I don’t know if you’re aware of the peanut butter crisis yet? If you’re a fan like me your interest has undoubtedly peaked, along with your blood pressure.  About 9 months ago, a case of Peter Pan Creamy Reduced Fat Peanut Butter arrived on my front porch. (See Post #219) I was initially worried about eating a whole case before the one-year expiration date, but we now only have a couple of jars left. We bought it through Amazon because the brand is not available in Oregon, and it was my wife’s favorite growing up. Any time we traveled back to the Midwest, she would buy a couple of jars of Peter Pan and bring them back in a suitcase. However, it became harder and harder to find, so this is why she was thrilled to find it through Amazon, but only by the case. In fact, I never even thought about an expiration date on peanut butter until this shipment arrived, realizing that two jars of peanut butter a month was a bit of a challenge for the two of us.

Fortunately, our dogs also love peanut butter, so whenever a jar is opened they are close behind. Our youngest schnauzer Tally likes to finish off the jar, securing it from rolling with her paws and maneuvering her long tongue into the bottom of the plastic cylinder. “Good to the last drop,” courtesy of Maxwell House was also her slogan, protecting her precious treat from her older sister Tinker. Tinker particularly likes it on Ritz Crackers, and is at my side whenever I go to the cupboard. Tally doesn’t beg like Tinker, so the nearly empty offering is my attempt to fairly equalize distribution. 

A few weeks ago the mail carriers had their annual non-perishable food drive and we put several jars of Peter Pan in with our other food contributions. They turned out to be precious cargo because the product is no longer available. As my wife tried to reorder, it was out of stock on Amazon so she contacted Con Agra and got the bad news. Suddenly, our last remaining jars were now hers, as she tried to preserve a precious childhood memory. As an option, how about just a “whiff of Jif?” She bought the dogs and I some home-made fresh ground peanut butter from Zupan’s Market, and put her Peter Pan under lock and key. It’s too bad that it will expire soon, and another link to her early years gone forever.

When I looked up Jiffy peanut butter, I did learn that the smell of peanut butter, according to a 2013 study out of the University of Florida Brain Institute, can be an test for early onset Alzheimer’s. Researchers believe that the disease starts in the brain’s region that controls our sense of smell, and that the odor of peanut butter might just be an inexpensive diagnosis. The study found that those showing signs of early-stage Alzheimer’s had one thing in common – trouble smelling the peanut butter out of their left nostril. I’m glad that I passed this sniff test, but I’m still having trouble with my memory. By the way, I don’t have a favorite peanut butter, but I do like crunchy, so maybe the next time my wife will buy me Jif, Planter’s, or Skippy crunchy. To them, this is not a crisis but rather an opportunity.

One of the cruel realities of retirement is that the past slowly disappears as friends, family, and familiar products are no longer part of your life. Somehow, no other brand of peanut butter will ever taste as good to her as Peter Pan, and to her this is a crisis. For me, it’s “nuts” to believe that peanut butter even has an expiration date. Apparently, oxygenation will eventually ruin it, but probably won’t kill you. What will be the next childhood favorite that will become extinct? Hopefully, it’s not Diet Coke, Oreos or Volcano Pizza. 

Follow up note: Since I don’t have an editor, and sometimes fail to get my point across, I still strive to be fair. In reading this post, my wife felt that I had unfairly put Peter Pan out of business. To clarify, they simply dropped their Peter Pan Creamy Reduced Fat product, not their entire line. To my wife, it’s still a crisis as she searches for an alternative. I like crunchy with extra fat, but I don’t wear the peanut butter pants in this family. Sorry, Peter Pan brand and parent company Con Agra if I misrepresented you as Petered-out.