Whether you are retired or not, routine is important.  I’ve had a fairly normal week so far, even though we’re headed to Seattle tomorrow.  Last week it was San Francisco, so my daily routine has been anything but!  I’m not complaining, I enjoy the travel, but it’s nice to just sit and write without interruption.  The dogs are happy to have me home, and I’m glad to not be spending money at a blistering pace.   Several packages have landed on the front porch, however, reminding me that you don’t have to be away from home to spend money.  It looks like my wife has been busy.

One heavy package that arrived this morning contained a case of peanut butter.  My wife is brand-picky, and prefers Peter Pan that has not been available on the local shelves.  It looks like I’m the one eating it all.  In fact, there’s currently an open jar on the book shelves next to an sleeve of Ritz Crackers – because everything is better if it “sits on a Ritz.”  I do share it with Tinker and Tally, our schnauzers.  Tally especially likes to play with the empty jars, trying her best to stretch her tongue to reach the bottom. Apparently, there have been a lot of empty jars of late for her to enjoy.

My wife had another package that included three bottles of Wishbone Western Salad Dressing, another item that is not available in area stores.  It also wasn’t available in Austin, even though they use longhorns as part of the design logo.  You would think that Western dressing would be popular in the West, but it’s apparently not true.  I don’t eat Western Dressing, so that’s why she only got three bottles instead of a case.  I’m a Blue Cheese kinda guy.  She used to buy it when we traveled back to the Midwest and bring it back in our luggage.  Fortunately, with Amazon Prime, we can just have it shipped to our doorstep. Someone needs to tell Wishbone that they need to re-brand their product as Midwestern Dressing!

Peanut Butter has grown into a significant part of my daily retirement routine.  Fortunately, the open jar is the reduced fat option, and the crackers are low fat.   By the way, Tinker just crawled up on the chair to get closer to the goods.   It’s best that I’m at my desk and not within reach.  I honestly didn’t realize that I was going through that much peanut butter until this case arrived today.  A single jar of Peter Pan Creamy Reduced Fat spread has 2600 calories and 169 grams of fat.  It does, however, have no cholesterol, and it’s 30% less fat than their regular brand.   A case still totals 31,200 calories.  I wonder how long it takes me to go through a case?  The expiration date is a year from now, so that means at least a jar a month.

I guess with Peter Pan, I won’t grow up!  I will, however, grow sideways.  It’s a lazy man’s lunch, prepared on white bread with grape jelly, bananas,  lettuce & mayonnaise, pickle, or honey, depending on what’s available.  The lettuce keeps it from sticking to the roof of your mouth.  One of my favorite book characters, Kinsey Millhone, is partial to peanut butter and pickles.  She’ll be eating one of her last sandwiches when Y is for Yesterday from author, Sue Grafton, is released next week.  Only Z will be left in her alphabet series, and Kinsey will have no peanut butter future.  Elvis died from peanut butter, banana, honey, and bacon sandwiches.  Former President Bill Clinton and Madonna are members of the Skippy “Adult Peanut Butter Lovers’ Fan Club,” along with Julia Child, Larry King, Jack Nicholson, Tom Selleck, Kim Basinger, Barbara Walters, Olympian Bonnie Blair. Barbara Bush, Dan Rather, Cher, William F. Buckley, Billy Joel, Julia Roberts, Bill Cosby, and Michael J. Fox.   I’m not like my wife, so Skippy brand would work just as well.  Crunchy or Creamy doesn’t matter either.  I do feel like I’m in good company with all these famous people, but I doubt they buy their peanut butter by the case.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are a whole separate topic.  I’ve tried my best to cut back on chocolate, but I must be substituting large quantities of peanut butter for these other cravings for sweets.  I’d like to nominate George Washington Carver as the father of peanut butter, since his efforts to promote alternative planting led to more peanut growing.  Currently, more than half of the American peanut crop is used to make peanut butter, and I’m eating most of it.  I’d also like to credit John Harvey Kellogg for earning the first American patent in 1895, and send out a reminder that November is National Peanut Butter Lover’s Month.  Looks like I’m ready!