Beaches are for thinking! I do some of my best thinking on the beach.  I can remember even as a teenager coming up with ideas while soaking in the sun.  “Tan Man” was one of those ideas that unfortunately never came to fruition.  I envisioned myself in only a swim suit, fireman’s hat, and a dark tan, riding a three-wheeler down the beach, carrying a fire extinguisher-like device and looking for sun-burned damsels in distress.  I would seek them out on the beach, their skin glowing like a bright red beacon, and spray away their pain with a blast of soothing sun screen.  “Never fear – Tan Man is here!” would be my battle cry.  I would also “peddle” paperbacks, sun-screen products, cold drinks, and other items of need on the beach. My crazy fantasy knitted together the elements of a knight-in-shining-armor, life guard, and street-vendor into a profitable small business operation.  This idea came long before firemen became super heroes, so “Tan Man” is even more viable on today’s beaches.

Well, burst that bubble!  I don’t have the body, the strength, or the energy that I used to possess – I’m retired and so is the idea of “Tan Man.”  However, I still enjoy the idea of lapping waves, chirping seagulls, and salty breezes.  Relaxation inspires thinking, and I’m not sure I could ever get enough of it.

Living in Portland, Oregon, I’ve had to make some adjustments to my warm-weather-inspired concept of the beach.  It can be, for example, 90 degrees and hot in the city, but by the time you’ve made the ninety minute drive to the beach, it’s more like 60 degrees.  Also, since there are only two primary routes to the coast and both are narrow, twisting mountain roads, so you’re not necessarily relaxed by the time you get the “beach!”

This past weekend we relearned the lesson of Pacific Ocean weather on the coast, and the trials and tribulations of getting there.  It’s sometimes easy to forget since we don’t do it very often.  It took twice as long to get there due to some accidents along the popular, curvy route.  It was 92 degrees and we had the convertible top down when we left Portland, but once we crawled to the crest of the coastal mountains, the temperature began to plummet. Fortunately, we were able to secure a last-minute room for the night, so we didn’t have to then turn around and come right back.  If the sun was shining, we never once saw it, and the fog and cold misty winds made for winter jackets.  So much for the beach experience as I once knew it.  Welcome to the Northwest!

It was better than our previous visit, when the fog was so thick that paying for an ocean-view room was a complete waste of money.  We felt sorry for the couple that did their wedding vows overlooking the ocean cliffs that on any other day might have been a million dollar view. I’m pretty sure they couldn’t even see their family and friends watching the ceremony from close by.   Once again, it was 90 degrees when we left Portland, and only half that temperature once we arrived.

We’ve learned not to call it a “beach” anymore.  It’s now the “coast,” and as a result we’ve made adjustments in how we enjoy it.  On occasion, we’ll get to wear our swim suits, but definitely not to go in the water.  In most cases, going barefoot isn’t even a good idea.  There would definitely be no need for Tan Man, since he would be bundled in blankets.  However, the coastal beaches do have a certain mystical quality about them.  The rocky shoreline coupled with the eerie overcast skies put you in a spell.  It’s, in fact, very pleasant to walk the long, flat beach and just think.

My wife and I walked for miles with the dogs.  They enjoy this beach because the sand is cool to their paws, and they don’t have to hide under an umbrella to find shade from the sun. While the dogs romped, we talked about retirement.  Once she stops working, we would like to live on or by a beach.  We both agreed that it wouldn’t be this one!  We also decided that Texas beaches were blistering hot, and Florida Gulf beaches too sticky and  humid.  Our discussion was similar to the story of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” trying to find one that’s “just right”  To live on a California beach would probably be too expensive, and the water in the Atlantic Ocean is too cold.  We tentatively agreed on Northern Florida, but figured we had about five more years to find “just right.”  The long walk on the beach was pleasant and fruitful.  It inspired us to talk openly and freely about where we wanted to live and where we wanted to travel.  She still has 5 more years before she’s in my shoes and fully retired.  In the meantime, I’ll help her practice!