Diary of an Adoptee: Letter Update #404

I was about to fall asleep in my office chair, watching a History Channel Ancient Top Ten segment, when I typed in the tracking number of a certified letter that I sent 9 days ago. (See Post #393). Earlier today, I got my first indication of activity, since in prior attempts it continued to show no record of movement. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I thought that, like a package, it would at least give me information on its whereabouts along the route from Portland, Oregon to Seymour Indiana. I entered and double-checked the lengthy 701627100000555495947 number so many times over the past week that I nearly had it memorized, wondering if I was doing something wrong. Suddenly, this morning it indicated that delivery was expected by 8 p.m. today. I knew at least that the certification process was working, yet I still wasn’t sure if the address was correct or that anyone would be home to provide the required signature. I also thought for sure that the next message I would get was a “delivery attempted but no answer” and that they would then attempt a second delivery. Instead, it read DELIVERED at 5:13 p.m. WOW!

I had a direct hit, assured to at least know that the address and recipient actually matched. It took my breath away to think about the ramifications. I tried to put myself in his shoes, receiving a letter from a total stranger, claiming to be a half-brother. The ball was now in his court, and the responsibility of finding him was out of my hands. My secret was now out of the bag, documented in full through birth certificates, census information, and court records. As he signed for the letter, he must have noticed the “classic car” return address label I had purposely used to attract his attention. I found on his recent Facebook posts numerous photos of a similar model that I assumed was his pride and joy. I’m only guessing that as he added his signature to the delivery person’s computer pad that his first thought was a fellow car enthusiast, maybe a potential buyer or seller. Surprise!

It sends chills up my spine that I may be one step closer to connecting with my birth mother. The next step is up to him, as to how or if he approaches her with this life-changing information?  In one sense, I’m embarrassed to have put him in this difficult situation, but it was the only address I had. I don’t know what I would have done, if the address had been wrong or if delivery had not been completed? It makes me think that a bit of destiny has come into play here. My adopted parents both passed away over three years ago, and both of their 97th birthdays would have been next week.  The timing is such that I don’t have to deal with any guilt associated with having to share my feelings with two mothers. This was always a major obstacle in pursing the roots of my adoption. Also, my birth mother’s 85th birthday will be in April, if she’s still living, as the recent Facebook posts seem to confirm. As my adopted sister recently mentioned, “knowing that you are alive and well may very well be the best gift you could ever give her.” There was a picture of her, holding a sign from her son reading, “I Love my Mom.” She could be my mom, too, or at least the woman that gave birth to me.

I enclosed a self-addressed stamped envelope in my package that was just delivered. I also included a phone number, but I don’t expect a call. I would hope that in the next few weeks that I will get some kind of a response. I would like the opportunity to send a personal letter, and maybe follow-up with a phone call. Maybe, a month from now when we’re back in Indiana, I can at least go to her original home town of Shelbyville and look at some other “family” photos in the high school yearbooks. She had seven brothers and sisters, so there should have been some Banisters that roamed the same halls as Hoosier, I.U., Celtics, and Globetrotters basketball legend Bill Garrett. If it is indeed the same woman, she had just finished her Junior year there when she gave birth to me. Maybe I’ll eventually get a chance to meet her and/or learn more about the father?