I’m stuck in “Banister World” and need to get out of Indiana before I obsess about it any longer. I’m feeling troubled for the family I never knew, and respectfully grateful they were never a part of my life’s story. Obituaries tell the whole sad tale of two marriages, divorces, three boys and a girl, two dead at 33 and 42 respectively, the loss of six older brothers & sisters, and a father’s heart attack at only 62. No one should endure that much loss in a lifetime. Before all this, there was also the loss of me, if my adoption was against her wishes?

Small town America, southern Indiana, and rural life could not be farther off the path of opportunity that I’ve walked. My birth was the fork in the road, and fortunately I didn’t have to choose. I might have never gone to college, found the media business, lived in major cities like Portland and Austin, and traveled the world. From my perspective, I grew up with everything I wanted, avoided the tragic loss of loved ones, achieved career success, and am currently enjoying a comfortable retirement. I’m sure I would have been happy as a Banister and maybe could have broken the mold, but life would have been very different.

After venturing to the quiet town of Shelbyville, and learning of the move to even smaller North Vernon, then to Seymour (see more, what?), I’m ready to return to the spoils of big city life. “Banister World” may not be for me, so perhaps there’s a good reason why I haven’t gotten a response that might draw me deeper into what may very well be a darker side of life. Or, am I the “cousin” they all just might resent? I’m certainly no better – just different.