I just walked the dogs down to Starbucks, and got them a treat to go with my Peach Tranquility tea, with three packets of honey to soothe my throat.  I don’t need caffeine in the morning, so that’s what Diet Coke is for in the afternoon.  It helps keep me from taking a retirement nap.  I prefer to get the most out of the precious solitude of “My Day.”  (See Post #30).  I’ve also used the terms, “My Time,” and “Me Time,” to include those valuable moments alone when I can reflect on life and write about its trials and tribulations.  It’s not as if I sit here at the keyboard all day, but I have developed a certain routine that can get easily disrupted without some sense of focus.  For example, one of my retirement goals is to post at least one article every day on www.blog.johnstonwrites.com.  This is Rule #5 as outlined in post #95, and I can’t get it accomplished unless I have at least an hour to myself every day.   In fact, you may have noted that this is only post #160, twenty articles below where I should be at this six-month milestone of my retirement.

I have done some catching up over the past couple months, following a sluggish start to the year.  I was still trying to formulate a daily routine, knowing that I would need some kind of schedule to transition into retirement.  I don’t want to be too hard on myself for not reaching a goal, especially since discipline and goals were such big factors in the sales business.  I was always my biggest source of criticism – no supervisor could have possibly been more critical.  It’s great that I have this laptop to accompany me wherever I go, but it’s not exactly like I’m in the newspaper business at deadline.  My writing is supposed to be therapeutic to me, and yet interesting to you.  I get a lot more benefit out of it than you do!

I’ve taken on several “domestic” duties in retirement, that are a lot more constructive than writing, including cooking, cleaning, laundry, and shopping.  I’m not good at any of these things, but I’m learning.  While I was working, it seemed personally justifiable that none of these duties were my responsibility.  Much to my embarrassment, my wife could do them all well…and have a career!  Mine was the attitude of a King and as Mel Brooks often sang, “It’s GOOD to be the KING.”  Well, I’m now alone all day long in the castle, and I better learn to be good at something.

I did some laundry this morning, including a fitted sheet.  I’ve had some difficulty folding things in general, but especially a fitted sheet.  It would end up looking like I just wadded it up and tossed it in the back of the closet.  The Today Show had posted a recent video about this folding challenge, so I’m apparently not the only one who needed help.  Others, including Martha Stewart, tried to teach me the trick, but I simply couldn’t master it.  This morning I was able to accomplish this feat, and feel quite sure that no King could have ever matched my efforts.  In fact, after a few more attempts to perfect this skill, I may very well do my own video.

As I learned on my recent visit to the Palace of Versailles, Kings even had difficulty wiping themselves.  I mastered that skill years ago, and my wife has taught me to buy only Charmin Ultra Soft.    It was one of my early shopping mistakes, thinking that this really didn’t matter.  I’ve also bought the wrong kind of ham for the dogs, got the incorrect brand of chips, and went to the wrong store for fresh produce.  Oh, and that’s not all!  I don’t seem to see the dust, don’t make the bed properly, and have ruined a couple of her tops in the dryer.  I have shown some improvement in all of these areas over the past couple months, but I did get off to a rough start.

I’ve shown some promise in the kitchen and on the grill, after preparing about 15 meals.  I’ve been told on several occasions that  I have a “touch” for proper seasoning.  I have my own night to cook and have organized a recipe book.  I’m not a Domestic God, as yet, but I’m certainly better than a King.  A King is, after all, only as good as his servants, while I only serve on Tuesday nights.  Monday is still meatless, Wednesday is Date Night, and on Saturdays we only eat movie popcorn for dinner.  The kitchen is still my wife’s domain, but I try to unload the dishwasher, stock the refrigerator with fresh water, and empty the trash.  I remain the primary servant to our dogs and cat, but they still like her better.  I’ve come a long way from being the son of one of the “finest” microwave chefs in history, who was a full-time housewife, but also had a full-time cleaning person.  My room was always an embarrassing mess, and that continued into college.  It’s taken 45 years of training by two different wives to teach me the questionable household skills that I currently possess.  I’ve come a long way, baby!

I just set up an appointment to have our plantation shutters installed in the bedroom.  By 4 a.m. every morning, it is so light in there that it’s impossible for my wife to sleep.  I seem to have no trouble, but I’m also not haunted by work nightmares any more.  We do sleep in a King-sized bed, suitable for royalty like myself.  There’s still not enough room with at least one dog and a cat sharing the space with us.  We also just got back yesterday from a week of travel, and are still reeling from the three-hour time difference.  It’s not easy to sleep when you’re in a different bed each night, as Kings also tend to operate.  “It’s good to be the King,” but only if you have the right Queen.  She’s at work right now, but I’ll enjoy “her” weekend together.  My weekends don’t exist anymore, they’re just like any other day in retirement.