The corn is waist-high already in Indiana as a result of an abnormally wet May. The Mnemonic rhyme was always, “knee-high by the 4th of July,” so growth is well ahead of schedule this year. “Hoosierisms” like this were a big part of growing up in the only state with a basketball hoop in every driveway and on the side of any barn. “Them apples,”” warshing machine, “ and “crick” are only found in the Hoosier dictionary.  I guess you could also refer to our wacky language as “Indiana Corn.”

I grew up by the Michigan border in the very northern part of the state where fish were not “feesh” and I didn’t trudge through 2-feet of snow to get to “keendergartin,” however “further” south a Hoosier twang is endearingly  prominent. I did drink pop as opposed to soda, but the brand Ski was somehow not popular “in my neck of the woods.” Squirt was one of my favorites. Notre Dame was “down the road aways, while I.U was “pert-near” to Kentucky. Only northern Hoosiers know about Volcano Pizza, Nelson’s Golden Glow Chicken, and Lookwell Dairy. Tenderloins are truly ”the size of your head.”

Movies like Hoosiers and Breaking Away are authentic portrayals of Indiana culture. We went to the license branch rather than the BMV, and had a hamburger sandwich or chili soup for supper. TV dinners were my favorite meal, served on a TV tray. I ate Quaker Oats for breakfast only because it came in a cylindrical container that could be “recycled” into a basketball hoop. All I had to do was fashion some aluminum foil into the shape of a ball, remove the bottom of the container and secure it to the basement wall. It was time for some “Hoosier Hysteria.” 3…2…1…swish!

The single-class high school basketball tournament is always my favorite memory of growing up in Indiana. The championship game was always in the state capital of Indianapolis every March –  known to even hicks as “Indy,” “Naptown” or “india-no-place, even though it was a popular big-city destination. The sectionals, regionals, and semi-states were held in massive gyms throughout the state such as North Side Gym, The Anderson Wigwam, and The Muncie Fieldhouse. Butler’s Hinkle Fieldhouse was typically the host site of the championship, but the Hoosierdome, Market Square Arena, and, Conseco Fieldhouse (now Banker’s Life) have been used to accommodate larger crowds. Since the elimination of the one-class tournament, crowds are no longer an issue and large gyms are dying. Basketball is still king (and queen) in Indiana – Go Pacers and Fever, sorry Colts and Indians.

Yes, Mr. Hoover, there is a Hoosier Dam, but it’s not in Indiana but rather Chatham County North Carolina. Maybe it was built by Hoosier’s strong, reliable men, who were responsible for building the canals in Metamora, Indiana and gave Indiana University it’s unique nickname, synonymous with champions? (Also see Hoosier’s Nest.”) Speaking of which, only a Purdue Boilermaker fan, even though they’re still a Hoosier, would ever say, “Those Damn Hoosiers!” I always try to practice “Hoosier Hospitality” when I refer to a Boilermaker. As such a good sport, I deserve to win the Hoosier Lottery!

I married a Hoosier Mama, had a Hoosier baby, but never lived in a “Little Pink House,” as fellow-Hoosier John Cougar Mellencamp describes his hometown. I honestly also don’t know who my Hoosier Daddy is yet? (See Diary of an Adoptee). Finally, no one would even know where Indiana is on a map if it weren’t for the Indy 500. It’s given our state capital world-wide recognition. Every year in May, just prior to Memorial Day you’ll hear the familiar strains of “Back Home Again in Indiana,” followed by the words, “Ladies and Gentlemen…start your engines!” I’m surprised that the winner doesn’t have corn on the cob, warshed down with that traditional swig of milk.