If I were working, I would have been enjoying a long, 3-day weekend, followed by a Tuesday that feels like a Monday. Retirees like myself have found that every day is now the same, and it’s no longer necessary to count the days until the weekend. If it weren’t for my younger, working wife, I honestly wouldn’t know what day it is. She helps me keep track of Fridays, Holidays, Vacations, and Weekends, those favorite days of the working class. I graduated from that class a year-and-a-half ago, and am now a Senior forever. Fortunately, I have a generous pension, Social Security, and an IRA to help pay the bills that 40 hours a week or more once covered. These benefits do not provide the income that I once had, but my working wife keeps us in a comfortable lifestyle with extensive travel. She will hopefully join me in a few years, and the fruits of her labor will allow us to travel together even more.

I’m trying to do my best to help at home, but I don’t have the eye that my wife does. I was dusting before vacuuming, not keeping the shutters clean, and not doing a satisfactory job of mopping, among other no-nos. I did hire a company to do some deep cleaning a few months ago and that made her happy. However, it was expensive, and I’m not sure I can work a cleaning crew into our household budget. I simply have to learn to do a better job, with no short-cuts. Today, I’m mopping floors, beginning with the sweeping and dusting. At the same time, I’m also doing laundry, consciously trying to do a better job with this job, as well. It seems like I’m getting C’s for effort while my supervisor is demanding A’s. I’m waiting for my next review. The point is that while I’m not working I still have several jobs. I just seem to be ineffective and unproductive at most of them.

As far as cooking I’ve had several weeks off. I’ve committed to preparing dinner one night a week in retirement, usually on Tuesdays. This week’s plan is “Beer Can Chicken,” that has gotten great reviews the past couple of times I’ve prepared it. We’re trying to stay low-carb, so the recipe fits that goal, and the weather has been ideal for outside grilling. However, it’s been moved to Thursday. We still tend to eat-out three times a week, while “Meatless Monday” no longer works with the new diet. Our weekly “Date Night” dining appointment has been somewhat disrupted by business meetings and travel, so the weekly routine is in flux. Even “Movie Night” shifted from Saturday to Sunday. This only further confuses me on what day it is.

Although retirement has resulted in diminished income for me, I still claim to have some value. While my wife does most of the pet pampering, I do all the grunt work. Since we pay out $75-$100 a day in pet care, I’m in charge at least 280 days a year, making my services worth about $20,000 a year. I figured this on the very low end, since a pet review from my wife would certainly show much need for improvement, just like cooking and cleaning. I would particularly rank low in coddling, but this is why the pups are so excited to see her when she gets home from work. To add to today’s value, I also stripped the labels off empty wine bottles, preparing them to be refilled by my wine friends. I help them on occasion with pruning, picking, hauling, pressing, racking, and drinking their hobby-produced Pinot Noir. I am their leading consumer, so they further entice me with cookies and Diet Coke, and seem to be happy with my work. That’s what they told me during my last work review.