Everybody has a routine to get them going in the morning.  The second our feet touch the ground the automatic pilot comes on.  It’s this zombie-like trance that allows us to accomplish the mundane preparation tasks every day.  When I was working, it was very different from what it is now in retirement.  Six months ago the morning drill was:  up at 6 a.m., check cell phone, fill water bowl, kitty-litter, shirt (that’s with the r), shorts, socks, ear buds, shoes (right first), stretch, exercises, walk dogs, run three miles, cool-down solitaire, brush teeth, shave, shower, dress, dogs out again, drive to work, park car, take the stairs, Starbucks tea, and start working at the computer.  The rest of the day would vary dramatically, but bedtime was typically 10 p.m., followed by a couple chapters of reading.  In retirement, everything is exactly the same up through the three-mile run.  This was a key strategy in making the transition to retirement, so as to not disrupt my wife’s routine.  Before she leaves for work, she fries me an egg and makes me take two vitamin D-3 tablets.  The rest of the day is mine.

The key to any marriage is to not disrupt your partner’s routine.  I want to be sure to get up before my wife does every day.  This is primarily because she is still working, and I don’t want her to think of me as a lazy retiree who sleeps all day.  It’s important for me to not make her resentful of having to go to work while I stay home. Fortunately, she still enjoys her career for the most part.  Every once in a while, she’ll get frustrated with her job, as anyone does, and wants to join my leisurely life.  She can if she wants to, but it’s not in her plan.  She’s five years younger and still on the upswing of her career path.

If any morning routine somehow gets disrupted, the tasks then become cumbersome.  Suddenly, you’re out of the trance, and you have to think on your own.  When this happens, even the smallest task, like brushing your teeth, gets complicated.  The same thing happens when these morning tasks fall out of order.  Once again, it requires thought, and the numbness of the routine goes away.  The best example for me is if the dogs need to go out before I exercise, then I start to think about the discomforts and even pain of doing push-ups, sit-ups, and running.  When that happens, I want to avoid doing them, and an unavoidable stalling process takes place.  As a result, the next tasks are delayed, so I get rushed and irritable.

Weekends have always been a challenge.  I want to sleep-in, but would probably be better-off if I just followed the same routine as during the week.  The dogs will wake me up, anxious to go outside, and I’ll start thinking about the exercise and running that’s next on the agenda.  By the time the dogs do their duty, I’m tempted to go back to bed, if for no other reason than to stall on doing the exercises and run.  I’ve found that getting out of bed is the toughest thing I do all day, even when I was working, so why would I want to go back to bed?  It’s a vicious cycle once any routine is disrupted.

Travel is the greatest disruption of all!  You’re in a strange bed, often in a different time zone, living out of a suitcase, with a transportation schedule to maintain, and things to see.  The morning routine is different every day, and each task is cumbersome.  The excitement of being in a new place keeps you going, but disruption is unavoidable.  You’ll get in each other’s way in an unfamiliar setting, after a poor night’s sleep, and that leads to awkward confrontations.  Finding your way from place to place also fuels arguments, but once you find what you’re looking for, all is forgiven.  It’s great to have adventures, but getting home to your familiar routine is always welcome.

The greatest disruption in life is to lose someone.  This is top of mind because a friend of ours just lost her brother.  He was only 59 years old, about six years younger. Their relationship was a bit strained, but he was still part of her life’s routine.  Imagine what it would be like to lose someone close, and the giant hole it would make in your life?  I’ve been fortunate, having somehow been sheltered from unexpected loss.  Our friends, family, and pets are part of our daily routine, even if it’s only a loving glance, phone call or a Facebook post.  I only hope that my life is not disrupted in this manner, as I can easily tolerate the repercussions if I somehow sleep through my alarm tomorrow morning.