both by the Hotel Rochester and the Viking Rinda.  (*9)

One last note, my wife and I attended the late-night Moulin Rouge champagne show.  It was not necessarily family friendly, with the mass display of both bare male and female breasts.  I included the reference to underpants, through a silly children’s rhyme, to honor this very French dance extravaganza.  I could be talked in to seeing it again! (*7)

I’m coming down with something, hopefully not the plague.  Too much wine probably had something to do with it, along with a lack of sleep.  A couple of my travel-mates have colds, including my wife.  I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, but rarely get sick for more than a couple of hours.  I hope this is the case today!

I ran along the same route as a week ago, when we first boarded the Viking Rinda cruise ship.  The captain and his crew sure love formal ceremonies.  In my opinion it goes just a bit over the top.  It’s like they’re concerned we’re not going to tip them properly, and need to show-off their great value!

Our final tour is the Palace and Gardens at Versailles.  We spanned several centuries of French history in a short time, after seeing the President’s house and his inauguration parade on our first day, and the very last French King’s Palace on our final full day.

Our Tour Director’s humorous perspective on the palace was that ” Louie the 14th built it, Louie the 15th lived in it, and Louie the 16th paid for it.”  I will remember these disturbing things about French Kings:  big egos, head lice, ugliness, bad teeth, silver wigs dusted with  flour, poor bathing habits, multiple mistresses, and ceremonial poops.  Also, “being on the throne” has multiple Royal meanings, and the words, “Poop and Circumstance,” come to mind.

The wealth here at Versailles was excessive, the women disrespected, and the servants plentiful.  If that’s not enough: the formal gardens were massive, the parties never-ending,  the gold trim opulent, and the bed rooms uncountable.  It’s Good to be the King!

To me, the most fascinating character in the Palace was Queen Bee Marie Antoinette, who eventually lost her head.  She supposedly had trouble conceiving a royal child, but a relative intervened after seven barren years and showed them how to do it.  With no DNA testing back then, he may have done more than just explain!

The water fountains were in full-flow, a rare sight apparently these days.  Marble, mirrors, elaborate crown molding, sculptures, and artwork abounded.  Plus, we had a tour guide that I could finally understand.  She never asked for a tip, but I gave her a good one.

It’s Good to be a Tourist!  Especially, a retired tourist!

The retirement cruise continues with a visit into Rouen.  I got my miles in this morning, stumbling over the cobblestones around the medieval town square.  I was the tempted to stop at The Joan de Arc tavern for a drink, one of many establishments capitalizing on her saintly fame.  She was only nineteen when burned at the stake, not even old enough to drink let alone run her own tavern!

A crypt in the near-by Notre Dame cathedral memorializes her accomplishments with a statue and stained glass window.  Her ashes were supposedly cast into the Seine to prevent this very type of star-worship.  Monet created at least 20 different famous paintings of this ornate church, each with a slight variation in color.  Claude and Joan are the reason so many tourists “flock” to Rouen – so do the pigeons!

The next few days we’ll be visiting cities along the English Channel.  This afternoon we’re in Honfleur, where several of the “Impressionists” got their inspiration.  It’s where the Seine meets the Channel, and features a row of six-story homes near the inlet.  The lower levels are now shops and restaurants.  The upper levels provide a clear view of marine traffic in and out of the “old dock.”

I don’t speak French and have even more trouble understanding the British accent.  Couple that with the fact that my wife thinks I need a hearing aid, and I’ve experienced some communication difficulties.  Our tour guides have primarily been French, but they speak with a British accent, so I can’t follow their chatter.  I prefer plain English.  Much to my disappointment, the English Channel turned out to be a body of water separating England and France, not a new Cable Network with French subtitles.  I’m clearly cursed with an American attitude!

Our tour guide struggles with herding us “cats.”  We’re all plugged in to his commentary, but not making adequate progress, with less than an hour to see the entire city.  Eventually, many of us drift away to tour at a faster pace.  My wife collects Limoges boxes.  She left us long before to exercise our credit cards.

Earlier, we were in Deauville, a playground for the rich, with a long beach-front and several Casinos.  There was not a Limoges box to be found.  The most intriguing point of interest was the row of changing rooms that lined the beach, each named for an American Film star.  The American Film Festival is held annually each September in this area.  Tomorrow we’ll travel to Normandy and Omaha Beach, destined to be a sobering experience.

As a result of the tour and long bus ride, I was tragically without wine for nearly 5 hours.  My low alcohol light was definitely glowing brightly as we finally got back to the boat.  Once again, we were held captive by Viking, with only a narrow  gang plank between us and the shore!

Anticipating a 6 a.m. wake-up call; food, wine, and early to bed were our top priorities.  Wine Time at last!  We then somehow got stuck listening to a boring question and answer session with our captain, and some awkward-sounding karaoke in the lounge.  Finally, after a nightcap, we were able to graciously escape to our stateroom for the night.

With the Viking Rinda docked on the edge of a parking lot, we could only see the upper level of rooms.  At first observation, it did indeed look like a small Motel 6, but once aboard it was quite spacious and even luxurious.  We’ll be excited to hear those engines eventually fire-up after a full day of getting used to the slight bobbing sensation of being stationary.

We located our room, modestly equipped with a small veranda and an even smaller bathroom.  In fact, you can sit down while shaving.  Unfortunately, I spent too much time in our Paris water closet,  feeling the effects of a stomach bug.  Apparently, the same malady has affected other members of our tour.  One couple was unaware that they were discussing a diarrhea problem within range of a guide broadcasting the conversation to the 47 people in our group.  Poops.  Oops.

Speaking of toilet humor, our fellow travelers also couldn’t stop laughing when someone in the group let out a foul explosion of gas right in front of us.  Talk about the Ugly American!  I know – all of this shouldn’t be funny following our experiences in and around the toilet.  After all, we were eventually forced to spend some of our precious euros on Imodium, and since directions of course were in French, we’re not really sure if we took too much or too little?

If you’re familiar with the phrase, “shit, shower,  and shave” to describe getting ready in the morning, you’re really going to like a river cruise.  You can honestly do all three at the same time in our tiny bathroom.  We even have a heated floor, should I have to spend another night paying homage to the porcelain god.

After some unpacking, we hopped on the Metro and headed back into Paris for the afternoon, focused on seeing two works of art that we had missed on our last trip.  Unfortunately, we went to the Rodin special exhibit at the Grande Palais, expecting to see “The Thinker.”  He was on tour when we had last visited and was not part of this 100th anniversary display either.  “Strike One!”  Also, my favorite Monet painting, “Sunrise, ” was missing from the Musee Marmottan.  Don’t worry it wasn’t stolen, just on loan to the Swiss!  “Strike Two.”  “Strike Three” might have been a near miscue in trying to make the round-trip back to Le Pecq.  We stepped on the wrong train, but caught the error just as the doors slammed shut between us.  I thought she might lose an arm or two like Venus de Milo, but no harm was done!  With the beautiful weather and unexpected treasures we’ve stumbled upon, Paris has been a “Home Run” each and every day of our stay!

Now, gentlemen (and ladies), let’s get those engines started and head up-river!  Oh, and could I have another glass of vino, s’il vous plait?

I’m on the Bus this morning headed to the Boat; the sequel to Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.  I spent all night long in the bathroom last night, with no chance of prying myself into the tiny toilette on this luxury coach.  I’m also a day behind on my posting due to the nine-hour time difference and sporadic internet service.

We have a one-hour drive to the boat dock, where we’ll be held captive by Viking for the next week of this adventure.  The good news is that we bought the unlimited drink package.

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous, but the traffic is still horrendous.  We crawl past  Cartier, Montblanc, Tiffany, and Brioni along the famous Champs Elysees.  With my stomach as upset as it is, the stopping and starting is uncomfortable.  There’s absolutely no way I could even fit in that tiny toilette!  With the heavy congestion, we could have easily walked this far much faster.

Dinner last night was magnifico!  Alain Ducasse showed off its well-earned three gold Michelin stars.  Only one of us got the menu with the prices printed, meaning they immediately had to choose who they thought would pay the bill.  Isn’t chauvinistic a french word?  I wish I hadn’t looked because each star was worth on average about $150 euro per person.

There was some concern about the tip.  Typically in France, there is no restaurant tipping.  However, you expect to see a service fee included on the bill.  Ask any waiter and they will tell you it’s not included, yet if you use a credit card there is no way to add to the bill.  This should tell you… oui – that any tip is extra and has to be paid in cash.  They were honest and kindly confirmed this with us, putting their prices more in line with New York City fare.

I judge my restaurants by the Pain.  In my opinion, The more varieties of bread they serve, the better the restaurant!  This coming from a man with questionable taste buds.  They provided at least six different breads, all cut table-side.  A slotted wooden box secured two freshly baked loaves, while the server trimmed each slice – very unique.  A large peach basket (that seemed out of sorts) was filled with homemade butter to be served on a carved wooden spoon next to the bread plate.  I ate too much bread on a sour stomach and didn’t have room for dessert.  My wife, who couldn’t see the prices, enjoyed her Langostino and the chef surprises.  She was also surprised by the bill! Bon Appetit!

After a sleepless night and a run on the treadmill, we’re now approaching downtown Paris, the most modern section of town and have passed at least six of Ray Kroc’s McDonald’s.  This is the Arc de Triomphe to Grande Arche  (Arch to Arch) section of the Champs, linking old and new Paris, eventually descending  into a very long, dark tunnel.  It’s reminiscent of yesterday’s Metro hassle, where  you just want to come up for air and get your bearings.  Paris has disappeared!

Blue sky again, as we pass out of the darkness and into a quaint, charming community with a much slower pace.  I hope to see more small French cities along the banks of the Seine.  The rest of the journey should be in sharp contrast to the high energy of the sprawling big city.

Viking River Cruises have an excellent reputation for taking good care of Seniors.I’m sure everyone on this bus feels like they are the youngest of the old.  I’ll look forward to sharing their company.  The boat has been spotted in the small town of Le Pecq.  Docked next to a parking lot, it looks like a Motel 6 as we prepare to board.  Oui…Oui…Oui!

 

 

 

 

Traveling can be a hassle.  Finding the right hotel room is right at the top of the list.  We prefer consistency whenever possible when we’re on the road.  We learned years ago, while traveling on business, to take advantage of rewards programs and eventually establish brand loyalty when it comes to hotel services.  The biggest advantage is that we typically don’t have to take the time to specify our preferences, they are already in the system when we make the reservation. It can almost seem like a home away from home.  We like Marriott Rewards, and took a giant step with them today in planning for retirement.

Travel was the number one thing that my wife and I saved for in establishing our 401K programs through work.  I have just retired and she still has about six more years of saving to do.  While she’s still earning the “big bucks.” I’m ready to start spending my “travel bucks.”  However, because of her income, every dollar that I withdraw from my IRA is really only worth about half after taxes.  It’s an issue that couples face when they don’t retire at the same time.  I have my pension and social security income that gives me some sense of contribution to our overall budget.  However, when we travel, I find myself building up credit card debt, and she will have to come to the rescue with additional money to help keep my balance in check.  Until she retires, I will therefore be faced with a false sense of paying our travel expenses.  I can act like I’m the sugar daddy by pulling out the credit card, but then she has to bail me out when the balance gets too great.

We decided to join the Marriott Vacation Club.  My wife has on many occasions stated, “he loves his Marriott points more than me.”  I do admittedly like the free rooms and upgrades, but a hotel room without her is lonely and sad.  We will take two or three major trips together each year for the next ten years and will have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars doing so.  We liked the idea of creating a family legacy, by investing in the Marriott program.  After all, we always use Marriott hotels when we travel and collect points for free travel in the process.  By the time my wife is seventy years old (ten years from now), we will simply be paying an annual maintenance fee for any travel that we or our children will do over the course of our lifetimes.  Marriott has established Vacation Clubs all over the world and operates hotels in every city we would ever want to visit.  We also have the option to stay in a vacation home, take a cruise, or do a tour.  Our only expenses in travel will be food, transportation, and entertainment (many of these included on most cruises- that we consider to be the most economical way to see the world).   When we eventually die with our memories, the investment is passed along, with only the maintenance fees to be paid by our survivors.  The way we see it, it will give each of our children the opportunity to always take one or two nice vacations every year as long as they live. and can then pass it forward, as well.

I did not like the idea of a timeshare, but I am comfortable with the flexibility of using points instead of strictly condos.  Plus, between Marriott, Starwood, and Ritz Carlton properties there are so many options available to fulfill our travel bucket lists.  They also have a connection with Viking and Alaska Cruise lines that we had already planned to incorporate in our future excursions.  These were dollars that would have simply created memories, which in and of itself is worth it, but now it can also be an investment.  It’s certainly not for everyone, but for people like us who have big appetites for travel, it may be worth looking into!

Happy Trails to you….

Throughout the content of my posts you fill find poetry and threads of information about retirement, baseball, music, and sports.  I have not yet settled on a single focus.  It’s only been a hundred days since my retirement, as I continue to experiment with the topics that are of interest to me.  I’m not yet sure what you like, since a majority of my comments are spam?  Many of you are not going to care what I do on a day-to-day basis, but writing things down gives me great pleasure.  One of my philosophy’s in life has always been “If you write it down, you do it!”  I’ve always been a list-maker and a diary-keeper.  Perhaps I have a fear of forgetting what I did yesterday.  My adopted Father had Alzheimer’s (I mentioned in an earlier post that ironically I can never remember how to spell it – so once again I had to look it up),  so he lost that precious possession that we each have – our memories.  I have concerns about the disease, but they are not genetic, since I have such limited information on my birth parents.  My wife always reminds me that life is all about creating memories, and that’s why we’re here in Maui for our anniversary.

We are just down the road from Black Rock, a point of significant history here in Maui.  Legend tells us that Kahekill (Thunderer) the last Chief of Maui, dating back to the 1700’s, proved his spiritual strength by leaping from Pu’u Keka’a into the Pacific.  Maybe it was the “kill” in his name that drove him to do this? It’s a ritual called Leie Kawa (cliff diving) continues at sunset each evening following the sound of the conch shell.   Pu’u Keka’a translates to Black Rock, the volcanic peak that is now the site of the Sheraton Inn on Maui.  There is also a Black Rock City, that exists for only a moment in time each year, that most of us know as the “Burning Man” Celebration in Nevada, part of the Black Rock Desert.  I was more familiar with “Burning Man” than “Diving Man” in Maui, so my curiosity got the best of me.

I think we’ll walk the half-mile down to the Sheraton this evening for the festivities.  It is a treacherous looking cliff of black, volcanic rock that sticks out into the Pacific.  They have actually preserved the natural rock throughout the building of the hotel.  I’m sure it was a distinct calling to the early settlers of the island.  I want to make it clear that I won’t be diving tonight!  I might have a drink as they  leave a pathway of lit torches and fling the diver’s target, a lei of flowers, into the water.  I experienced the sharpness of those rocks this afternoon, as I tip-toed into the icy waters of the Pacific.  It’s apparently only 15-18 feet at its highest point, but the prospect of landing on a sharp rock is not worth proving my spiritual strength.