Getting carded when you’re in your twenties is insulting, but in future years this can easily make your day. However, having recently been carded in my seventies, there was little satisfaction knowing that some establishments have “everyone gets carded” policies. So, don’t let “Getting Carded” go to your head. Mine is obviously a little cloudy as I write this particular post. 

When I can’t sleep at night, I often think of crazy things, while playing boring mind games to keep from endlessly rehashing whatever it is that’s bothering me. In this case, I was clearly focused on growing old with another birthday coming up as well as my son’s 50th. I reminisced about turning 16 and getting a driver’s license, then draft eligible at 18, and ultimately hitting the jackpot at 21 with the benefits of drinking legal liquor and now considered old enough to vote. We all go through these youthful stages of life. It’s then a long stretch before we start thinking about retirement at age 65. In between, you can choose to get married, start a career, and have kids. These steps naturally lead to more dates on the calendar of life such as anniversary celebrations, birthday or graduation parties, more weddings, and maybe even similar milestones with grandchildren. I couldn’t help but dwell on my thirtieth, fortieth, fiftieth, sixtieth, and seventieth birthdays, wondering if there would be an eightieth?

Nowadays, I’m retired, wasting away too many of my precious hours playing card games like bridge, euchre, hearts, or solitaire, buying baseball cards, and organizing these cards into notebooks. It often feels like an obsession, but most hobbies lead to such folly. In a desperate effort to fall asleep when everything else failed, I invented a little game of my own. Like counting sheep jumping over an imaginary fence, I began to think about card variations, some sillier than others: 

Playing card, Baseball card, Trump card, Get out of Jail Free card, Green card, Gold card, Discover Card, Platinum card, Black card, Titanium card, Social Security card, ATM card, Bank card, Charge card, Credit Card, Debit Card, Index card, Flash card, Red card, Yellow card, Rewards card, Business card, Greeting card, Calling card, Tarot cards, Postcard, Notecard, Loyalty card, Discount card, Christmas card, Birthday card, Holiday card -Easter, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Get Well Card, Sympathy Card, Graduation card, Hallmark Card, “In the cards,” Card Shark, Prepaid card, Medicare card, Membership card, Library card, Cardiologist, Cardinal – St. Louis, Arizona, Stanford, Ball State, Cardio, Card carrier, SIM card, Card holder, Card games, PC card, Graphics card, Flash card, Memory card, Punch Card, Bingo Card, Interface card, Game card, Trading card, UNO card, AMEX card, Discover Card, Chase Card, Apple card, Pokémon card, Get carded, ID card, Graduation card, eCard, Poker card, Card Table, Card Holder, Card Dealer, Card game, Line-up card, Magic card, Tobacco card, Football card, Boxing or Fight card, Wrestling card, Winning card, Card deck, Face card, Card game, High card, Low card, Card trick, Card shuffler, Cut the cards, Sort your cards, House of Cards, Score card, Dance card, Corporate card, Prayer cards, Draft Card, Numbered cards, Parallel cards, Auto cards, Relic cards, Rookie card, Wild card, Card Organizer, Card Dealer, Suit card, Card Break, Graded card, Automatic card shuffler, Card carrier, Marked card, Card Table……

I’ll try again tonight, putting more cards on the table (or pillow) and hoping for….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s!!!!!!