In honor of my birth mother’s 85th birthday today, I spent all morning in “Banister World.” That world has now grown to include Poole, Davidson, Whipple, Cravens, McKinney, and even a Ritter. It’s this one Ritter that’s the biggest “Riddle” of all! Edna Faye may not realize that her world has become my world, as I continue to seek clues to my roots. There are now hundreds of “relatives” on my tree, but I’ve yet to meet or talk with one of them in person. It seems a little strange to explore this family that didn’t exist for me at the beginning of this year. Little by little I’m putting the pieces together, like a jig-saw puzzle of life.

It is unlikely that she will ever directly share information with me, but I’ve made connections with people close to her. I’ve attained some photos and names that have gotten me as close to her as I’ve ever been since birth. She apparently has little interest in a relationship with me for the second time in our lives. I don’t know whether to see this as rejection or skepticism? I’m also beginning to wonder about her relationship with my father, concerned that it didn’t end well and I am a painful reminder of their youthful affair.  It’s been 66 years now since she gave me up for adoption, and I’ve taken all the difficult first steps. I found her and tried to contact her both directly and through her only other living son, also named Jerry Lee. She also has a daughter named Janet that is now my estranged step sister. She may yet not know of my existence.

I’ve been promised a phone conversation with the daughter of her sister’s closest cousin, and I’m waiting patiently for that to happen. I would like a clue as to the identity of the father, who could now be 87. Is he alive and does he know of my existence? She may have never admitted to him that she was pregnant, as the family sent her away to Indianapolis to give birth. Her sister is 86 and is my sole conduit to her. She would be the only other living person who might know the answer to the mysterious paternity question. My 23andMe contact, Terry, believes that he is related to me through this man, but we’ve yet to find the actual connection, just our matching DNA. (See Post #469). It was through this site that I also matched and communicated with Janine, who has passed along my findings to my birth mother through her mother. I couldn’t have found a more cooperative person to help in my quest. Since our first e-mails, I have also found several additional blood relatives as a result of a similar DNA test through Ancestry.com. However, it’s a shame that three of my closest matches have not responded to any messages. Janine identified one of them named Cathy as her cousin, so maybe they have talked? I’m the stranger and a “black sheep in the family,” so it’s not advisable for me to get too aggressive in my search.

I wish a happy birthday to my birth mother, Edna, and want her to know that I have fully embraced the life she gave me. I hope that she and her son don’t view me as a threat with suspicion of some kind of financial motive. I’ve seen several photos on Facebook pages of their homes and lives in Seymour, Indiana. It’s the blue-collar hometown of John Cougar Mellencamp, so a Hoosier neighborhood of “Little Pink Houses” and not Beverly Hills. I want nothing more than to solve the puzzle of who I am and how I relate to this world of relatives that I’ve uncovered? The once cold case is getting quite warm.