While I was hanging out in the Emergency Room yesterday, both my wife and I suddenly realized the magnitude of my perceived condition when a massive team of doctors, technicians, and nurses surrounded my bedside. They were all talking stroke after some dizziness I experienced while running. I appreciate all their attentiveness and am grateful that it was not diagnosed as a stroke. I’m not yet convinced that it was even a transient ischemic attack (TIA). It is, however, alarming to note that nearly half of all strokes occur within the first few days after a TIA. In the meantime, I’ll try to maintain my sense of humor and write as much as possible.

As everyone rushed to my side and my wife began making phone calls to loved ones, I could only think of the song “He’s not dead yet.” To me, it was not a near-death experience, but it certainly scared my family. In the aftermath, everyone seems to have a recommendation on things I should immediately change. These range anywhere from eat less meat, dress warmer, avoid fast food, stop drinking alcohol, update your will, and change your exercise routine. I’m appreciative of everyone’s concern but “I’m not dead yet.”

My wife is a huge fan of musicals, and I’m often drug along reluctantly to experience the event. Every once in a while, there’s one I really enjoy, however, I always relish watching the joy on her face of being in the theater and imagining that she’s part of the performance. The Broadway production of Monty Pyton’s Spamelot, a spoof on the legendary story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table as they journey through England in search of the holy grail is one of my favorites. There is a morbid scene where they are hauling away in wheelbarrows dead bodies ravaged by the plague. One of the bodies starts to speak, which of course breaks into the song, “He’s not dead yet:”

Sacrosanctus domine
Pecavi ignoviunt
Iuesus christus domine
Pax vobiscum venerunt

Bring out your dead, bring out your dead
Here’s one, I’m not dead
Here, he says he’s not dead
Yes, he is

I feel happy, I feel happy
I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the highland fling

I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
‘Cause I’m not yet dead

He is not yet dead that’s what the geezer said
Oh, he’s not yet dead that man is off his head
He is not yet dead, put him back in bed
Keep him off the cart because he’s not yet dead

Well now he’s dead, you whacked him on the head
Sure now he’s dead, it makes me just see red
You are such a brute to murder that old coot
You homicidal bastard, now he’s really dead
Who is the knave, who put him in his grave
And who needs to manage his anger?

My name is Lancelot, I’m big and strong and hot
Occasionally I’ll do, some things that I should not
I want to be a knight, but I don’t like to fight
I’m rather scared I may simply run away

I’ll be right with you
Robin through and through and through
So stick with me and I’ll show you what to do
We’ll remain good chums
You can teach me how to dance
We’re going to enlist
I’m robin
And I’m Lance

Oh we’re off to war because we’re not yet dead
We will all enlist as the knights that Arthur led
I am coming too my name will be Sir Fred
I’ll be your musician ’cause I’m not yet dead

Oh we’re not dead yet to Camelot we go
To enlist instead to try and earn some dough
And so although we should have stayed in bed
We’re going off to war because we’re not yet dead

We’re going off to war, we’ll have girlfriends by the score
We’ll be shot by Michael Moore
Because we’re not yet dead, not yet dead
Written by:
John Du Prez; Eric Idle Lyrics licensed by LyricFind

I next can’t wait to see Spamilton, the new spoof on the hit smash Hamilton. Unlike most of America, my wife and I were not overwhelmed by the original. Could this be a future favorite? With parody songs like Aaron Burr, Sir, Nervous-er; Straight Guys Winter Prom; and Liza’s Down on Rap, I just might enjoy a good laugh.