Today's thoughts

Category: CREATURE FEATURES (Page 35 of 37)

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! (Plus dogs and cats)

Retirement is not without Hassles: Firecracker #162

My wife and I enjoy seeing fireworks.  The dogs, not so much!  Tinker, our eldest schnauzer,  has her “Thunder Shirt,” that provides some comfort around noisy storms and loud noises.  Typically, we go back home, to Indiana, for the 4th of July, but we went early this year.  We’re trying to make plans for here in Portland, but do not want the hassle of going downtown for the Blues Festival.  We did that two years ago, for our first Fourth in Portland, as both of our employers were sponsors of the event.  Since I’m now retired and my wife now works for the competition, it would not be appropriate for us to attend.

We did not see any fireworks at the ballpark last week, but between Epcot, Greek Festival, Navy Pier, Padre Island, Galveston, Paris, Conner Prairie, Rome, and Sky Concerts we’ve certainly seen our share of great firework displays.  My wife teases me about my lack of hearing, whether that be physical or mental.  I blame it on the rock concerts and loud fireworks that I’ve had the pleasure of watching through the years.  I hope this year is no exception.

Fireworks

.

I don’t hear well,
What did you say?
Sometimes I get it,
But there’s a delay.
.
Could you repeat that?
I’ve said too many times.
Like trying to communicate,
With one of those mimes.
.
Sometimes when I listen,
It just isn’t clear.
Like a firecracker exploded,
Right next to my ear.
.
Am I getting old?
Have grown inattentive?
My undivided interest,
Is the least I can give.
.
It’s not intentional,
I Love You too much.
I value your words,
And crave your touch.
.
It’s annoying to you,
And with that short fuse.
I don’t mean to set you off,
Or your patience abuse.

.

What did you say?
I just couldn’t hear.
There was a loud bang,
Followed by a cheer.

.

Please say that again,
When the ringing clears.
Here’s my new promise:
To lend you my ears.

.

Copyright 2003 Johnstonwrites.com

Old Sport Shorts: I.U. Wins It All! #161

We recently returned to Indianapolis, and while my wife took her mother to see an ear doctor, I spent some time with some old friends.  We went to Syd’s Tavern in Noblesville and shared some sports memories.  He is a sports memorabilia collector and she was a former client, who bought radio and television advertising.  I hadn’t seen them in nearly a decade, but we quickly reconnected like time wasn’t really a factor.  I had met Bill as a result of my business relationship with her, and discovered much in common, including the Chicago White Sox and Indiana University.  I would love to have many of the items in Bill’s massive collection, and built my modest “man-cave” because of his influence.  We’ve attended many games together, but our most memorable experience occurred in March of 1987.

Indiana University, our Alma Mater, was the NCAA Tournament #1 Seed in the Midwest Regional, and won its first two games in our then home town of Indianapolis.  My good friend Peter and I were there to watch them easily beat both Fairfield and Auburn, on what was essentially I.U.’s home court, just up the road from Bloomington.  At that time, conversations started brewing about following the team through the tournament, as the next game was also close-by in Cincinnati against Duke.  I conveniently planned to be in Cincinnati that Friday on business, so I was able to score a single ticket and watch Coach Bob Knight’s Hoosiers defeat Coach K’s Blue Devils 88-82.  The excitement was building!  The Regional Championship game in Cincy against L.S.U. was on Sunday, so Peter and I were forced to watch it on TV.   I.U. was nine points behind with less than 5 minutes remaining, and I remember that our dreams of going to the Final Four in New Orleans were in deep jeopardy.  Somehow, with six seconds on the clock an injured Ricky Calloway, who grew up in Cincinnati, put in the winning shot for an Indiana 77-76 victory.  After the game, we decided to go to New Orleans, whether we had tickets or not!

Bill, through his University connections, was able to get good tickets and called in need of a ride.  Peter had a place for us to stay, so my job boiled down to securing a vehicle.  We were meeting two of Peter’s friends in Bowling Green, Kentucky and added one other passenger, Mark, from Indianapolis.  The plan was to leave from my office parking lot with the four of us and pick up the other two at the Holiday Inn, just off of I-65.  The final piece of the puzzle came together after a business acquaintance of mine was able to get us a van.  We’d take Friday off, leave late in the day on Thursday, share the all-night driving responsibilities, and get to New Orleans sometime on Friday.  It was about an 850 mile trek that would take 12 to 13 hours to complete, so it seemed easy enough with each of us driving a couple of hours on four-lane highways.  We decorated the van with red and white signs and team flags, and I sat in my office eagerly anticipating a 3 p.m. departure.

About two hours before we were ready to leave, I got an emotional call from Peter, who was the main instigator of the trip.  He was the one who had the connections for our rooms in New Orleans, and had extended the invitations to the two guys in Bowling Green and to Mark.  Unfortunately, Peter’s father had just passed away in upstate New York, so he wouldn’t be able to go with us.  As a result, Bill and I would be traveling with three total strangers to the Final Four.  Plus, we didn’t even know each other that well back then.  I was certainly sympathetic for Peter’s loss, but he wanted the trip to go on despite his absence.  I was concerned, but the van was packed, tickets were in-hand, and five willing drivers were anxious to hit the road!

The three of us from Indianapolis met in the parking lot and made the appropriate introductions.  Mark seemed like the great guy, as Peter assured me he would be.  I volunteered to drive first and anxiously turned the ignition key.  Nothing happened!  The battery was dead, so I went back into the office and called for assistance.  Keep in mind, there were no cell phones at that time, so communication was a little more difficult.  A tow-truck arrived about an hour later.  In the meantime, the car dealer who loaned me the van had decided that another van would be the best option, so the revised plan was to follow the tow-truck to the dealership and make the exchange. The tow-truck driver was intent on removing the signs and flags from the vehicle, but we couldn’t lower the windows that secured the flags, so he had to take the time and trouble to jump-start the battery.   Apparently, the flags were blocking his vision behind the van-in-tow.  I was beginning to think he was a jealous Kentucky fan! Another hour passed.

We all hopped in one car and drove to the dealership that was inconveniently located on the opposite side of town.  The dealer then had to transfer the plates and paperwork, while we redecorated the van.  As we were exiting that parking lot, the van died.  Fortunately, the battery in that van was still working, so we were easily able to remove the flags and move to our third van of the afternoon.  Another two hours had gone by, and we were forty-five minutes north of where we initially started.  I was just glad that we didn’t break-down in a remote highway location.  However, we were supposed to be in Bowling Green already, instead we were at least four hours away.!  Furthermore, none of us in the van knew these other guys, what their names were, or how we were supposed to get in contact with them?  Peter was already on a flight to New York to make funeral arrangements, so he couldn’t help.  I didn’t think to ask those details while we were talking about his father.  A cell phone would have come in handy!

Finally, we were on the road and decided that since we were so late, we should call the Holiday Inn in Bowling Green.  We stopped just south of Indianapolis to use a pay phone, and a half-hour later, I finally got through to the bartender.  While I was in the phone booth, Bill moved over to take my place in the driver’s seat.  While he accelerated, I recounted the conversation, explaining that Peter’s friends had gotten to the bar early for Happy Hour, so they were already through a six-pack.  We were still over 3 hours away from picking them up, so they undoubtedly wouldn’t be fit to drive once we arrived.  At least. they knew we were on our way.  They had not been aware that our mutual friend had lost his father, but at least they knew the people we were supposed to stay with in New Orleans.  Fortunately, Bill  didn’t drink alcohol, so he continued to drive, while Mark and I enjoyed a couple of beers.  They were already starting to get warm after the cooler had been moved from van to van. Unfortunately, a traffic accident blocked our way!

Ten hours after the time when we originally had planned to leave, we arrived at the Holiday Inn.  It was approaching 1 a.m, and nearly seven hours later than anticipated. Our two new friends had been pounding beers since Happy Hour, so our first encounter with these strangers was worthy of a comedy skit.  They didn’t say their names and preferred to be called by what they were drinking.  As a result, they were know as “Bud” and “Lite Beer by Miller” for the rest of our time together.  Mark tried to catch up with them, as they passed a couple of  joints between them. I did not join them at the time, as Bill had no interest.  We stayed alert while the “Three Stooges” thankfully soon passed out in the back seat.  My sober collector-friend, Bill, was still at the wheel as a blanket of fog completely blocked our vision.   I kept an eye out for cops as our highway speed dropped to under 25 m.p.h., and the snoring in the back escalated.  As the hours slowly passed, I eventually relieved Bill at dawn after a short nap, so he could get some well deserved shut-eye.  About that time, “Bud” started to rally and graciously offered to buy Bill dinner for staying up all night.  He and Bill hit-it-off quickly, relieving my anxiety about Bill’s reaction to the pot smoking.  He didn’t say anything, but I only really knew him through his wife.  Mark and “Lite Beer by Miller” were still out cold, as we continued our foggy journey through Alabama.  It was quickly approaching “high” noon, as the van filled with marijuana smoke and empty beer can rattled against each other under the seats. It was also nearly 20 hours since our original departure time, and we still weren’t there.

There was more beer drinking and pot smoking, as Bill preferred to stay behind the wheel.  He had a restless couple of hours sleep, as I continued to fight the fog, but once the “beer twins” woke up, the van started rockin’.  They found a radio station to their liking, and continued to charm Bill.  They guided him into New Orleans and to our residence just across the river from the Superdome.  The reality of finally getting there was starting to set in, as we had all become fast friends.  There was a rally that night at the Hilton, official team headquarters, and Bourbon Street to explore.  No one seemed too concerned about where we were staying, until we walked in!

The location was great and we had plenty of room, but the entire duplex was stripped to the bare two-by-fours.  Red spray paint, marking the construction plans, looked more like the Manson murders had just happened before we arrived.  Did we somehow miss the crime scene tape on the way in?  The only pieces of “furniture” were one mattress and four lawn chairs situated around the table saw.  There was saw dust everywhere and you could see through the floorboards.  Furthermore, it was unusually cold outside, and there was no heat.  We all agreed to let Bill have the mattress, since he did most of the driving, and we bought him dinner at Pat O’Brien’s that night to further show our appreciation.   Prior to dinner, we met our fellow fans, Coach Knight and the players at the hotel that was directly across the river from our luxurious quarters.  We wore our red, sang the fight song, and wished the team well in their game against once-defeated #1 U.N.L.V.  Their only loss was to Oklahoma after a disputed bucket was incorrectly ruled two points instead of three.  The “Runnin’ Rebels” fan-base were all decked out in attitude and gold chains, as they displayed blatant overconfidence.  We tried to ignore them and spent most of the night on French Quarter bar stools, before taking the ferry back to the wrong side of the river.

I left the “comfort” of my lawn chair bed on Saturday morning with a gnawing headache.  There was one more rally before the big game, so we crossed the Mississippi from Algiers Point, once again.  “Bud” and “Lite Beer by Miller” did not come back last night to take their place around the table saw, stacked precariously with empty beer cans.  The place was starting to look more like a Frat House and less like a murder scene.  Bill, Mark, and I at least tried to get some sleep rather than prowl the bars. Hopefully, the Hoosier team was getting a good night’s rest, and the beer twins had been entertaining the “Runnin’ Rebels” all night.   We would need all the help we could get!  When we got to the Hilton, there was a giant I.U. banner hanging above us, that apparently I just couldn’t live without.  It was attached to a projection screen that moved up and down via a switch in the control room.  If I could get someone to lower the screen, I could easily run off with the banner.  Obviously, I had alcohol poisoning and wasn’t thinking clearly, but I went to maintenance and told them, “Coach Knight wants us to get that banner over to the Dome.”  I think he was ready to flip the switch and lower the banner, but changed his mind once he spoke to a supervisor.  It could have been a focal point of Bill’s collection, or mine, if I had been able to pull that off.   We walked to the Dome empty-handed.

The five of us had a variety of seat locations at the Dome, none of which were together.  Bill had the best seats, so I sat with him.  Mark had met some woman named Mary, and was up in the nose-bleed section sucking face with her.  I hope his wife didn’t mind!  “Bud” and “Lite Beer by Miller” were probably still drinking Hurricanes on Bourbon Street.  I’m not sure they were even at the game.  It was the first NCAA tournament where the players had the benefit of the three-point shot, that would surely be to Steve Alford’s benefit.  It was like the movie, Hoosiers, as most of the experts didn’t think that Indiana would be able to contain the dynamic U.N.L.V duo of Armon Gilliam and Freddie Banks.  Others felt that I.U. would have to slow the pace of the game down to even have a chance.  It was stacking up to be the classic battle of the “Good Guys” against the “Outlaws.”  I didn’t realize it at the time but we were part of the largest crowd to ever see a college basketball game.  Bob Knight elected to run with the Rebels and devised a plan to beat their full-court pressure.  The result was a 97-93 victory, despite a record ten 3-pointers from Freddie Banks.  Coach Jerry Tarkanian, “Tark the Shark” choked on his towel.  Steve Alford had 33 points for the “Good Guys,” and we’d be staying in New Orleans for at least two more days!

“Ain’t no Sunshine when she’s gone,” became the U.N.L.V. parting blues song on Bourbon Street.  “Ding-Dong the witch is dead,” as Indiana prepared for Syracuse on Monday night.  Bill continued to show his maturity, while the rest of us acted like kids in a liquor store.  He got some rest while we sampled the wares up and down The Quarter.  After all, he had the mattress and we had the lawn chairs.   Mark continued to hang out with Mary, so I partied with “Bud” and “Lite Beer by Miller.”  We probably had 3 hours of sleep in the four nights we were there.  There was another rally on Monday, but the banner was missing.  Maybe someone else stole it?  Being in the Championship Game in New Orleans was almost like a dream.  I sat next to Bill and covered my eyes as Syracuse dominated the game.  It wasn’t until the last few minutes that I peeked through my fingers, as Rony Seikaly continued to miss free throws for The Orangemen.  I simply couldn’t watch as Keith Smart launched the winning shot.  However, Bill  pried my hands away, insisting that we didn’t drive this far to not watch the end.  “The Shot” a famous photograph that captured that historic moment, must have been taken very near where we were sitting.  Also, CBS produced the very first  “One Shining Moment,” following that exciting 74-73 finish.  It’s been a tournament tradition ever since.  I’m glad that Bill made me watch!

We left for home immediately following the game, since we all needed to be back at work the next morning.  Honestly, none of us really expected to stay through Monday, but somehow scraped our funds together,  The room was at least free, but they should have been paying us to stay there.  The construction crew had returned that morning to wake us up, so we packed everything into the van and parked near the dome for a quick get-away after the game.  Bill volunteered to drive us back, probably for his own safety.  He even battled the darkness and a freak, blinding snow storm, reminiscent of the fog on the trip down.  We were all powered by adrenaline, having witnessed a moment of sports history we will never forget.  Mark daydreamed about Mary.

As I write this story over 30 years later, I’m sure I forgot a few details and exaggerated everything but the extent of our drinking.  I see my friend Peter on a regular basis, and just had the reunion with Bill.  Peter continues to stay in touch with “Bud” and “Lite Beer by Miller,” and I’ve followed them both through Facebook.  Mark is still with his wife, with Mary as a faint memory.  I had been to New Orleans in 1982 for my very first Final Four experience, so to return with my Indiana team as the victor made it even more special.  Coincidentally, I recently stumbled across a framed copy of the front page of the Indiana Daily Student, dated March 31, 1987. (See Post #60).  I was surprised to find it in Portland, Oregon of all places, where pot is now legal, by the way.  It hangs in my office, where the I.U. banner from New Orleans should have hung, if that maintenance guy would have just flicked that switch.  The headline reads, “IU Wins It All!”  I know – I was there!

.

Old Sport Shorts: My Kind Of Town #156

My wife is working today in Chicago, so I’m doing my retirement thing here in “My Kind of Town.”  The nice thing about retirement is that it can be done from anywhere.  She did seem a bit jealous this morning, as she went one direction to make calls and I went the other for a Diet Coke.  However, I think that today will be considerably easier on her than the past few days of tending to the demands of her 95-year-old mother:  errands, closet cleaning, bank duties, dining, cemetery, wheelchair pushing, and the frustrating efforts to communicate.  We’re both glad to be away from the assisted-living environment that doesn’t exactly exude positive vibes.

Technically, it’s “Date Night,” so she’ll have yet another reason to want to get back home as soon as possible.  We’re going to a White Sox game tonight and  she’d undoubtedly rather “set her hair on fire” than watch baseball and eat hot-dogs.  Only I am looking forward to Date Night this week!  If she had her way, we’d probably be paying top dollar to see Hamilton, or at least go back to Joe’s Stone Crab for seafood and Sancerre.  That’s where we started this journey a few days ago to bring us back home to Indiana.  We did stop by to see the frozen-tongue of Flick stuck to the flagpole from the Christmas Story at the Indiana Welcome Center next door to our hotel.  It’s often the main highlight of these quarterly trips back to visit, if that gives you any idea of the level of excitement sometimes associated with this treks to the Hoosier State.   We’re in a different hotel room every night, up early every morning, and sluggish from our daily intake of fast food.  Not to mention, exhausted from long flights, traffic hassles associated with hours in a rental car, and conversations with her nearly deaf mother, often written on a dry-erase board.  I’m proud to say though that we had no major disagreements, other than where to turn.

My mother-in-law is a big sports fan, although apparently this wasn’t always the case.  It certainly didn’t rub off on her daughters!  We did take her parents to their very first Cubs game at Wrigley Field nearly 18 years ago.  Mark Grace was her favorite player at that time.  It’s probably because of her hearing issues that sports became the focal point of her television viewing after my father-in-law passed away.  She could easily follow games without dealing with closed captioning, and always tuned-in for Cubs games   It’s become a common bond between the two of us, and gives my wife a break during our visits.  We watched them play the Nationals the last couple nights, bemoaning their sluggish first half of the season.   We also were at Wrigley Field for last year’s World Series games 4 and 5, and watched game six from Cleveland with her at the assisted living home.  Honestly, if the Cubs were in town tonight we would have undoubtedly gone to Wrigley Field rather than Guaranteed Rate where the White Sox play.  However, since the Sox are playing the Yankees, the game will definitely bring back many memories. (See post #148: Summer baseball)

I haven’t seen the Yankees play in Chicago since 1960 when my dad took me to a game at original Comiskey Park.  I had just become a fan of the White Sox and their catcher, #10 Sherm Lollar, most likely because they had played in the World Series the previous year.  My had dad actually talked me out of being a Yankees fan that previous year in favor of a team closer to our Indiana home.  He hated the Yankees, but didn’t exactly have the White Sox in mind as my team of choice.  He was a Tigers and Cubs fan, and was hoping that I would follow suit.  Because of his efforts, I was a frustrated baseball fan for 46 years until the White Sox finally won it all.  I could have been an obnoxious Yankee fan, like so many others I’ve known through the years!

Original Comiskey Park and its exploding scoreboard named “The Monster” was right next door to where they built the new Comiskey Park – U.S. Cellular Field .  Just last year it was re-named Guaranteed Rate Field.  My White Sox finally won the World Series in 2005 in the new Comiskey Park, and I had the pleasure of attending a couple of those games. It was the last time I saw a game played there, even though we drive by it all the time on our route to and from Indiana.  Unfortunately, during the last dozen years, the team has been consistently “down,” and many White Sox fans, like myself,  are concerned about the Guaranteed Rate association with the stadium and their logo that consists of a giant red, downward pointed arrow.  Don’t  rub it in!

I return to the field tonight, after 12 years of enjoying season tickets with the Cubs, while struggling to maintain my childhood loyalty to the White Sox.  I’ve attended a couple of “Crosstown Classic” rivalry games at Wrigley in the meantime, so I didn’t totally forget about my allegance.  I’ve also worn my White Sox jersey to a several Mariner’s games up in Seattle, since moving to nearby Portland.  I’ve been to Yankee Stadiums, old and new, several times in the last few decades.  In fact, my wife and I went to see the Yankees and Cleveland play in 1999 in original Yankee Stadium.  We were just dating at the time, so we both made compromises.  Instead of hot dogs we tried Dippin’ Dots for the first time, and between innings some guy told us to “get a room.”   Six years later, as a married couple, we made a second compromise and went to see a Civic Theater presentation of “Damn Yankees,” with a show-stopping performance by the one-and-only Jerry Lewis.  That was probably the best trade-off we ever made between her love of Theater and mine of Baseball.

Ironically. before we started dating, my wife had access to tickets through one of her suppliers, and got me seats to take my ex-father-in-law to a Yankees game in Tampa at Tropicana in 1998.  He was one of those obnoxious Yankee fans, that I could have been just like if it weren’t for my dad.  I saw those “Damn Yankees” beat the Red Sox in 2009 at new Yankee stadium, and repeat the feat against the Rays in 2004 at the old stadium.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever watched them lose.  Hopefully, tonight will be the first time they go down in flames, and that my wife won’t set her hair on fire, instead of enjoying the game!

Retirement is not without Hassles: White Noise #149

Just before I retired, as I began to count down the days, meetings and conversations about work were nothing but “White Noise.”  I was painfully aware that words were being spoken with the intent to educate and motivate, but I didn’t hear them.  It was like I had muted the TV or put my ear buds in to listen to something else instead.  What?

My wife complains that I say that word “What?” entirely too many times.  It’s a bad habit and I use it whether I don’t hear, can’t hear, or don’t understand what she is saying.  It may very well be a hearing deficiency, but to a greater degree it’s an attention deficiency.  I don’t mean to be rude or disrespectful of what she says, my mind just can’t pull it all in.  All I get are bits and pieces of what is said, often stuck on one word that I didn’t fully understand.  Or worse yet, my mind often wanders, easily distracted by people, animals, and sounds around me.  My iWatch and iPhone don’t help matters, constantly alerting me to breaking news, sport scores, and e-mails.

This is why we have Date Night, so we can get away from distractions around the house, and enjoy a fully attentive conversation.  Yes, there are moments where one or the other of us pulls out our phone, or the restaurant is too loud to talk comfortably, but most of our Date Nights are a success in togetherness.  Last night, it was Jack Rabbit, a new restaurant in downtown Portland.  Date Night (see post #55) by definition means mid-week dining in a restaurant that we have never been to before.   In retirement, it’s often times the only way that I know it’s Wednesday, and not just any other day of the week.  During Date Night, my wife vents about work or family and I give her 100% of my attention, if that’s even possible.  There were a few “Whats?”  This particular restaurant was loud, our server a bit obnoxious, the service very slow, but the food quite good and our conversation steady.

As my wife talks about work, I find it to be personally relaxing, but I can see the stress in her eyes.  It reminds me how glad I am to be retired and not having to deal with supervision, discipline, frustrating clients, and corporate nonsense.  I remember when I was 5 years away from calling it quits, as she is now, and seeing that finish line so far away.  It has to be difficult for her to know that I’ve already crossed it.  She’s happy for me, though, because I’m truly happier.  I no longer hear the “White Noise” of the work week.

Years ago, my wife and I had a dinner with another couple at their Country Club.  He and I had a lot in common and were becoming fast friends.  We had gotten together for the first time to introduce our wives and share some stories about their two daughters that had coincidentally attended the same college.  We enjoyed many laughs that evening, but the one take-away was her teasing him about being nothing but “White Noise.”  When she spoke, he would predictably zone-out, claiming to hear nothing but “White Noise.”   They had been married for at least 25 years, so for them it was fair game.  Personally, I wouldn’t have touched that subject with a ten foot pole, but I clearly saw the humor in it.  I wrote this poem in honor of that conversation and to better clarify the meaning of “White Noise.”  It has nothing to do with the relationship between my wife and I, but rather other couples I’ve watched throughout the years.

 

White Noise

.

You start talking
Your tongue on a roll.
I try to listen,
But my mind gets full.
.
Your mouth is moving,
But it’s nothing but a blur.
I’m not sure how much of this,
I can honestly endure.
.
You abruptly stop,
Ask me to repeat.
I stare back with,
A look of defeat.
.
I want to cover my ears,
As your ruby lips flap.
I once heard sweet notes,
Now out flows crap.
.
“You just don’t listen,”
I hear you say.
Then you go on…
And on all day.
.
You’re White Noise,
White Noise is all I hear.
Can’t you just whisper,
Sweet nothings in my ear.
.
Word regurgitation,
Feedback’s all I hear.
An Ear Drum explosion,
Is my greatest fear.
.
Can’t get a word in,
Can’t even talk back.
White Noise drives me crazy,
Where’s a mole to whack?

.

She says that I don’t hear well,
But I hear all that I want.
Her words turn into White Noise,
If I’m honest and up-front.
.
It’s not that I don’t love her,
Or she’s not important to me.
It’s just she tries to say too much,
And I’m A. D. H. D.

.

Copyright 2010 johnstonwrites.com

 

 

 

 

Retirement is not without Hassles: Fathers #143

Today is Father’s Day, but like most days in retirement, just another glorious day.  I’m a father, step-father, grandfather, godfather, grand-godfather, father-in-law, father of the groom, pledge father, and fur father.  Hopefully, I’ve also been a father-figure to some and father-like to others.  I’ve had two fathers, one of which I never knew, two grandfathers, who I knew well, and two other grandfathers that may never have known that I ever existed.   My biological father was a putative father, and my adoptive father should have been awarded father of the year.  I’ve also had two fathers-in-law, but lost one in a divorce and the other to cancer.  I’ve been called both “father” and “dad,” but never “daddy,” “dada,” “pops,” or “papa,” like my friend-fathers are sometimes fondly addressed.

I’m pleased to admit that my son is a better father than I remember ever being.  I was far too absorbed in my career, as was my father.  I only knew the traditional male role, and accepted those narrow responsibilities.  Being only 22 years old, I was also never prepared to be a father, but have never regretted being one.  My son’s marriage made me both father of the groom and a father-in-law to his wife, giving me that second chance at fatherhood through grandchildren.  However, I’ve always lived too far away to take advantage.  Plus, I’m not always comfortable around children, and often find them annoying, especially on airplanes and at restaurants.  The older they get, the more I can relate, so I keep my distance and try to spoil them with Disney vacations and gifts.

For me, sports have always been the primary communication link between father and son.  It’s where most conversations started with my father, and continues to be the case with my son.  We go to sporting events together, and try to take the grand kids whenever possible.   I often show my love by writing checks; more learned behavior.   We are in the habit of saying “Love You” at the end of our conversations, something that only occurred in later years of my dad’s life.  At one point, I remember plotting a way to tell him how I felt, worried that he would go to the grave without hearing those words.

I got off to a bad start with my first father-in-law, concerned that he was not being truthful on an insurance payment due to my wife-to-be.   It was a misunderstanding that we eventually worked out.  The marriage didn’t!   When it came time to marry again, I properly asked her father’s permission for her hand.  It was a moment I will never forget, as pancreatic cancer took his life before I really got to share more time with him.   The second marriage was the first step in becoming a stepfather to two daughters.  I do feel that word “stepfather” has some negative connotations.  It’s not a very lovable word, so I try to avoid being one.

Tinker, Tally, and Frankie are my current furry children, although my fur-father responsibilities date back to just after college.  (see post #133). In college, while involved with the Sigma Chi Fraternity, I was a pledge father.  My “son” was blackballed from joining the house just after I transferred to another school.  He’s now the CEO of a major corporation, so I was glad to see he nicely rebounded from this Freshman set-back.  I was also honored to be the godfather to a college friend’s daughter, and I guess that makes me a grand-godfather after the birth of her son.  It only seemed logical that I should stuff cotton balls in my mouth and talk like Marlon Brando in this role.

For those into the Bible, Matthew 23:9 reads, “Call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven.”  Father is a title of religious superiority, and the basis for the Catholic hierarchy.  Forgive me, Father, but who’s your daddy?  Who’s Father Time’s father?  He invented the clock, right?”  Consider this fine definition of a father by an author unknown:  “A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way.”  Or, another uncredited favorite:  “A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.”

I would not be writing this if it weren’t for my biological father.  I don’t know the circumstances of why he never took responsibility for me, or if he honestly ever knew about me, for that matter.  He was a Marine, but not much of a father.  I was adopted in the first few month of my life, and given everything I possibly wanted.  It takes a special man to raise someone else’s son, and I’m proud to call him Dad. (see post #104)

Happy Father’s Day!

Retirement is not without Hassles: Countdown #139

As I go outside to run each morning, I keep trying to see “Future Mike.”  Future Mike is coming in the door, already finished with his run, while I’m just headed out that door.  Most days I wish I was Future Mike, but that’s like wishing your life away.   I know that running is good for me and I always feel better afterwards, but I don’t always enjoy the experience of sweating and breathing hard.  I’m glad it’s over for today, so I can spend some time writing.

I’m a bachelor for a couple of days while my wife attends some business meetings.  Her company is headquartered in Iowa, “Field of Dreams,” a state that is definitely not at the top of my list of retirement destinations (post #138).  Needless to say, Future Mike is not interested in living there.  Since she was gone this morning, I took the opportunity to sleep in an extra couple hours, but find myself totally disoriented.  It feels like a weekend since I stepped away from my normal routine of getting up just before my wife.  I guess that’s what made the run that much harder this morning.

The Mike of the future will probably still be running every day, and hopefully be traveling around the world.  If I can figure out a way to “Time Travel,” I’ll probably do that, too.  My future self will also be enjoying the next stages of retirement, and not reliving the dreaded Ghost of Work Past.  Maybe I’ll buy myself a DeLorean!  Seriously, I’m not sure I want to think about the future right now, just savor the present.

One way to look to the future is to do a countdown.  These are usually started when you’re looking forward to something.  For example, I did a countdown to retirement.  If I go to the Viking Cruise website, there is a countdown clock showing 277 days until our trip from Venice to Athens happens.  Fortunately, we can only count up when it comes to life, otherwise our lifetimes would be hopelessly ticking away.  I’m counting on another 30 years, but as we all know, today could be my last.  On a more exciting note, I did see a SUV this morning with a countdown to summer written on the glass windows.  It started at 10 and all the numbers were crossed off except 2 and 1.  Two days and counting until school is out and summer is here.

10  9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1 Summer

Having the summer off was always good for us kids, but posed a challenge for working parents.  The countdown for them was always the opposite, as they looked forward to the start of a new school year.  We’re currently counting down to my wife’s birthday in 5 days, but knowing her as I do, she’ll manage to stretch it for a good month.  With a little luck, maybe I can stretch my next 30 years, as well.

I remember looking forward to summers, holidays, and weekends, but now every glorious day is the same.  We’ll still celebrate my birthdays, even if there aren’t really any additional Senior Citizen discounts for me after this year.  I will therefore not be counting down the days with anticipation.  If I still stayed up until midnight on New Year’s Eve, I would gladly participate in that countdown celebration.  We’ll also start a countdown for my wife’s retirement in five years.  By the way, only one more day until she gets back home from “Field of Dreams.”

Countdowns can include fractions.  I’ve updated a poem that I wrote in the month of October over 15 years ago, that shows the art of getting the most out of each of life’s events.  I mention the month it was originally written so you don’t get spooked that Halloween is just around the corner, but it will be here before we know it.  Only 138.5 days away if you want to start a countdown!

Fractions

My loving wife has taught me,
The art of timely fractions.
For celebrating each day,
Is one of life’s satisfactions.

.

Events don’t come about,
But once a calendar year.
You shouldn’t have to wait,
Fractions keep them near.

.

Days, hours, minutes,
The seconds tick away.
Today’s yesterday’s tomorrow,
Tomorrow is soon yesterday.

.

It was just your 1/3 Birthday,
My 1/6th coming soon.
Our 16th Anniversary,
since our Vegas honeymoon.

.

Sweetest Day has Passed,
November days away.
And it’s nearly New Year,
Almost Thanksgiving Day.

.

Not quite Halloween,
But the countdown has begun.
It seems like only yesterday,
Enjoying summer’s sun.

.

As time together passes by,
More magic memories made.
But not a moment shared with her,
That I would ever trade.

.

There’s some that I’m not proud of,
Some that made us sad.
I never mean to do you wrong,
Be mean or make you mad.

.

I’ve counted every day,
Made calendars and notes.
Today’s 6701 point 5,
My diary denotes.

.

Two hundred twenty months together,
Two weeks and a couple hours.
It all adds up to a lot of love,
Gifts, Limoges and Flowers.

.

Because we love each other,
The days go by so fast.
Keeping track of fractions,
Helps to make them last.

.

I Love her more than anything,
And cherish that each day.
I’ll always give my very Best,
Not a fraction – all the way.

.

 

Retirement is not without Hassles: What’s with that Name? Part 1 #136

A name is how we are known, addressed, or referred to in life.  I seem to have some unparalleled experience when it comes to names.  In fact, I was born with a different name than what I grew up with, have had my name changed, altered and misspelled, have been labeled with a nickname, and have given my name to others.  I’ve also named several businesses, animals, and children, and been called a few names in the process.  As a result, I tend to be very sensitive when it comes to the precious brand that each of us possesses through our name.

I was born Jerry Lee Bannister by a mother I never knew.  The adoption agency called me “Mickey,” maybe because of my big ears.  Correspondence to my prospective parents stated “your Mickey is quite a boy,”  but my parents fortunately put a stop to that.  My legal name for life then became Michael Lee Johnston, however my friends called me, “Smiley.”

When I got in the business world, I began to emphasize that my last name was “Johnston with a T,” since it was often mistaken as simply Johnson.  Fortunately, very few misspelled the name “Mike,” whereas “Michael” could get some vowels reversed on occasion.   For many years, I let these misspellings go unchallenged, but soon realized the importance of protecting my brand.  This became particularly significant in the age of e-mail, since misspelling meant non-delivery.  I am very specific with the “T,” and my wife has become equally emphatic.

Wives are typically quite familiar with name changes, since this hassle many times accompanies the marriage licensing process.  Some women maintain their maiden names, while others use hyphenated versions.  My wife, for example, changed her legal name to Johnston, but maintains her maiden name for business purposes.  It gets a bit confusing at times, but she established brand recognition for her maiden name in business long before she met me, although she also used a hyphenated version in her previous marriage.  Name changes through marriages are a sign of the times.

I suppose I could have been Mickey Bannister-Johnston, Jerry Lee Johnston, Michael Bannister, or Mike Johnston, instead the nickname “Smiley” eventually prevailed over all other options.  I did have a wide smile and a big mouth growing up, so it was probably an appropriate label to give me.  It started at a week-long camp that I attended in Junior High School.  I didn’t like the name, “Smiley,” and couldn’t wait for camp to end so I could get my identity back.  However, it caught on and spread through the school like wild fire.  I fought it all through high school.  It wasn’t that it was a bad name; it just wasn’t my name.

I definitely had an identity crisis throughout High School, and hated to use the phone where you always needed to identify yourself.  If I said it was “Mike” or “Michael,” they didn’t know who was calling, and I refused to call myself “Smiley.”  This was particularly problematic when it came time for a prom date.  We would all gather at a classmate’s house and try to muster confidence to make that critical call, with the guidance and support of close friends.  I hid in the corners, or pretended to make calls, and would finally have to make the “ask” face-to-face at school.  I honestly think this aversion to the phone eventually affected my ability to make cold-calls in business, and my reluctance to participate in group call-outs.  I learned to hate the phone!  With today’s technology, we finally have Caller ID, so I no longer have to fumble through an explanation on who is calling.

“Smiley” no longer exists, and “Jerry Bannister” is my second Facebook identity.  I used my birth name in an attempt to make connections with the Bannister family name.  This came about as part of my efforts to learn the identity and whereabouts of my birth mother.  I had to rely on the help of a few close friends to get me started with this page, but now I have hundreds of Bannister, Banister, Bannistor,  and even Bannester friends on Facebook.  Unfortunately, I have not been able to find a connection with my birthmother, Edna Faye Bannister, presumably of Rome, Georgia. (See post #104:  Dual Identity).  I do, however, wish Jerry Bannister a happy birthday every year on Facebook.  I hardly ever forget since it’s the same day as mine!

Giving another a name is a privilege and happens only rarely in life.  It usually starts with a pet.  For example, I was able to name my dog “Smiley,” hoping that it would become his brand rather than mine.  I also helped in the naming of Tinker and Tally, our two schnauzers.  (See post #133:  Puppy Love).  I have yet to name a cat, and the names I came up with for a white mouse, a chameleon, some fish, and a few turtles have escaped me.  I’m sure they were clever!  I also helped name my son, Adam.  He was named after the actor Pernell Roberts, who played Adam Cartwright in the T.V. series, Bonanza.  I also gave my son Adam his middle-name of Michael.  This happened, as I recall, on the way to the hospital.  We had pretty much decided on the name Lee, since it also was the middle name of both my father and I.  Apparently, ego got in the way, so he’s Adam Michael Johnston, my favorite namesake.

I still find it touching to go to the veterinarian, with the dogs and our cat, and see the name Johnston come up for each of them – Tinker, Tally, and Frankie Johnston.  Since my family tree starts with my adoption into the Johnston family, my pets, my son, my wife, and my granddaughter are the only living Johnston ornaments on the tree.  Roxie, a schnauzer that we lost to a speeding motorist, was also a member of our exclusive Johnston household, and is buried in our hearts.  All the other Johnston cousins out there have their own tree that includes my adopted parents and grandparents that gave me the privilege of the name.

Long ago, I had the opportunity to name a business, “Hall of Ivy.”  It was a plant shop that grew to five locations with the slogan, “bringing the outdoors in.”  I had a radio jingle prepared, a logo, and hired an advertising agency.  I didn’t have much to do with the actual business, but I did some occasional “Plant Parties.”  This involved taking a truckload of house plants to a private home, and hopefully returning with only few remaining.  It was similar to  a Tupperware party in those days, where the host invited guests and received bonus plants for helping to sell them to their friends and family.

I made a common marketing mistake on the name, “Hall of Ivy.”  It was originally just a hallway of plants in a mini-mall, but “grew” well beyond that.  The business eventually also evolved into selling fresh flowers and arrangements, so the name no longer represented what was sold or it’s size.  I didn’t have that foresight when selecting the original name.  Several big companies have also made similar marketing mistakes.  One of my favorite examples is the insurance giant, “Massachusetts Mutual.”  Their original sales territory was strictly the state boundary of Massachusetts, but when legislation eventually allowed them to expand nationwide, their name would no longer represent their customer base.  “Nationwide Insurance” has a similar challenge in the international marketplace.  In what I consider to be an ingenious marketing move, “Massachusetts Mutual” simply shortened their name to “Mass Mutual,” representing the masses rather than just the state.  It was an easy fix to a short-sighted decision on the original name.

Very few of us grow up to be known by just one name.  Beyoncé, Sting. Adele, Prince, Elvis, Cher, God, Santa, and Madonna are the primary examples, not necessarily in that order.  “Smiley” might have grown to that level if I had not fought it!  Most of us have at least a first and last name, that were initially the decision of a parent.  Some of those parents were also a bit short-sighted when they named their children.  For example, the Baals should not have named their son, Harry.  Also, a name like Candy Kane, was maybe cute for young girl, but what about as an adult woman?  I struggled with finding a name for our son that kids couldn’t “make fun of.”  For example, naming a child who has big ears, “Mickey” – who would do that?  I thought I was safe with the name Adam, but the kids ended up saying Ad-dumb.  Sometimes you just can’t win!

Ask any numerologist “What’s in a name?” and they will give you some additional food for thought.  The baby books will tell you which are the most popular, but many of us are driven to find something unique.  There’s a reason why Adolph is no longer popular.  There’s also a list of the 100 most unfortunate names in human history, if you need help?  Just remember, even a “creative” twist in the spelling of a popular name, just to be different, can lead to years of frustration in communication – miss-spelled e-mails, driver’s license errors, graduation diplomas, business awards, etc.  Poor Meaghan, for example, is plagued with constantly correcting everyone’s spelling.  What’s with that name, anyway!

If you are given the honor of coming up with a name, please put some thought into it.  What’s in a Name? Everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creature Features: Puppy Love #133

I’m married to a true dog lover, so if I’m going to live with her I have to be one, too!  She feels a kindred spirit.  I’ve always been around dogs, but never wanted to put the work into owning one.  I can’t remember the circumstances of having dogs in my former marriage, but there was Smiley, the golden retriever who would stand in the shallow water of the lake for hours and stare at her reflection, and Gizmo, the schnauzer with bat ears who did nothing but bark and pee.  I probably wasn’t very helpful in their care, but they were both part of the family.

My parents did not have a dog until after I left for college.  I’m not positive how that happened, but I’m sure my younger sister was the influence.  It was a Brittany spaniel  with the creative name of Britt.  My mom was scared of dogs, in-part due to the one who bit me when I was three years old.  I still have the clipping that reads:  Boy, 3, Bitten By Dog, Gets Anti-Rabies Shot.  It was not front-page page news, but rather almost the size of a classified ad, and the poor dog was kept under “observation.”  Rabies shots are supposed to be very painful, so if I associate that with dogs, it’s no wonder I was a slow adapter to puppy love.

When I met my current wife, she had a part-Chow, part-Shepherd, named Belle that was probably scared of me.  She would not let me walk her outside the neighborhood, stopping abruptly at the edge of the housing addition, or wrapping herself around a mailbox to emphasize that we had gone far enough. I slowly got to know Belle, a critical first test in the new relationship with my wife now of 16 years.   When we eventually got married, we then adopted Tinker, making a “Disneyesque” combination.   Tinker and Belle were an inseparable pair for several years, and I slowly learned how to love.

As I think about all the dogs in my life, there are fond stories that come to mind.  Perhaps this sentimental journey is the result of recently reading, “Call of the Wild,” and watching the movie, “Megan Leavey.”  These were stories of dogs that worked hard and saved lives.  I can’t say that was the case with any of my pets.  They just simply make me smile.

I’ll start my stories with Gizmo, who was out doing her business in our back yard twenty years ago.  When I went to let her in, it was a raccoon who sauntered in instead.  It was very dark outside and both animals were about the same size, so I mistook it for the dog.  Gizmo was then trapped on the other side of the screen door barking at  the bandit, who had proceeded to boldly eat out of his food bowl.  I might not have even noticed the clever thief if it had gone straight up the stairs.  If so, it probably could have done a lot of damage, but Gizmo’s barking alerted me to the culprit.  I chased it around with a broom, three-stooges-style, while Gizmo continued to bark until the masked coon eventually got the message and fortunately ran back outside into the night.

One of my favorite Gizmo tales, was the night I stopped for To-Go at my favorite Bar-B-Q joint.  I was so hungry that I ate the baked potato like an apple on my way home.  I wanted to dig-in right away when I got to the house, but Gizmo, of course, needed to go outside  and was barking like a maniac.  I could smell the Bar-B-Q sauce as I waited patiently for her to finish, and was careful not to let another raccoon through the door.  I could just taste it, but thought better of getting the runny sauce from the pulled-pork sandwich on my new suit.  I reluctantly went into my closet to change into something more casual.  By the time I got back, there was nothing left but the empty Styrofoam container on the floor.   Giz was a chunky little dog, with not much vertical jumping ability, but somehow had gotten up on the counter and devoured my treasured sandwich, along with some cold slaw and baked beans.  I was stunned and angry, but Gizmo licked her smiling lips and held back a belch.  He was then forever known as the BBQ Gremlin.

Smiley preceded Gizmo, and was a lake dog, who absolutely loved the water.  Gizmo, like the Gremlins character he was named after, avoided water, but faithfully guarded our home from intruders.  We would lock him in the front office, with a window overlooking the street, where he could bark at all passers-by.  His radar-like ears could hear from afar any “enemy” approaching.  Unfortunately, he was immune to potty training, though we tried everything, and chose to pee on the carpeting, which is why we would confine him to that space.  It was a small room, so we could afford to replace the carpeting on a regular basis.  He also liked to poop in shoes, so we had to warn our house guests.  Smiley, on the other hand, was outdoors most of the time by choice, so we didn’t have to buy Spot Shot by the case.  Smiley got his name from me, a childhood nickname that was hard to shake.  We thought by giving the name to the dog would make my friends think twice about calling me “Smiley.”  When they did, they would get a big, hairy dog in their lap and a slobbery kiss.  I was still called “Smiley,” despite the efforts to change the habit.  It wasn’t a bad name; it just wasn’t my name.

Tinker loves BBQ, too.  Her favorite restaurant in Austin was “Rudy’s.”  Just the mention of the name “Ruuuudys” sends her into a tizzy, even years after dining there.  It was not the best brisket in town, but it was dog and family friendly with an expansive backyard patio filled with picnic tables.   She would join us at the table like she belonged there, eating her meal off of waxed paper like the rest of us.  Portland is also dog-friendly but the rainy conditions are not always suitable for sitting outside with the pups.  Tinker got to go out to eat a lot more frequently in Austin.  Tinker’s new adopted sister, Roxie, died at a young age, so Tally then became the second member of our schnauzer family. Tally does not have Tinker’s voracious appetite, but enjoys any opportunity to be outside, and tends to favor fish and vegetables.  She’s always full of joy, and walks with the confidence of a race horse.

Tinker is part-schnauzer, part-poodle and very smart, but she’s getting old.  She’s very savvy on the streets, having to fend for herself in the woods.  She wisely ate acorns to keep her digestive track active.  I especially enjoy watching her move from shadow-to-shadow as we walk, keeping her paws cool on the exposed pavement. Tally, even at 7 years old, still has a lot of puppy-like energy and now confines her chewing to stuffed animals as opposed to furniture and shoes.  She’s left a lot of scars in the wood of our bed and coffee table that we’ve yet to have refinished.  They will always serve as memories of her first year with us, dealing with separation anxiety.  Adopted animals always come with issues, but there are so many homeless pets that it feels good to give them a solid home.  There are other stories of Tinker in posts #13, #33, #67, #76, and #130.  Tally is also the subject of these posts, plus #77: Chew on This – a favorite of mine.

Both dogs love to ride in our convertible, hoping that we’ll take them for ice cream.  We have to be careful about using the words “go” or “ride” because they will get too excited for words, and their tails and ears will drop like a starter’s flag if they find they are not accompanying us.  We also have to secretly pack our suitcases for travel so they don’t get disappointed.  They are spoiled, greedy little children if they don’t get their own way, and love to have their tummies rubbed, unless there’s a cookie or food scrap that would take immediate priority.   They also like the fact that I’m retired and can spend the afternoons with them.

As we plan to travel more in the future, Tinker and Tally will probably be our last dogs, but the gravitational tug to have a dog will always be in my wife’s nature.  It will be tough to not have them in our lives.  Probably the best time of day for both of our dogs is “Ham Time.”  They wait poised at the refrigerator after their final outing of the night, anxious for their bedtime snack of sliced ham.  For health reasons we’ve recently switched to sliced turkey breast, but as quickly as they chow it down, they’ll never know the difference.  When Tinker hears “ham time,” I’m sure she thinks of “Rudy’s.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Retirement is not without Hassles: Worn and Torn #130

I had some hassles with Google this morning that prevented me from adding any content.  I’ve since switched over to a different provider to allow me access to my site.  In the meantime, I spent some time this afternoon at the Vet with our dog Tinker.  She has a couple of lumps that seem to be interfering with her motion and comfort levels.  A couple hundred dollars later, we’re resting comfortably at home.  Pet. Vet. Debt.  (see post #67:  Schnauzer on Steroids).

I also had lunch with a friend. bought some office supplies, and tried to get some business cards ordered.  It’s only early June and I’ve already overspent my monthly retirement budget.  I’ll have to find some ways to conserve.  Our pets are expensive to keep healthy, but well worth the investment.  They are my steady companions at home, and I sometimes measure my own mortality based on the state of their health.

My wife had several cats and a dog, named Belle, when we first got together.  They would all keep a close eye on me during the courtship process.  Belle would have been 25 years old this year, and Macy the cat, who also eventually approved of me, would have turned 23.  They’re chewing on the Pearly Gates now, watching the progress of our new pet family consisting of Frankie 16, Tinker 12, and Tally 7.  Frankie was our first joint investment just before we got married.  Tinker was adopted as Belle’s companion, and Tally was adopted after we lost Roxie in an accident.  I’ve watched them all grow older with time passing quickly.

All of us feel a little worn and torn.  Tinker has especially been going through a rough time with allergies, ear infections, rashes, back problems, and lumps.  It’s a good thing I’m retired and have all this extra time to spend with the Vet.  Tally always enjoys tagging along to support her ailing sister.  Simple dog math puts Tinker in her 80’s, but “old age ain’t no place for sissies” as my mother used to say, quoting Bette Davis.  It’s hard to watch Tinker grow old, knowing that I’m growing old myself, and that someday I might need the help of a doctor.  I doubt that I will seek the help of a veterinarian, unless my ears start to itch.

 

Worn and Torn

I’m worn and torn,
From wear and tear.
I’ve lived too long,
It now seems unfair.

.

In-shape and fit,
Started out as a hunk.
Now my spirit is dead,
And my muscles all shrunk.

.

For too many years,
I just didn’t care.
After just a few steps,
Now, I’m sucking air.

.

Drinkin’ and Smokin’
More than I should.
Tastin’ and Eatin’
All that I could.

.

All those temptations,
I should have fought.
This Hangover has hung over,
Longer than I thought.

,

I’d sit on my ass,
Smokin’ a doob.
Watching others exercise,
On the boob tube.

.

I’ve been hard on myself,
And that’s made me soft.
At overindulgence,
I often scoffed.

.

Can’t give blood,
Cause I’m on medication.
I’ve set the standards,
Of our overweight nation.

.

I have a warm heart,
And a few good parts,
But my cholesterol,
Is off the charts.

.

Mark Antony’s quote,
“Lend me your ear.”
What’s that you say?
I can’t hear.

.

My smile is crooked,
And a few teeth missing.
And these wrinkled lips,
No longer worth kissing.

.

Do the eyes have it?
Not any more.
And who’d want a nose?
That does nothing but snore.

.

My voice is no louder,
Than most mimes.
And I’ve bitten my tongue,
Too many times.

.

When I die,
I want to share.
I’d donate my organs,
But who would care?

.

Copyright 2017 (revised from 2009)  johnstonwrites.com

 

 

 

Retirement is not without Hassles: Vulnerable #122

I got a note this morning that Dr. William S. Stark, 69, a professor of Biology at St. Louis University, abruptly ended his four-decade daily running streak after 14,876 days (almost 41 years).  He was #9 on the official U.S.A. active running streak list as compiled by the United States Running Streak Association.  I do not know him, but we had one thing in common – running every day.  If any of you are interested you can find the list and details at www.runeveryday.com.

I have very few athletic accomplishments to tout in life, even if you take into account my Super Hero post #120, and the theory of “the older you get, the better you were.”  I was never a long-distance star, but have completed 3,080 consecutive days of running and rank tied for 211th on the list.  To maintain the streak, it takes nothing but discipline.  It doesn’t matter how fast or slow I go, and believe me I’m pretty slow, all I have to do is complete a mile.  This morning I completed 3 miles, which tends to be my norm, along with my wife and our 2 dogs.  They walked while I run loops to stay close-by.  On occasion, our dog Tally will run with me.  I coughed and sniffled the whole miserable way.  Tomorrow, I will be on my own and will run at a little faster pace.  I only hope I feel better!

I’ve kept pace with Dr. Stark the last 9 years, but he started long before I ever new about this every day running challenge.  I likely will never catch him, since he was forced to stop  nearly 12,000 days or 32.8 years ahead of me.  I would have to live until I’m almost 99 years old and continue to run every single day to catch him.  He does drop off the active streak list, moving me up one position, at his expense.  I felt his pain, as he described the hernia that plagued his daily run, and the necessary surgery that ended his streak.  He said he would take a break and then start another one.

My daily run is what keeps me going.  To even think about not being able to do it is troubling. I’m not sure I would have the same attitude as Dr, Stark.  He’s only 3 years older than I am and still working, so he’s already got more ambition than I do.  Hopefully, he enjoys teaching as much as he does running, so he will continues to feel accomplishment.   I only enjoy having completed my run each day, and don’t necessarily look forward to it.  In fact, I was not at all enthused about doing it this morning after being up most of the night with a nasty cough.  I also really haven’t moved from my desk since gladly unlacing my running shoes.

This cough and cold is the first chink in my body armor since I can remember.  I don’t think I’ve missed more than a day or two of work in all my years, and haven’t spent a night in a hospital since infancy.  I’ve had an attitude of invincibility most of my life, and to even think of Dr. Stark’s situation is scary for me.  Yes, it’s only a cold and my concern silly, but missing a day is one thing; missing a day of retirement is a near tragedy.

I’m enjoying my retirement, and realize how fortunate I am.  I’ve seen friends and family pass away, and I’ve heard stories of others where one illness has led to another.  I don’t like the idea of my body and mind deteriorating with age, and that my life is vulnerable.  I’m thankful I don’t have heart problems, weight problems, or memory problems.  I’m not in a hospital bad, in need of assisted living, or in a wheelchair.  Retirement, however, is a function of health, and life is precious.

I went out of my way to serve the community as part of my career, serving on boards, lending a hand, teaching, providing exposure, and writing checks.  Between work and community, I got pretty burned out.  I must not have had time to be sick!  Since the first of the year, I’ve been pretty selfish with my retirement time.  After all, don’t forget the ME in retireMEnt!  By design, it’s been all about ME, “my time,” and travel.  Hopefully, over the years, that will evolve and the urge will strike to get back into volunteer work.  My retired friends have found some worthwhile causes to occupy their time.  I’ve been a slacker, and apparently it’s made me sick!

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025 johnstonwrites.com

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑