Last night, it was my wife’s turn to joyfully reconnect with an old high school friend. They were Zebras together back in Rochester, Indiana, just down the road from my high school in Elkhart. While they chatted about the good old days over dinner & wine, her classmate’s husband and I tried to establish some common ground. We had all gotten together for the first time back in Austin where all of us lived nearly 10 years ago, and I remembered very little about our initial conversation. It takes some time to loosen the rust from a school girl relationship, so we let the women catch-up while we made small talk. We politely got along, obligated to keep each other entertained while the two of them got back together again after all these years. 

I have two high school classmates that live here in Portland, so I know the value of lasting friendships. We were also together at Indiana University, so our connection dates back over 50 years. My wife is 5 years younger, and at our age many former friends are lost through attrition, so getting together is often now or never. Fortunately, in every circle of friendship there’s always at least one that forms the glue that keeps everyone together. My wife’s friend is one of those people, who happened to be visiting Portland. In this case, their reunion took place over 2200 miles away from our original Hoosier homeland. It made me reflect on my own past. 

My 50th high school reunion is approaching next summer and I have mixed feelings about attending. Three of my best friends from high school have died, and I have not done a good job of staying in touch with the rest – nor have they with me!  The two friends here in Portland are a year younger and therefore part of the graduating class behind me, so they are not part of this upcoming reunion plan. There were over 1000 people in my senior class and only a few that I miss or ever even think about. I was known by the nickname “Smiley” that I could never find endearing. Many probably only know me by that name, so it may not be a reunion at all but rather just another networking event, with me wondering why I never connected with all of these fellow students that also roamed the hallowed halls?

I have but only one Facebook friend out of these 1,000 in my class alone, and she was never part of my inner-circle back then. She organizes our reunions and simply uses social media to communicate with her fellow EHS Blue Blazers. I have one other indirect FB connection through the daughter-in-law of who was once my closest pal. I now know of his grandchildren, but little is left of our friendship that seemed to have deteriorated as a result my divorce nearly 20-years years ago. We’ve only gotten together on occasion since that time, with my new marriage and moves to Illinois, Texas, and Oregon. I can’t really explain what happened other than the fact that life got in the way. I have to smile when I see his grandson on Facebook because it reminds me of how he looked when we first met in elementary school- braces and all!

I have stayed in touch with the wife of a close high school friend. My wife and I had dinner with the two of them just before he passed away suddenly. We had sadly discussed the death of another best buddy before I took her to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. Together we ceremoniously spread her husband’s ashes along the right field line – something I will never forget. My wife’s reunion with her friend last night was a somber reminder that neither of these great friends will be attending my high school reunion. Another close friend that I would have enjoyed seeing was found dead at his laboratory office on Thanksgiving morning long ago, so he will not be there either. I have a photo with these three lost com-padres at our 20th reunion, the last time we all got together. I could also not help but think of how close the spelling was of the last name of my wife’s classmate compared to my friend’s widow – double “pp” instead of “tt.” It was a subtle reminder of how precious friendship can be, and that some reunions unfortunately never come to pass!