Category: DIARY OF AN ADOPTEE (Page 7 of 18)

I continue to work on the Ancestry Jerry Ban(n)ister Family Tree, placing over 15,300 names on its sprawling branches over the past few years. The work started after I began to piece together adoption paperwork as well as DNA matches on both Ancestry and 23andMe. I was curious about these “blood” relatives and interested in how they connected with each other. Other hobby genealogists (if I can even call myself one?) were impressed with my dedication and enthusiasm. I also began to compile this written diary blog, outlying each step of my discovery journey, including the many mistakes and assumptions that I made. I searched obituaries, Facebook, Linked In, public records, and even made a few face-to-face visits in the process. The result is a database of first, middle, and last names that form a complicated puzzle of my life. There are only a hand full of people that I actually know on the tree, mostly the adopted relatives that I grew up around. 

My life-long identity as a Johnston is a last name that only appears 45 times, with only about a dozen familiar faces in this close family mix. My birth name of Ban(n)ister accounts for only about 5% of the total, that’s taking into account both the “n” and “double n” spellings. The Legg family also accounts for 5% of my tree, with the Hall and Greathouse names comprising another 5%. The next 5% includes Burton, Anderson, Foist, Taylor, Sweany, Miller and Branham, in order of appearance. However, these prominent names carved into the roots amount to only 25% of the overall total. The remaining 75% are names that appear less than 100 times, most fewer than 25. It just proves that everyone around us is probably related in some way. The world is just one big family!

I spent most of yesterday and today on the Burton branches of my tree, trying to find a connection with my #1 DNA connection on 23andMe, Joyce Gourley. Like me she was also adopted, and we’re supposedly scientifically related as first cousins. Her birth mother was a Burton, complicated by the fact that her biological grandmother was also adopted.  I was Jerry at birth, while she was Nancy. Now, I’m Mike and she is Joyce. Just as the Johnston family made me their own, she became a Thompson, then married a Gourley. These twists in the trunk make it difficult to find where our separate life paths crossed. With 512 Burton names on my tree, I’ve yet to find a connection with her after months of on-and-off research. Joyce and I had initially started an on-line conversation through 23andMe, but she must have lost interest. I find that most people run hot and cold when it comes to their personal lives. I did not hear back from her regarding my speculations on her roots. At least, she didn’t answer my last few questions. I worry that perhaps I made some wrong assumptions when I found her name on Facebook. I could have even found the wrong person. 

I’m not really trying to establish a relationship. I’m just naturally curious – obviously more than even my own birth mother. I still get crickets in trying to communicate with her family. It’s scary when a stranger claims to be related, and I’m certainly sensitive to this concern. It’s not like I’m Sneaky Pete, trying to steal the family fortune. I’m not even looking for an invitation to Christmas dinner. It’s easy to sit here and add names to my family tree, some of them are even probably wrong. I often view it as a game, but in reality each name is an actual person that has lived most of their lives without me in it. Admittedly, I’m a late-comer to the Ban(n)ister Party, but would like to learn more about the family that with a twist of fate could have been a bigger part of my life.  

I spent the last couple of days in Ban(n)ister World, hoping to hang genetic matches on the family tree. It’s a game that often requires research and patience, digging into the lives of total strangers that might have  been close relatives if circumstances had been different. The tree also includes my closest adopted relatives that I grew up with, and has now exploded to over 15,300 people, with a degree of duplication. With a lot of work searching Facebook, combing obituaries, and comparing other Ancestry.com trees, I was able to identify third cousins Angie Lane Janow, her brother Richard Lane, and Brenda Lee Irelan Smith. In the process, I’m also trusting the accuracy of other researchers and the connections they have found in playing their own version of the “Match Game.”

“You must be in Ban(n)ister World,” I heard my wife say as I retreated into my office. She teases me about my personal historical curiosity. Ironically, my first wife was a hobby genealogist, but I showed little interest since my tree at that time was strictly adopted relatives. It’s just been a couple of years now since I’ve uncovered my biological family. DNA testing provided me with hundreds of matches at varying degrees of “closeness.” I’ve since become somewhat obsessed with connecting the dots with all these people that aren’t really close at all. Does it mean I want to be close? Not necessarily, but I have found some friendly relationships in the process. They’ve been very supportive about my sudden intrusion into their life-long Ban(n)ister family ties. 

The “Match Game” never ends as new people submit to Ancestry or 23andMe DNA testing. I have taken some lengthy breaks frustrated by dead-ends and lack of motivation. In many ways I feel like it’s just busy work, justified by hours of free time in retirement. I’m not really sure what I’m searching for anymore? I know the identity of my birth parents and those closest to them. However, I’ve yet to have any acknowledgement from the bio-mother or her children. Her parents and siblings have all passed, so she’s the only one left that holds the secrets of my birth. The “Match Game” will probably never reveal any of these closely held mysteries, but I’ll keep trying. 

I continue to be curious about DNA matches, hoping to add more names to my Ancestry.com Jerry Bannister Family Tree. Sometimes I feel like I’m prying into a stranger’s private life. Other times, I feel like I’m a private detective trying to find a connection between my life and theirs. As an adopted child, I’m hoping to find relationships that will lead to solving the mystery of my life. On far too many occasions, my work leads to a frustrating dead end or maybe even some bad news. 

I took two separate DNA tests, both on Ancestry and 23andMe that provide the foundation of my investigations. In the discovery process, I have regular communication with two cousins and a half-sister, and have identified hundreds of biological relatives. New names pop up regularly as people submit to the simple saliva test. I try to find a connection with each of these matches by giving them a distinctive mark on my tree. My hope is to find some patterns in determining their relation to either my birth father or mother. It’s led to a massive database of over 15,000 people, mostly strangers.

My most recent target is a woman named Angie Janow, identified by 23andMe as a third cousin. I was able to find her on Facebook as a Lane married to a Janow, but have yet to find her place on my tree. Obituaries gave me the names of her mother and father, along with grandparents and other close relatives. However, I’ve yet to find a connection with the Banister family, despite several hours of snooping into her life. It feels a bit creepy at times delving into the lives of these total strangers, but it might lead to another source of family information. I probably could have saved myself some time if I had just read her 23andMe profile. I don’t know how I could have missed it! It’s not common that people give this much information about themselves, most preferring to remain anonymous. Here’s what she posted:

“I was born Angie Lane. My married name is Angie Janow. My parents grew up in the same little town in KY. I have two older brothers. I have one stepson and one biological son with my husband. My father was from a family of seven children. My mother was from a family of four children. My father has traced his ancestry back for many generations, but that information is not in any web base that I am aware of at this time. I do have documentation from a paternal aunt that serves as adequate for becoming a member of the DAR.”

It looks like her primary motivation for DNA testing was establishing membership in the Daughters of the American Revolution. I do have a branch of my tree that leads to several people with the last name of Lane, but they do not connect with any of the members of her family. Her relation to me remains a mystery and one of the few matches in my 23andMe Top 20. I’m also searching for more information on other third cousins like Larry Bogue, Elsa Schneider, Kenzi B, M Graham, and Benjamin Wilson. None of them provided any profile information. I’m also looking at Brenda Smith from Indianapolis, Indiana, who was born Brenda Lee Irelan. I just found her Facebook page and will see if I can find a place for her on my tree. 

I did a Google search for Angie Lane Janow as I was writing this and came across some disturbing news on a Crosstown, Tennessee radio station website (105.7 THE HOG). This just happened in the past two months, so I’m feeling bad for someone I’ve never met, as I examine this troubling article:

“A motorcycle versus a vehicle crash yesterday in Cumberland County left two injured. The Tennessee Highway Patrol says a 2017 Kawasaki operated by Billy John Genovese and a 2014 Dodge Journey driven by 45-year-old Angie Lane Janow were both heading east on Highway 70 West. Genovese was attempting to pass Janow as she was attempting to make a left turn onto Pomona Road. The two collided resulting in the car coming to rest in the parking lot of Pomona Market and the motorcycle in the ditch. Genovese was flown by LifeForce to Erlanger Medical Center for treatment of injuries. Janow was also reported hurt in the accident.”

I’m wishing both victims of this accident a speedy recovery. 

On this day 68 years ago, I left the Suemma Coleman Home for Unwed Mothers in the care of my adopted parents. It may have been the first time that I ever saw them and we probably spent the night at my adopted grandparent’s house. Their home was about 45 minutes north of Indianapolis and the perfect pit-stop for our three hour drive to Elkhart, Indiana. Plus, it was probably a stressful day for my parents who could have used the support of their family during my first night of care. The birth mother, Edna Faye Banister, according to the adoption records, was released from my care 48 days earlier, two weeks after my birth. It was the last time we would ever interact. 

As I try to reconstruct the first few months of my life, I was apparently moved from the Suemma Coleman facility to the State Department of Public Welfare Children’s Home. It was actually called the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Children’s Home “founded in 1865 to provide care, education and maintenance for the orphaned and destitute children of Civil War Union Army veterans. The Home was located approximately two miles south of Knightstown, Indiana, on State Road 140 and consisted of 419 acres that included an administration building, children’s dormitory cottages, Morton Memorial School, a hospital, dairy farm, camp grounds and recreational facilities. Children from the ages of 4 to 18 were cared for with each child being eligible for vocational training. The Home was owned by the State of Indiana and was managed through a superintendent.” I started life on welfare.

There is a letter in my file from Ruth Henderson, Executive Director of the Suemma Coleman Home dated the day after I was born. It was to schedule an interview appointment a week later to start the initial process for my adoption. Burt and Cathy must have passed the first test to receive me as their prize. A year later, the courts made the adoption official, after constant monitoring of my care in their home. I must have been really spoiled under the watchful eye of state officials. 

I’m guessing that they brought me back to Indianapolis for the official hand-off to my new Johnston family. I was then 11 pounds seven ounces, almost four pounds heavier than birth. I came with written instructions that included Baker’s Milk mixed with water five times a day plus Mead’s Standard Cod Liver Oil with orange juice. I can’t fully read the actual scribbles of the nurse. I was initially referred to as Mickey in correspondence, while all birth records listed me as Jerry Lee Bannister. I still don’t understand the consistent double “n” spelling throughout all the paperwork. Both of my bio parents spell their last names Banister with one “n.” Was it an intentional attempt by the birth mother to disguise our identities? Her actual signature even includes the two “n” version. She also admits the putative father to be Cecil Bannister – no relation. 

Sixty-eight years have now passed since that fateful day when I became Michael Lee Johnston. My beloved adopted father, Burt, passed just over five years ago, just after my only real mother, Cathy, died months earlier. The birth father, Cecil, has been lost to this earth now for over eight years, while the 102-pound, 5’2″, 18-year old that gave birth to me just turned 86. She gave up a lot for me, including her last year of high school and maybe her reputation. She did have four more children in two marriages. There seems to be little chance that we will ever reunite, at her choice. She could probably solve several mysteries about my life for me, while I would just like to say thank you. 

As I look back to August of last year, I was searching for a fairly close DNA relative by the name of Phillip Legg. (See Post #635). He was listed as a 2nd to 3rd cousin by 23andMe, and number six on my list from that genealogical service. I had identified everyone else above him on the list and marked them with a distinctive DNA MATCH label on my Ancestry.com family tree. It helps me identify patterns that relate to my bio parents. At that point of time, I had 280 Leggs on my Jerry Banister tree and since then have added 470 more in effort to find Phillip. As it turned out, his daughter Lor-Anna, was a 3rd Cousin once-removed match that just showed up today on Ancestry and I was able to trace her lineage back through Phillip to his great grandmother Cora Banister Combs. Cora’s true brother was Henry Otis Banister, great grandfather of my birth mother, Edna Faye Banister. Cora’s half-brother was Charles B. Banister, great grandfather of my birth father, Cecil Ralph Banister. I was the surprise product of this complicated inner-family relationship that led to my adoption as Michael Lee Johnston. 

Phillip Dale Legg was born in Tipton, Indiana on March 3, 1937. If he is still alive, he would now be over 82 years old. Although I tried to contact him through the site years ago to help solve the mystery of our DNA relationship, I never heard back. Instead, I persisted in my tedious search through the rather large Legg family. I finally got the answer today. He joins Joyce Gourley, Marilyn Banister, Janine Marthai, Carolyn Erley and Deb Vaughn as my top 6 DNA matches on 23andMe. Next on the list is only identified as second cousin Kay S. – not much to go on other than she was born in 1959.

As I continued working on the Ancestry site this afternoon, I then found a new fourth to sixth cousin match with Mary Beason, and added her to my tree beside her brother Steve Beason, who had been identified at an earlier date. New names show up regularly once members submit to the saliva test. To be honest, I hadn’t added any names to my tree for several months, having hit a temporary dead end. I typically don’t go beyond a fourth cousin match. There are currently over 15,000 relatives identified on my massive tree that continues to grow. Today, it grew two more Leggs and a Beason. 

This is the first birthday I’ve celebrated with cards and notes from my Jerry Bannister side of the family. With DNA connections I’ve made over the past year, I’ve heard from half-siblings and cousins that I didn’t know existed a year ago. I’ve also reconnected with several cousins that I grew up with under my adoptive name of Mike Johnston. In the process, I’ve traveled to Chicago, Indiana, Washington state, and Thailand to visit with these members of my collective “family.” 

My birth father would have celebrated his 88th birthday this year, while the birth mother brought in her 86th. They were 17 and 19 years old when my fate was determined. She still continues to avoid my acquaintance, although I’ve been in touch with her son and daughter. None of them have responded, but it’s been a much more rewarding story on his side. I’ve personally visited or talked with 7 Bannisters, a Portland DNA cousin that I’ve yet to get together with, and cousins near Kennewick, Washington, although  we’ve failed to accurately link on our respective family trees. My quest will continue in year 69 of my life. 

Currently I’m at a dead-end on my Ancestry.com family tree, while new DNA connections show-up regularly. I’m approaching 15,000 people on this site that includes Bannister and Johnston relatives. On a more personal side, I’ve also been amazed with some of the common physical characteristics that I’ve found – like eyes and noses – that had never existed with my adoptive family. This is what I initially sought when I took the DNA tests and got involved with Ancestry. What started with a desire to simply see pictures evolved into a need to find out more. Without more information on my bio mother, I still have not found full closure. As another birthday passes and the chances of meeting this important woman and her family grow dimmer, I remain patient, unwilling to stir the pot of secrets any further. 

Bannister World is growing. There are now over 14,600 relatives filling the branches of the Jerry Banister or Bannister Family Tree. Hundreds of them are marked with a special”DNA Match” stamp, indicating my connection through Ancestry or 23andMe. I continue to look for patterns that prove my ties to the Banister or Bannister family. My birth mother’s last name was Banister, but my adoption paperwork consistently used the double “n” Bannister spelling. This is mysterious to me, although throughout history the two are intertwined. Right now, there are 504 Banisters and 301 Bannisters, with some unavoidable duplication. 

My most recent project has been to find (CE) Caroline Erley, a new addition to my list of 2nd cousins on 23andMe. Her name just popped-up to #4 between (JM) Janine Marthai and (DV) Debra Vaughn, both with close Banister ties. I also still can’t yet find my #1 match with Joyce Gourley despite hours of research with obituaries and Facebook stalking. Joyce was adopted like me, but born as Nancy as I was Jerry Lee, so her genetic history is disguised. On the productive side, I did determine that CE was originally a Bannister and uses the hyphenated Bannister-Erley moniker. I know she’s related to Ruth Bannister, but the only Ruth (Ruth Jean Burkman Bannister) on my tree died 9 years ago, so it’s unlikely she’s still active on Facebook. I will continue to work on this mystery and seek some help from Deb and Janine. 

I’ve uncovered most of my DNA matches up to the level of 4th cousin, although like Caroline there are new test subjects every day. If the results are through Ancestry.com, it’s relatively easy to compare them through my tree. However, 23andMe relatives are much more difficult to track. It’s a matter of looking for the same name on Facebook (FB) and in some cases the same picture. Most of my connections tend to be through Indiana and Illinois, so this narrows down the search geographically. In some instances, the FB page shows their relationship with corresponding friends, listing them as husband, wife, brother, sister, grandchild, etc. Photo comments also provide hints of kinship. It’s a process that requires a lot of patience and elements of privacy invasion. I wish there was an easier way, but without an obituary it’s hard to distinguish between all of these strangers. There’s a lot of work yet to do in Bannister World.