I found my way to Chicago’s O’Hare and eventually to Plainfield. In the meantime I had checked into the Renaissance Hotel and spoken with my son, Adam. Had I realized that he was arriving a day earlier, I would not have set up a meeting with my newest relative acquaintance, Audrey.
She is 85-years old and the mother of Janine, who has been one of several angels in my efforts to contact the woman I believe is my birth-mother. So far, when asked of a possible relationship, her reply has been, “don’t you think I’d remember something like that?” She’s being evasive, because of course she remembers. Not only was I born breach, but also given the same first and middle name of her first legitimate son, Jerry Lee. I can’t say I blame her for wanting to forget, after all I was a mistake born out of wedlock. I changed her life from a carefree, high school teenager, into an embarrassed young woman sent to the big city to be rid of me. I was a perhaps heartbreaking reminder of a relationship with a Marine that didn’t work out.
From the time she realized she was pregnant, her first thought was probably disbelief. How could this possibly happen? She then held on to a secret that she couldn’t share with her family or even her lover. Maybe she thought that they would marry, raise a family together, and all would be forgiven? With humiliation in mind, who did she tell first? A girlfriend, her sisters, or her mother were the logical choices. What was her father’s reaction and when did he find out? Was an illegal abortion discussed?
These are all questions that may never get answered. At least today’s conversation will give me some insight. Audrey knows the family, as a cousin whose fathers were brothers. I doubt if she knows the identity of my birth father, but I will share with her what I know. This Marine might have been related, adding further reason for my birth mother’s implied denials.
This woman could very well be as close to my birth-mother as I’ll ever get, so I’m treating our meeting as very special. I’ve never met an actual blood relative, as DNA tests match closely with her daughter. I’ve learned a lot about her family, by tracing their roots on a family tree I’ve created. It combines this family with my adopted Johnston family with me as the sole common member. There are now over 3000 connections, some dating back to mid-1500’s. This will be the first of several meetings with DNA connections that I discovered through 23andMe and Ancestry.com. I once thought I didn’t want a second family, but now it’s too late. I’m just too damn curious to abandon my efforts in this direction, and I hope my birth mother can forgive me for this unexpected reappearance & awkward intrusion into the Banister family.
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