If I had to define retirement depression, it would be when you don’t get to do what you want to do. This could be because you’re not physically, mentally, or financially able to do something, when you’re restricted to someone else’s schedule, or you’re lacking companionship. Work always put you on someone else’s schedule, so I’m glad to be retired and have the freedom to control my own time – but there are exceptions. I was a bit depressed yesterday because I was on my wife’s schedule when weather interrupted my planned routine for the day. It wasn’t as if I had anything important planned, it was because I selfishly wanted a day to unwind from the rigors of recent travel. Instead, I shuttled her back and forth from work, dealing with icy hills, tentative commuters, and uncooperative stop lights. In the process, my wife enjoyed the company of our two dogs on what is typically a lonely drive to work. The dogs loved it, too, while I liked the companionship, just not the driving responsibilities.

After running several errands on the way to and from her offices, it seemed like an eternity before I finally got back home. Then, I had to turn around and go back. The same thing happened today, as my shuttle services resumed after several more inches of snow were deposited overnight. More is expected yet this week before we head back to Indiana and face similar weather conditions. On the positive side, there are few hills to navigate, but to get there we face a red-eye flight schedule, and once we arrive, days filled with family obligations. Once again, we’re on someone else’s schedule.

The same could be said about our upcoming cruise. Every day is filled with rigorous schedules to follow that involve airlines, tour guides, and ship routes. Once we get on the boat, we’re a captive audience limited to embarkment and disembarkment points along the way. We have a ticket for a specified time to visit Anne Frank’s home in Amsterdam, and have laid-out specific sites that we need to see in Venice and Athens. We’re doing organized shore excursions to a farmer’s market in Slovenia, historic sites in Sibenik, a cable car ride in Croatia, plus walks around Montenegro, Corfu, Olympia, Santorini, and Ancient Greece. We have also scheduled spa appointments and dinner reservations. Not a day goes by where there is not a structured plan. It almost sounds exhausting, but it’s the only way to see and do the things we want to explore. I’m surprised that we are not restricted to toilet times. There will be no time for depression, but rest and “my time” will be badly needed once we return.

I’m not making fun of depression, a malady that I’ve had to deal with several times in my life. Some people never recover, while others take their own lives. I’ve been on medication on two different occasions that resolved some issues but created others, and to a lesser degree began to take Vitamin D3 and use a “Happy Lamp” to counter the lack of sunshine when we first moved here to Portland. Furthermore, I have sought professional therapy and tried to prepare for potential depression that others have experienced in the transition from a fulfilling career to retirement. Honestly, I have been too busy in retirement to allow the cloud of depression to settle over me. It does rear its ugly head when I don’t get to do what I want to do because money, illness, loneliness, or injury gets in the way. These are the four major challenges of old age that every retiree has to overcome in avoiding serious depression. It’s possible to have a really bad day in retirement, but much more likely that the worse days are behind me in trying to balance career, family, and education. Now, a bad day is nothing but a selfish pout when I can’t stay home and avoid reality.