Whether you’re retired or not, you still have to eat, and after dining with my wife at over 1200 different restaurants all over the world, it gets harder and harder to find ones that really stand out.  The restaurant business is very competitive, and all of them seem to have award-winning chefs.  Most of the restaurants where we dine serve tasty food, with attentive service, and creative dishes.  If you don’t have these three elements, you’re soon out of business.  We chose Quaintrelle in Portland as last night’s Date Night restaurant.  It’s fairly new on the scene, replacing a diner specializing in mac and cheese that we always wanted to try.  We had a good dining experience, but maybe I would have rather had the mac and cheese.

Mac and cheese, and hamburgers will always be my favorites.  Add a good loaf of bread and I’ve had a five-star dining experience.  One of my goals in accompanying my wife on a recent business trip was to try an “In-and-Out” burger.  I found one in Hollywood.  I’ve read several articles rating the top 25 fast food hamburgers, and “In-and-Out” and “Five Guys” consistently battle for the top spot.  McDonald’s is somewhere in the middle, but after watching the movie, “Founder,” I’ve lost my fondness for Ray Kroc.  “Five Guys” had a location on the Champs Elysees, right across from “Tiffany’s.”  I was surprised they didn’t serve wine in France, but “Five Guys” put themselves right in the heart of the most fashionable district in Paris.   Maybe they should serve their burgers in a blue box!

A good hamburger is like gold, but unfortunately doesn’t last as long.  We like “Skyline” burgers here in Portland, mostly because it’s nearby.  “Killer Burger” also rates high on my gourmet scale.  For many years, a friend of mine at the office and I would spend at least one lunch every week looking for the perfect burger.  In Indianapolis, “Workingman’s Friend” was a standout, but “Steak N’ Shake” was the staple.  In Austin, the burger took a back seat to the burrito, but “Gourdough’s” served theirs on a glazed donut.   With burgers, it’s all about the grill, and nothing beats a back-yard concoction.  I remember grilling J.T.M. frozen burgers back in Indiana, and would joke about it being the abbreviation for “Just a Touch of Meat.”  They still tasted great by the pool.  Even “White Castle” was a treat for me, so my standards are probably not to be trusted.

Here was my poetic tribute to the Hamburgers in Austin, Texas – the other “weird” city:

 

Hamburger

Burgers are a favorite,

Our quest to find the best.

My main criteria,

Is it easy to digest?

.

You’re into gourmet,

Is it Zagat rated?

You’ve probably had a burger,

That you’ve even hated.

.

It’s hard for me to find,

One that’s not to love.

Greasy and gooey,

Special sauce from above.

.

Plenty of choices,

If fast is what you need.

Square or round patties,

Or so rare it bleeds.

.

Some reek of onion,

Some do it your way,

And you can score one,

Any time of day.

.

Is your favorite burger,

At Steak N’ Shake?

The “Mighty Fine” salt,

Keeps you awake.

.

The minis at “Docs,”

Hit the spot.

“Phil’s” buns.

The best we’ve got.

.

We both like cheese,

And on the grill.

A side of fries,

Hold the dill.

.

Thin fries for you,

I like them fat.

Curley’s good,

Ketchup with that?

.

Is Cheddar better?

Does size matter?

Wrapped in paper,

Or served on a platter?

.

We’ve served them frozen,

Burnt or pre-prepared.

And with a few too many,

No one really cared.

.

Ever had a J.T.M.?

Just a Touch of Meat.

A minute on the grill,

How many can you eat?

.

Get them while they’re hot,

Jalapenos add a kick.

Do you prefer,

Thin or thick?

.

Is it a “Whataburger?”

Or a “Big Mac?”

King and Queen?

Or in the box with Jack?

.

Is “Fuddrucker’s” worthy?

“Chili’s” or “Applebee’s?”

“Sonic” to “White Castle,”

“Alka-Seltzer” please.

.

“Sandy’s” and “Hut’s,”

“Terry’s” drive-thru.

“Fran’s” and “Dirty Martin’s,”

Are local favorites,  too.

.

We’ll soon try “Dan’s,”

Then “Casino El Camino.”

We can only hope,

We won’t need “Beano.”

.

“Cheeseburger in Paradise,”

We’ve had a few.

A Caribbean sunset,

Pina Colada or two.

.

A little mayo,

Lettuce on top.

The search for best,

Will never stop.

.

Copyright johnstonwrites.com

9/13/09