Hello, my name is Mike, and I’m a meat-lover. I do, however, question my skills as a hunter and even a gatherer. I’m not a killer nor am I a shopper, so I tend to consume what is put in front of me. I am definitely not a fan of vegetables, although I can appreciate their nutritional value. A few weeks ago, with family in town, my wife made a reservation at a vegetarian gourmet restaurant that we had been to before. I honestly enjoyed my meal there, but my preference would have been a steak house. When she found out that the reservation was one short, I volunteered to stay home, joking “No Meat, No Mike.”

One day a week my wife and I refrain from eating meat, a tougher sacrifice for me. With alliteration in mind, we call it “Meatless Monday.” We’ve been doing this now for over two-and-a-half years, so I’ve adapted to corn, broccoli, green beans, cauliflower, and kale. With the right amount of cheese & sauce and some deep frying, anything is edible. The fact is that if I if I really insisted on just meat, I would starve. I’ve never put my foot down, as this poem implies:  

No Meat, No Mike

All vegetables for dinner,
Just doesn’t seem right.
I think I’ll just pass,
No Meat, No Mike.

A platter of just broccoli,
I don’t think I’d Like.
Don’t set me a place,
No Meat, No Mike.

I was raised a carnivore,
Since I was a tyke.
Save space on my plate,
No Meat, No Mike.

Beef’s been my favorite,
Since President Ike.
If you’re planning dinner?
No Meat, No Mike.

When sent to the grocery,
On my very first Bike.
The Butcher knew best,
No Meat, No Mike.

I can do fish,
Bluegill or Pike.
Just hold the peas,
No Meat, No Mike.

Beans and carrots,
Can take a long hike.
The Cauliflower’s yours,
No Meat, No Mike.

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