Category: Tally (Page 17 of 31)
Our third schnauzer
Another beautiful day here in Portland. I shouldn’t be spending my time at the keyboard but rather in the great outdoors. The dogs are anxious for their “Schnauzerthon” as my wife continues to get ready. We’re now just one week away from putting the house on the market, 19 days until we head to Steamboat, and 28 days from my step-daughter’s wedding. August will be an eventful month, not to mention my 68th birthday. In the process, I will miss my 50th High School reunion with some regrets. However, after speaking with a fellow classmate last week, he will not be there either, so my circle of friends will be largely unrepresented. There’s no point in traveling 2000 miles to talk to people that I haven’t seen since 1969.
I didn’t realize that it was Shark Week when I wrote yesterday’s poem titled Bark Shark. With all the hype surrounding the Discovery Channel event, there must have been some influence. I attached a cardboard fin to our schnauzer’s back for a quick photo in honor of the occasion. I should probably watch Jaws, a movie that made me cringe back when it was released in 1975. Now, if you want blood and gore you can watch Dexter, as I have been doing the past few weeks. Sharks could learn from him.
Speaking of creatures, I saw my first snake here in Portland this morning. They were a daily occurrence back in Texas, but not as prevalent here. I was startled when it slithered across the path in front of Tinker’s dog stroller and into the pond. It was just a baby garter, but they are always an unexpected surprise. My wife and Tally must have just missed it. I’m sure she’s happy about that, but she did spot some coyote poop. Tally once had an encounter with a rattlesnake that was shot and killed in her presence, She brought home a piece of it’s rattle and left it in our living room to the horror of my wife. Dogs are often attracted to the scent of snakes, so we were always worried when we’d walk the pups along the trails of the Austin Greenbelt. As far as I’m concerned, the only good rattle snake is one made into a belt! It was at a time when Tinker was still frisky and a definite flight risk at the sight of any creature. Tally was only 4 years old and even more untrustworthy than today. It was an eventful “Schnauzerthon.”
The Jim Stafford song,”I don’t like Spiders and Snakes” comes to mind. In this particular case, it’s sharks and snakes, since I’ve yet to see a spider today. This is what happens when you go outside, rather than sit in an air-conditioned office and write. I’m not much of an outdoors-man, but on a nice day like today, I feel guilty being inside. I think I’ll go in search of some spiders, since sharks don’t typically lurk in the Willamette River or the neighborhood pond.
Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the “Schnauzerthon,” a weekend activity with the dogs that we invented. Last year we attended The Soulful Giving Concert to listen to a couple of cover bands and ended up buying a pricey doggy stroller at auction prices to support the cause. Ever since then it’s been the private carriage for our aging schnauzer, Tinker, and enables her to join us for long walks and what we call “Schnauzerthons.” I will run while pushing Tinker in her fancy Air Buggy while my wife walks her sister Tally on the leash. At various points throughout the route, we will switch roles, giving Tally a chance to run, or my wife will take both dogs and give me some solo running time. It takes about an hour to complete, as Tinker finishes the last several hundred yards unassisted.
Tinker is nearing the 15 1/2 year mark, putting her age at about 108 dog years. She got a festive new orange and pink vest (Vesty LeRue we call it) to mark the occasion. My wife bought it on her recent business trip to L.A. “Vesty” comes off every night after her last outing, even though she’s not nearly as itchy as she used to be when the metal tags would rattle in the middle of the night. We can thank the steroids for giving her some peace, although she still does some serious paw licking on occasion. The Prednisone doses we give her each morning and night, embedded in cheese slices, also have controlled her arthritis. On the negative side, it makes her aggressively hungry, so we call her “The Poopingest Pup on the Planet,” once input leads to output. She also has developed some ugly growths on her skin that Tally likes to playfully lick that leads to irritation. Fortunately, they are non-malignant -just gross. Tinker continues to move slowly, cautious of steps because of her cataracts, and no longer insistent that we lift her up on the couch or bed. It probably hurts too much when she tries to get down by herself.
Tinker’s only motivation seems to be food. She lays around all day until she sees me headed for the kitchen. Her outings are limited to a short loop after barely making it to the bottom of the driveway for a poop and another few steps to the grass for a pee. Tally continues to persist in stretching each outing to the maximum, while Tinker heads back to the garage to wait for us. Sometimes she gets impatient, just as I do with Tally’s lack of focus, and starts to bark. Barking has become more frequent when Tinker fails to get what she wants, but it no longer includes annoying us for “elevator rides” to the couch or bed. She also has an occasional “poopsident” that has yet to become a serious problem. Sometimes I wonder if it’s Tally, but I think most of the blame goes to “The Poopingest Pup.”
Tinker continues to get a lot of attention when she’s in the stroller, as was the case this morning. She did bark and stand-up, saving us from a messy clean-up, so we’re always glad to let her out to do her business. The stroller is equipped with Wet-Wipes, just in case. As I write this final paragraph, my wife is fixing breakfast, and Tinker is barking at me and heavily panting in anticipation of a few shard bites. There’s a “Bark Shark” lurking below my desk, waiting to strike. She can smell the bacon in the air, and I certainly won’t be able to resist her pleas. Tally does not beg like she does, but I blame some of it on the steroids. I just want to make Tinker happy in what is probably her final year of life. I wonder how many more “Schnauzerthons” she has left in her?
I guess some sharks do bark like a dog and I’m surprised that no one has written a children’s book. I’m on it – but first stay tuned for a poem. It will be along the same silly lines as PigWhalea. (See Post #453). “Bark Shark” – coming soon to this blog.
With my good friends in Alaska for the past couple weeks, I’ve admittedly felt a bit left out. I’m just two states short of being in all 50 and Alaska is one of those bucket holes. Maine is also on my unconquered list. It won’t be long now until my wife joins me in retirement, so we’ll have more time but less money to get away. She’s in L.A. on business, so I slept-in an extra hour this morning. It seems like everyone I know is traveling, while I remain content in front of the keyboard. The 1000 Places to See Before You Die calendar on my desk dares me to get off my lazy butt and hit the road. The month of July ends with Route 66 and a picture of the Blue Swallow Motel in Tucumcari, New Mexico. If I had joined my wife on the trip to L.A., we would have probably stayed this past weekend at the Marriott Le Merigot on Santa Monica Beach where Route 66 ends or begins – take your pick.
You can still drive about 85% of the original Route 66, and personally I’ve only seen bits and pieces of its length from where it starts in Chicago. I’ve covered it through Illinois into Oklahoma with stays in Springfield, St. Louis, Tulsa and Oklahoma City. I haven’t spent much time in Albuquerque or Flagstaff and other points West like Tucumcari. Maybe we’ll have time to fill in some of those holes. We want to explore the California Coast for housing opportunities, although the cost feasibility seems unrealistic for a retirement place. The Florida panhandle is our other likely exploration destination at the end of the year.
The “Calendar” on my desk always presents new ideas for travel. Each day is a picture of a desirable destination that should probably be on my bucket list. For example, Sardinia, Italy is an island just off the Italian coast. Italy always makes me happy, and we still have dreams of living there for a year so we can travel Europe and new French regions like Alsace near Switzerland and Germany’s Schleswig-Holstein. A little further away, there’s Jordan’s King Highway, a bit older than Route 66 and an ancient link between Amman and the Red Sea. I’d like to “see” that “sea.” Other calendar photos included Svalbard, Norway or Botswana – who wouldn’t “wanna” go there?
Our next trip is to Colorado for my birthday – but that’s still a month away, as I continue to fulfill the list of “67 Things to do before I’m 68.” It’s time to work on a new tally of goals as I look forward to another year of retirement. It won’t be until just after my 69th birthday when I can cross-off the #1 item on my bucket list – Egypt. The Sphinx is still waiting for my visit – and has been for thousands of years. In the meantime, I’ll work on some of my other travel dreams.
It’s just another sunny day in the glorious world of retirement. For those still working for a living, it’s also Sunday. My wife is getting ready for a business trip to Los Angeles while I gladly stay home to watch the dogs. They see Sunday as FunDay, anticipating their weekend Schnauzerthons. My wife leads feisty Tally on a leash while I run with old lady Tinker pushing her stroller. As we make our way through the neighborhood park, we’ll occasionally exchange dogs in a carefully synchronized spin around the pond. There’s even a designated poop stop, having learned our lesson about giving Tinker a timely break. She is, after all, “The Poopingest Pup on The Planet,” and the fast buggy ride seems to relax her a bit too much. Just like a toddler, we now always carry Wet Wipes just in case. Once I complete my just over three-mile daily running goal, I let her out for the short walk home. Today was RunDay number 3.864, as “The Streak” continues.
Tinker was really gimpy today as she waddled along by herself. Her regular outings are very short any more and often she doesn’t even make it down the driveway before she poops. A few steps later she’ll relieve her bladder in the neighbor’s grass and immediately head home. It’s almost like clockwork. She’ll then wait in the shade of the garage until Tally finishes her business, and will bark if it takes too long. Last night, we had dinner guests and she was very impatient. The neighborhood was so peaceful and quiet except for her demanding bark. It was the most outspoken I’ve ever seen her, so she must have thought that with guests at the table, she’d get more food if she was loud enough. As we well know, input equals output, so extra baggies were needed today.
One of my favorite SunDay morning rituals is listening to Sunday Morning Brunch on KINK radio. Although it’s a subtle reminder that I used to work there, it was a mellow way to start today. It helped me get through a sluggish hangover from too much wine and too many barks last night. I won’t be outdone by the neighbors when I set out my glass bottles for recycling tomorrow. It will look like a job well done, after another of my wife’s successful dinner parties. It may be one of our last at this home once we put it on the market in a few weeks. Who knows where we will be living next? I’m sure the neighbors won’t miss “Old Lady Bark” or the brown spots in their yard.
I’ll be on my own for a couple of days, so baseball, beer and fried chicken with a friend is planned. Tinker will have no one to bark at but Tally, as she quietly dreams of the next Schnauzerthon. I just hope that the Cubs can get their sh*t together after blowing a couple of key games this past week. I’m sure my Cardinal friends are thrilled. They are only “my Cubs” when they’re winning and the Brewers are taking advantage of weak relief work with back-to-back-comebacks. It won’t be FunDay unless they can win in Milwaukee today. Also, the fried chicken won’t taste good unless they can beat the Cardinals. If not, you’ll get tired of hearing my bark!
We’re getting ready to board the ferry into Canada to see how they celebrate the Fourth of July. With holiday traffic and a tanker spill it took about 6 hours to get to Port Angeles, Washington. Our old lady schnauzer Tinker and her sister Tally will soon be International travelers. It’s about a 90 minute boat ride to Victoria, British Columbia and our Marriott Inner-Harbor home for the night. I like the fact that they’ll be doing the driving and my car gets a rest. I just hope it floats.
It’s like the beginning of the Indy 500 with cars on all sides of us, waiting for the “Gentlemen and Ladies start your engines” signal and the flag to finally drop. We’re in the 7th row of the grid, with a Kia Optima just in front of us. The skies are cloudy and the harbor a bit choppy, as our pups wait patiently in their back seat beds. It required a lot of planning and patience to organize this adventure that will include a second ferry tomorrow night into Vancouver – The Big Couve. Passports and rabies paperwork are in order for the four of us to pass through customs. Tomorrow we’ll visit Butchart Gardens, a bucket-list destination for my wife after doing a picture puzzle of the popular attraction at the impressionable age of 10. She’s wanted to go there ever since.
After 24 hours in Canada we haven’t heard one firecracker and rarely even a horn. In Portland horns are a bad habit, so I’m glad for the quiet, more polite, surroundings. It’s no wonder other countries view Americans as ugly and obnoxious. I ran only the minimum mile this morning knowing that we would spend four or five hours on our feet exploring the garden paths. Tinker was a spectacle riding in her Air Buggy. I had arranged for a later ferry in case my wife wanted to stay long longer, instead we caught a mid-afternoon ride into Vancouver and got settled at the downtown Residence Inn before dinner. It was a blue-sky day on the water. The only draw-back is that we had to sit below deck in the car with the dogs. This was not the case on last night’s ferry. The dogs were too tired to care.
I’m proud to say that with the dogs along, our daily spending levels have been pleasantly reduced. Meals are primarily limited to fast food, take-out, snack bars, pizza, and hot dog stands. We will, however, do the pricy Outstanding In The Field dinner that we purchased four months ago, but there will be no pet sitting costs, airfare, or luxury hotels. I’ll use Marriott Rewards points for three of our four nights lodging that will include free breakfast. Gift shopping will be limited to knick-knacks. Gas will be under $125, Ferries $125, Hotel $500, Food $1000, and Gifts $500. In total, an average spend of about $500/day, half of our typical $1000/day travel outlay.
The Marriott Vacation Club costs us about $85/day whether we use it or not, with maintenance and mortgage financing. After ten years when the debt is paid off, it will drop to approximately $22/day for upkeep. It gives us about 50 paid nights a year at the finest resorts anywhere in the world to use ourselves or share with family members. Our MVC investment also provides at least an additional 10 free nights annually at Marriott and partner hotels like the ones we’re staying at in Canada this week. We’ll use it for San Francisco overnights during the next few months, as my wife helps her youngest daughter plan an upcoming wedding & honeymoon. Her other daughter is marrying the following month, so their Maui honeymoon will also be on us thanks to Marriott – my home away from home.
We’re half-way through our Canadian visit. My wife was thrilled to find the exact spot where her picture puzzle was photographed, even despite the 50+ years that have passed since she put it together as a child. Tomorrow is a free day in Vancouver with nothing as yet planned. Tinker is snoring away as I write this and Tally is quietly zonked out in “good bed.” I hope to join them soon – the stress of travel tires an old man like me out. Happy Fourth!
Most of us are familiar with the saying, “you can’t cry over spilled milk.” It simply means to avoid expressing regret over something that has already happened. The first historical reference to the phrase appears in a document written by British historian James Howell in 1659. However, what happens if it’s a spilled martini? – there has to be some regret. Doesn’t there? It happened to me last night at dinner, as my server suddenly stumbled while delivering my XXX martini (eXtra dirty, eXtra dry, eXtra olives). James Bond liked his “shaken not stirred” but never spilled. Admittedly, it’s usually me that spills things because of my shaky hands, so as the cold liquid hit my lap I was caught completely off-guard. It was only about a third of the glass that emptied, so he apologized but failed to offer it as complimentary. I did not get mad (or cry afoul) but I was definitely. Sometime shortly after he offered a dry napkin, but no suggestion of free dessert. There I sat with wet jeans and a reduced amount of alcohol, waiting for my meal. I suppose that if I had made a bigger fuss, I would have been compensated in some way through a visit from his manager. There was no harm done since vodka doesn’t stain, so I let it go. I didn’t even dock his tip once my second martini arrived without incident. To quote another familiar saying, “let bygones be bygones.” Well maybe not…here I am writing about it.
Yesterday started and ended with a table by the Wilamette (Damnit) River. I met a long lost acquaintance for breakfast at the Kimpton Riverplace and had dinner with my wife at McCormick’s and Schmick’s, where I didn’t cry over my spilled martini. With Buffalo Wild Wings in between, it was a step-up from my normal routine of watching Treme, the College World Series, or some other television event, and eating a can of soup. Speaking of the HBO show, Treme, I’m now in the 3rd season. When my martini spilled last night, I’ll I could think of was the former New Orleans chef who threw a Sazerac cocktail in the face of a New York food critic after he dissed French Quarter cuisine in the midst of the Katrina after-mass. She thought it was a cheap shot at her fellow restaurateurs who were struggling to keep their heads above water. Her spill was intentional while mine was accidental – I think.
My wife and I finished the 2nd season of the intense Hulu series, The Handmaid’s Tale, last night after my lap martini. She was glad to get a tough week of work out of the way, but enjoyed taking our younger schnauzer Tally to the office. “Texas Tally,” as she was referred to in the news segment she was part of, was exhausted when she finally got home. The sad thing was that her older sister Tinker probably never realized she was gone for the day. We sneaked Tally out of the house in the morning by distracting Tinker, and when Tally returned Tinker was out cold in my office. It was a far cry from the old days when Tinker would bark and tear things up when she was left alone. Poor Tinker only gets up now when I head to the refrigerator or when I drag her outside. Food is what she lives for in her fragile old age. I did push her around the neighborhood this morning in her stroller, as my wife and I exchanged turns with each dog during our traditional weekend “Schnauzerthon” relay. With that task now out of the way, I’m ready for a martini!
We’re on the move today, satisfying my wife’s need to keep busy on her precious days off. She arranged an early dinner with friends last night and made plans to visit the Vancouver, WA farmer’s market this morning. We have to pick up a case of wine that we bought on our way back from Walla Walla a few weeks ago. We’ll check out a few of the sights from the other side of the Columbia River while we’re there and maybe grab some breakfast. In the meantime, we’ll give our bored dogs some exercise and fresh air via a “Schnauzerthon” through the neighborhood park. It’s Day 3822 of “The Streak,” and the dog outing breaks up the loneliness and monotony that often accompanies my day-to-day roadwork. I’ll push our aging pup Tinker at a fast pace in the stroller during part of the 4 mile challenge this morning, and try to get Tally to “run like the wind,” that usually turns out to be “dragging” her reluctantly along on the leash. I’ll then leave my wife with both dogs and the stroller while I jog the winding path through the woods on my own. Two schnauzers, my walking wife, a stroller, and solo sprints make up the various legs of our weekend “Schnauzerthon.” I continue to struggle with a sore lower back.
This family activity has been going on for nearly a year now, since my wife bought the stroller at an auction fundraiser. (See Post #617). This year, we’re skipping this Soulful Giving event that comes around again in another few weeks in favor of a Zupan’s Market “Oregon Bounty” dinner with friends. We’re also not going to Polo Noir that happens the weekend after with this same couple. We had all attended the first two of these “Sport of Kings” events because of the music acts that included Bruce Hornsby. It was like going to the Kentucky Derby to watch all the fashionable outfits. It has no appeal this year.
I just got a few more gift cards for Father’s Day from my wife. We’ll have steak salad for dinner tonight in honor of the occasion and maybe a bottle of the wine we’re about to pick up at the Vancouver Market. My wife slept in a little bit this morning while I wrote this post, but the dogs are getting anxious for their “Schnauzerthon.” Hopefully, Tinker won’t poop in the stroller like she did a few weeks ago during the American Heart Association 5k. She’s usually pretty good about letting us know – with a bark – when she needs to get out and do her business. However, you never know with an aging pup of 15 years that’s earned the reputation as “The Poopingest Pup on the Planet.” (author note: the poopsident happened despite this premonition – however, an easy clean-up this time.)
I’m taking the road to the Oregon Coast this morning, hoping to avoid the 98 degree high expected this afternoon. It should be at least 20 degrees cooler near the Pacific. It’s also enjoyable to drive the winding road through the Coastal Range to get there and back. It reminds me of a roller coaster, twisting through the Tillamook Forest alongside the Wilson River. It will take a little over an hour-and-a-half to get to my friend’s home on Netarts Bay. We went kayaking the last time I visited, but the dogs will go with me this time. My friends have two big Labradoodles named Quincy & Zane that my schnauzers Tinker & Tally look up to – way up to!
Rog and I went to high school and I.U. together, so our friendship goes back at least 50 years. Last year at this time we went to the College World Series in Omaha to watch Oregon State win the national title. He and his wife moved out to the Coast two years ago and they use our guest room as “home base” when they come into Portland for events like Jason Mraz and Hamilton. Just before they sold their Portland home, we all did a retirement river cruise from Paris to Normandy. Another memorable experience was our trip to the Maui Classic to watch I.U. play basketball. This was actually before my wife and I moved to Portland. I also fondly recall some “bachelor” trips to Mt. Bachelor for skiing. My son Adam even joined us on one of those occasions. I’m looking forward to today’s visit where perhaps we’ll plot our next great adventure.
My son and his family are headed to Disney World this afternoon. I was able to set them in a nearby condo as part of our Marriott Vacation Club ownership. We’re also using it for both my step daughters honeymoons – one is already set up for Maui later this year. It’s an investment that’s been useful for our entire family and something that’s being passed down through our will. We’ve already enjoyed luxury lodging in Phoenix, Bangkok, Phuket, and Maui in the short time we’ve been involved. Tonight, however, the dogs and I will be bumming off my close friends – the much more affordable “Rog Vacation Club,” at the end of the roller coaster.
I can’t help but think about Home Alone the 1990 American Christmas comedy film written and produced by John Hughes and directed by Chris Columbus. The film stars Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, and Catherine O’Hara. I’m home alone today, as well, except it wasn’t by mistake as in the movie. My working wife is on a business trip to Phoenix, while I’m home with the dogs and cat. Normally, I would accompany her, but I’ve already been to Phoenix one time already this year. I will not miss the hassles of travel, and instead will drive the pups out to the coast for a night. It’s supposed to be in the mid-90’s today here in Portland, so it will be much cooler by the ocean. I can’t imagine how hot it will be in Phoenix.
We finally got all the paperwork signed yesterday on our wills, health directives, and power of attorney after meeting with a Notary Public. I also had a moment of panic when the bank sent me the wrong statement for our remaining balance on the house in Decatur, Illinois. It was one of the greatest hassles of my life, as it sat unsold for over six years. We took a big hit on its eventual sale after the real estate market turned ugly ten years ago. According to the bank, I would have been making payments for the next 60 years. They are sending me a new statement that should show it paid off in another 4 years.
It’s a busy day of errands that starts with a trip to the grooming spa for the dogs. Aging Tinker had to go to the Vet yesterday for a growth on her ear. It doesn’t seem to bother her, but sister Tally won’t stop licking it. While we were waiting for some medication, Tally somehow crewed through Tinker’s leash. They are a funny pair of pups. They will have to rely solely on me for the next few days with the absence of “Mom.” They’ll be anxious to see their furry buddies “Q” and “Z” tomorrow for some playtime on the beach. A few years ago, Tinker would run like the wind, but sadly tomorrow she’ll waddle around aimlessly in the sand. It will at least be a change of pace for the pups. Tally is not trustworthy off the leash, as has been proven several times while visiting the Oregon Coast.
I have my annual physical today, so I’m currently fasting. While my wife headed off to the airport, I finished my 3-mile run to mark 3,817 consecutive days. I did an actual “race” last weekend and finished second in my age group, Soon, there won’t be anyone left to race against – if I could even call it racing. It’s more of an old man shuffle, trying to maintain my balance. Tinker and I have a lot in common when it comes to moving slowly. At least, it keeps me in decent shape and hopefully the results of my check-up will prove favorable. My wife’s company provides a discount on health insurance for completing a check-list of exams and activities. In a way, I guess I’m being paid for shuffling every day – even when I’m home alone.