I had to launder some more money this morning. After vowing to only pick up silver coins on the streets, I found two this morning – a dime and a nickel. I scrubbed them and my hands thoroughly when I got home from the daily run. It’s still a good sign to spot a penny on the ground but no longer worth bending over. I considered the coins I found this morning to be a silver lining, after a couple of days of tough self-doubt along with some air conditioning problems. 

First of all, I was wary about getting no feedback on my recent attempt at a novel. I did get some edits back from the publishing company that really didn’t mean much. However, I had given a copy to my two closest friends here in Portland to read and it had been over a week since I heard from either of them. It’s a tough responsibility to read someone else’s work, let alone provide criticism. I appreciated their willingness and as it turned out, perseverance. The story of a serial killer that I wrote was shocking even to me, but personally entertaining to write. Too many times in the tedious process, I found myself embarrassed with the despicable, foul nature of the character that I created. Where did this come from? I wasn’t sure if I really wanted anyone else to read it, so I was somewhat prepared for some bad reviews. 

They ambushed me at lunch yesterday. I guess I expected them to say that they hadn’t had time to read it or were just reluctant to give me the bad news. No. They thoroughly read, took notes, and provided very constructive feedback. It was hard to digest, along with my lunch, and I brooded about it the rest of the day in conjunction with our air conditioning woes. I was, of course, hoping that they loved it, but even I didn’t love it. The decision is now up to me – scrap it entirely and start on something else or try to salvage what I have. There were several issues with continuity and character development. They felt it didn’t have much drama or a likable character. Despite all the problems, they made the effort to wade through my work. They were two good friends!

This morning I’m a little less sensitive about my “ugly baby,” and ready to take the next step. My friends and I have always joked about “finding the rainbow,” especially with my pessimistic attitude.  Today, I see the silver lining in their comments and will try to put a new outfit on the baby to make it less ugly. It will be good to get back into the writing  process with a new direction. I’m going to start by adding a couple chapters about specific characters and eliminating what they implied was irrelevant fluff. Maybe I’ll re-title it “The Rainbow Killer” with minimal gore, less offensive language, and a kinder, gentler, murderer.  At the very least, I need to make it readable. So, “A Silver Lining Take Two” on A+ Killer is in now officially the works, with a little help from my friends.