I’m playing golf today for the first time in nearly four years, with the exception of some swings at Top Golf. It’s an outing for the Baseball Old Timers to support youth baseball. My good friend and former co-worker is a board member who put together our foursome, including two of my high school buddies. We’re all counting on this guy’s skills as a former Golf Pro to lead us to a scramble victory. If not, we’ll just drink beer, make fun of each other, and eat hot dogs. It will be a fun day in the hot sun. 

We’re expecting temperatures to reach the 90’s this afternoon, so hydration will be key. Where’s the beer cart? I’m a real duffer that swings recklessly and loses a lot of golf balls. Occasionally, I will hit a good drive but most of my time will be spent searching the rough and trees for my ball. I have trouble seeing where it goes, as it seems to seek trouble. I did have some lessons as a youth, but those seem to be long forgotten. Perhaps, I’ll get a few tips today.

To give you an idea of how much time I spend looking for lost balls in the woods, I’m reminded of a business outing many years ago. Golf has always been a key business bonding tool since you really get to know clients when you spend 3 or more hours with them on the course. It’s no secret that the better golfers get the business. They’re in demand at every outing and heavily recruited to fill a foursome. Instead, it was my bad golf that put me in the spotlight at the awards banquet. I remember the first shot that went into the trees where I found a cute stuffed animal. I left it there thinking a neighborhood kid would be looking for it. A few holes later, I had found several more, realizing that they were prizes, so I went back and collected the first one. I then spent the entire afternoon exploring the “jungle” areas of the golf course, picking-up all these furry creatures. At the end of the day, when they announced the lowest scores, longest drive, and best putt, the master of ceremonies asked if anyone found a stuffed animal? I had found every one and relished the recognition even though it was to mock my inability to stay on the fairways. To everyone’s amusement, I was offered insect repellent, first-aid kit, a machete, bee-keepers costume, weed-wacker, and other wilderness aids.

I only hope that I can do something today to distinguish rather than embarrass myself. Apparently, our foursome has now turned into a five-some, so that increases our team odds of hitting at least one good shot. My golf clubs have been lonely, sitting in the corner of our garage collecting dust. It will be great to spend the afternoon in the sun with good friends, hoping to contribute to any success we might have. Hopefully, I won’t hit anyone with an errant drive, have a golf cart accident, strain any muscles, or drink too much beer. It’s for a good cause, so I certainly don’t want to cause any reason for ridicule – just have a good time.