Festive Stress

It’s the end of November,

And all through the house.

Stress is building up,

On what to get your spouse?

copyright 2018 johnstonwrites.com

While pounding the pavement this morning, I was listening to the radio. They were talking about “Festive Stress,” and how it builds-up during the holidays. By December 13th it begins to peak, which ironically is Twelve Days before Christmas. I once was very familiar with this feeling and certainly can empathize with those who currently experience this uncomfortable restlessness. It was the reason that the New Year became my favorite holiday, as a sense of relief washed over me. All the decorating, gift giving, parties, and visiting obligations were finally over. It wasn’t so much celebrating a new year as much as rejoicing that all that “Festive Stress” was behind me.

I no longer have to deal with “Festive Stress.” In retirement, there are no more difficult decisions to be made on what to get the support staff? Planning an office party and preparing appropriate speeches are finally a thing of the past. With family spread out all over the country, it’s impossible to get everyone together, and only my 97-year old mother-in-law requires our attention. I used to fuss over what to wrap for my parents even though they needed or wanted nothing. There was also a certain sense of guilt that I could never pay them back for adopting me and raising me as their own. They passed four years ago and only my adopted sister and her children remain from our family. I no longer buy gifts for any of them by mutual agreement. My son and his family live in Florida, so we rarely get together for the holidays because our priorities lie with my wife’s mother and travel back to Indiana. For my grandkids, I usually end up sending a small gift and money, while it lasts. I also try to make an annual deposit into their college fund that will probably ultimately only buy them a book or two!

I personally don’t expect gifts and am usually embarrassed to get one. My wife is now my sole recipient of a carefully planned gift every year. She still gets excited about Christmas and I always end up spending more than I should. Unfortunately, I no longer have the resources to buy elaborate gifts, but I also appreciate that she is still working and provides a majority of our income. This means that she’s often paying for her own gift, and hopefully will be less “needy” when she retires in four years. Her dad gave her the nickname “Sweetie Needy” years ago, so I knew what I was getting into. One of the sacrifices that you have to make in retirement is reducing your needs, and I’m more prepared for that than she is at this point. However, she more than deserves rewards for all she does to support my retirement with her career and homemaking skills. I’m lucky to have her.

Part of my “gift” to her every year is the exhausting trip back to Indiana. It typically starts in Chicago with concerns about bad weather as we make the long drive to Indianapolis. We make a stop for “Mom” about half-way and then proceed to her other daughter’s home to eat, drink, and watch them open gifts. My wife’s two daughters typically join us as they make stressful compromises with their time between us and their father’s family. It reminds me of years ago when I had to split my allegiances on holidays with multiple divisions of the family, so I feel their tug-of-war pain. I will spend some time with my college friend Peter, and plan to make a stop in my hometown of Elkhart on the way back to Chicago. We’ll have dinner with my sister and her kids, although her son and grandson will be at Disney World for an invitation-only All-Star baseball tournament. Apparently, my great nephew has some exceptional athletic skills.

Before we travel to Elkhart, my wife and I will make an hour-long side trip to Scipio, Indiana. This will be part of her “gift” to me.  I’m looking forward to meeting what DNA “proves” to be five half-sisters and their mother. It may be a bit awkward especially since none of them knew of my existence last Christmas. Their father, and presumably mine, passed away under difficult circumstances 7-years ago. It has to be particularly unsettling for the mother, who was probably unaware that her husband-to-be had an affair that led to my birth 67-years ago. We’ll all be meeting at a home that he built many years ago, and hopefully we’ll all find some common characteristics that each of us inherited. My wife will bear witness to this strange “reunion” that resulted from a life-changing Ancestry.com saliva test. It might help answer some of my lifelong questions about what happened before my adoption? This is the only true “Festive Stress” that I will be experiencing this year!

It’s Holiday time,
My mind’s a mess.
I must be stricken,
With Festive Stress.

I need to prepare,
A flow chart.
And I don’t know,
Where to start.

Gifts to buy,
Cards to send.
But are you really?
A worthy friend.

Time to decorate,
The Christmas Tree.
Parties to attend,
Relatives to see.

Cold sweats,
Sleepless nights.
Jet lag,
Crowded flights.

Wreath to hang,
Lights to string.
Snow to shovel,
Carols to sing.

More mashed potatoes,
Dessert, of course.
Bad gift ideas,
Buyers remorse

Family dinners,
The office bash.
Credit card debt,
Short on cash.

Cookies to bake,
Wine to drink.
Hardly a moment,
To even think.

Candy canes,
Fruit cakes.
No more food!
For Heaven’s sake.

Bowl game talk,
For football fans.
New Year madness,
Then Diet plans.

And then it’s over,
No more to fear.
Until Festive Stress,
Comes back next year.

copyright 2018 johnstonwrites.com