Today's thoughts

Category: POEMS (Page 30 of 30)

Rhymes of all kinds

Retirement is not without Hassles: No more weekend blues #21

It’s a Sunday and normally I would be bummed out about the end of the weekend and the beginning of the work week. I’d already be thinking about Friday, wishing my life away to get there.  Now, in retirement, Sunday is just another day – so why wish it away?

I got together with some of my retired friends this weekend.  One is a wine hobbiest with a small vineyard on the hill behind their home.  His wife is the vintner and our supervisor.  Every year at this time we help them haul away the gnarly vines that are left in piles after several weeks of pruning.  It’s hard work for a couple of hours, and involves renting a trailer to get them to a recycling center, but we all walk away with several bottles of wine for our efforts.  with our cheap labor, they make about 300 bottles of wine each year.  Picking the grapes, smashing them, and bottling will come later in the year, as we get together for each stage of the process.

We’re starting to get a little old to do this, so we’re always searching for shortcuts.  It’s about the only manual labor I do each year, but it probably makes the wine taste better.   It certainly gets better with age, just like we do!

 

Some Things Get Better With Age

There is improvement,

As time works its magic.

Some just get better,

Make life fantastic.

 

Wine in the barrel,

Grows in flavor.

Giving us its nectar,

To enjoy and savor.

 

As time passes by,

Its value increases.

From inside each grape,

More flavor releases.

 

Roll out the barrel,

We’ll have some fun.

Vines Growing rich,

From days in the sun.

 

Then aged in the dark,

Throughout the years.

Awaiting a toast,

Exclaiming “Cheers.”

 

I think of us,

When thinking of wine.

Our love getting stronger,

Like a thick old vine.

 

We’ve grown it together,

Share it each day.

It’s our love potent,

And it’s Grade A.

 

When I squeeze you,

It oozes from your pores.

It should be bottled,

And sold in stores

 

Money in the love bank,

Too high to gage.

Our love is growing,

Better with age.

copyright 2015 johnstonwrites.com

 

Retirement is not without Hassles: Getting going each day #17

In my humble opinion, getting out of bed is one of the hardest tasks in life.  I am not one of those that jumps out of bed each morning anxious for a new day.  I always want another hour of sleep, regardless of what time I get up.  I’m currently staying with my son and his family, as I continue my retirement tour across the country – Oregon to Arizona to Florida. There’s a three hour time difference from home to here, so I’m constantly trying to figure out what time it really is and which time zone better suits my needs at any given moment.  They have all left for school and work, while I stayed in bed an extra hour this morning.  I still wanted another hour of sleep – just because!

As I have for the last 10 years, I always get up and go for a run.  It’s not much to look forward to, but it keeps me going and has provided the necessary bridge between those working days and retirement days.  Nothing has changed in the first two hours of my day in quite some time:  I get up, walk the dogs, dawdle a bit, do some stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, lace up my Nike shoes, run, relax at the computer, and get dressed.  It’s almost mechanical – I’ve done it now for 2,984 consecutive days.   How do I know?  www.runeveryday.com computes it for me.

What I do after that two-hour “warm up” period varies each day.  It used to be work, but now I mostly get to do what I want to do.  Yes, I have my honey-do list, household and pet responsibilities, and fix-it tasks – those are the hassles of retirement.  At least, now, I don’t also have to face the hassles of a day of work.  I’ve been reminded the past few days of how tough it is to raise a family, get kids off to school, earn a living, and crash after a long day of no time for yourself. However, I’m a grandfather and a guest in my son’s home, so all I have to do is sit back and watch the action!  It’s exhausting just to watch!  I do try to help relieve some of the pain, provide some financial support, and stay out of the way.  I also limit my visits to a few days at a time so I don’t “hang around in the air” like a fish dinner.  After all, I have hassles of my own, remember!

I took the kids to Disney, the Daytona 500, and to a Spring Training game.  I will be flying back tomorrow with a thin wallet and the satisfaction of being a good grandfather and father for a few days.  Hopefully, I’ve provided a little relief to their complicated lives.  At times, I feel guilty for bringing him into this world, and other times I feel like a proud parent, as somehow they get by – just as I did all those years.  Now, I just smile as I reflect on school, college, marriage, family, marriage again, and work-work- work, knowing that all of those stages are behind me.  I also have to thank my wife, who is home taking care of the pets and working hard.  She’s helping make this visit possible and I miss her.  All I have left to deal with are the “hassles of retirement,” that today I say with tongue in cheek!

I will return to Portland late tomorrow, enjoy a happy hour get-together with friends still working to kick of my “weekend,”  do laundry, and relax a few weeks before the “hassles” of travel kick into gear once again.  My wife and I will be going to Indianapolis to visit her 96 year old mother, then Hawaii and Paris to round out the first half of the 2017 retirement tour.  I might even sneak in a trip to San Jose to hopefully watch the Oregon Ducks in the Sweet 16, since my Indiana Hoosiers will not make the cut.

Well, back to reality, my doctor’s office just called and I need to schedule a follow-up visit – speaking of hassles.  I see the Chiropractor on Thursday and the Dentist on Friday to round out the week.  Friends say  I look good on the outside, but I’m definitely “rusted out on the inside:”

Rust in Peace

People say I’m younger,

Than I look.

That my body’s youthful,

In any fitness book.

 

They like the way I dress,

And my childish grin.

My hair’s still there,

My figure thin.

 

But trapped inside,

Many years of stress.

Anger and pain,

I must confess.

 

Disappointment,

Pain and loss.

Troubles at home,

A demanding boss.

 

Looks good outside,

But rusty inside.

So many cracks,

I’m able to hide.

 

Like a vintage auto,

Shiny and sleek.

But my undercarriage,

Is rusted out and weak.

 

Blood pressure high,

Reflexes slow.

Another gasket,

About to blow.

 

Used to be fast,

Much in demand.

Cocky and confident,

The world in hand.

 

Just a few wrinkles,

Teeth still white.

A couple of dents,

From a fist fight.

 

Tan and fit,

You think I’m lookin’ good.

Just wait until,

You look under my hood.

 

Looks good outside,

But rusty inside.

So many cracks,

I’m able to hide.

 

 Like a vintage auto,

Shiny and sleek.

But my undercarriage,

Is rusted out and weak

 

Rev up my engine,

And hear it sputter.

My arteries clogged,

With too much butter.

 

A little beer gut,

But you should see my liver.

A little soft in spots,

But I can still deliver.

 

In  no time flat,

Zero to Eighty.

Driven only on Sunday,

By my old lady.

 

When my time runs out,

They’ll look at me and say.

What a good looking corpse,

He even hid the gray.

 

Looks good outside,

But rusty inside.

So many cracks,

I’m able to hide.

 

Like a vintage auto,

Shiny and sleek.

But my undercarriage,

Is rusted out and weak.

 

johnstonwrites

Copyright April 2009

 

 

Creature Features: Life is for the dogs #14

One of the joys of retirement, is the pleasure of making your own schedule. So, rather than just write about retirement, I try to mix in some stories and poems about some of my favorite things like baseball and pets.  In my opinion, there’s only one thing better than being retired – it’s living the dog’s life.

Oh, to be the dog

In the next life,

This is my wish.

Give me a bone,

And my own dish.

 

Then I can snore,

And scratch my butt.

I’d be no pure breed,

I’d return as a mutt.

 

I’d sleep all the time,

Chew on a boot.

Then lick myself,

And smile real cute.

 

Woman’s best friend,

At men I would growl.

And when I was hungry,

I would just howl.

 

My greatest desire,

If I did come back.

Should I be fortunate,

To get another crack.

 

Just to be sure,

I’d have the perfect life.

I’d want my master,

To be my current wife.

 

 

Copyright 2016 johnstonwrites.com

 

And now I’ll go back to coping with some of the hassles of retirement, like filing taxes, dealing with health insurance claims, and cleaning toilets.  All of them are still better than working.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Run Everyday #6

Today marked my 3,000th consecutive day of running.  What began as a 1,000 day countdown to my 60th Birthday has now extended to over 8 years.  It truly shows my addictive personality, but it’s also probably the most important part of the day.   Fortunately, there are many more runners just like me, with far longer streaks, at the website www.runeveryday.com.   Several years ago, I wrote a poem to commemorate these daily warriors:

 

It’s an everyday ritual,

That makes us unique.

We lace up our running shoes,

Seven days a week.

 

Some pop out of bed,

Choose a lunch hour date.

Unwind after work,

Or get it in late.

 

Inside or outside,

Darkness or light.

A day without running,

Just doesn’t seem right.

 

A single day off,

Is not our style.

Whatever it takes,

To get in that mile.

 

Yes, there are days,

When we may want to quit.

Days when we’re hurting,

And would much rather sit.

 

But we go out and do it,

Despite the urge to rest.

And after we’ve done it,

We’re at our Best.

 

In blizzard conditions,

Or sweltering heat.

Don’t ever give up,

Keep moving those feet.

 

Like brushing your teeth,

A daily run is a must.

Miss one single day,

And your streak is a bust.

 

Didn’t get a wake-up call?

Forgot to pack a shoe.

We’ve all had those days,

When we’ve had to make do.

 

Whatever it takes,

Do we push it too far?

Some think we’re crazy,

And maybe we are.

 

A challenge like this,

Is not for everyone.

There’s no finish line,

You’re never quite done.

 

Copyright 2010 johnstonwrites.com

 

 

Old Sport Shorts: Baseball Notes #2

-Chicago White Sox spitball pitcher Ed Walsh beat Cubs ace, Mordecai Peter Centennial Brown, known as “Three Fingers Brown,” in Game 3 of the 1906 World Series,   It was a series the Cubs were heavily favored to win, having won 116 games that year.  Brown was born in Nyesville, Indiana in 1876 (Oct. 19) and died in Terre Haute in 1948 (Feb. 14).  He was a two time World Series champion for the Cubs in 1907 and 1908.  It would be 108 years later, in 2016, that the Cubs would win another World Series.  Brown was also the pitching coach for the 1920 Indiana Hoosiers baseball team.  He was posthumously inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1949.

-The Fort Wayne Daisies  was a professional baseball team that played from 1945 through 1954, during the war years, in the All-American Girls Baseball League. The Daisies made the playoffs every year from 1947 to 1954, and finished in first from 1951-54, but never won a championship,

-May 4, 1871 the very first Major League game was played in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. The Ft. Wayne Kekiongas defeated the Forest Citys (Cleveland) 2-0 in the inaugural game of the National Association (player-organized – that later became the National League).  The decision to play the game in Ft. Wayne was the result of a coin flip, and a rain-out of the originally scheduled opener between Boston and D.C. made this game historically first. The game ended early with rain in the top of the 9th.  The Kekiongas paid a $10 league franchise fee to be part of baseball history.   Bobby Matthews, who’s credited with developing the spitball and was first to have his pitch curve away from batters, pitched the shutout and went on to win 297 games.  The Kekiongas did not make it through the season in this their final year since forming just after the Civil War.

The word Kekionga means Blackberry Patch in the language of the Miami Indians who settled at where the St. Joseph River flows into the St. Mary’s River to form the Maumee River.  Today the city of Ft. Wayne is known for the “Three Rivers,” Johnny Appleseed, and General “Mad” Anthony Wayne.  It’s also known for a sports heritage that includes the Kekiongas, the NBL Champion Zolner Pistons (who moved to Detroit), the Ft. Wayne Daisies All-American girl’s professional baseball team, and the Men’s and Girl’s 1944 World Champion Zolner Pistons softball teams.  It’s now home to three minor league sports teams:  Fort Wayne Comets hockey of the ECHL, Mad Ants of the NBA Development League, and the Tin Cups of baseball’s Midwest League.

-Eddie Cicotte of the 1906 Indianapolis Indians threw for what is believed to be the first time, a pitch gripped with the knuckles.  He then refined it into “The Finger Nail Ball” (Baseball Magazine article in 1908) that was more controllable.  He was suspended by the Chicago White Sox late in the 1920 season for his role in the “Black Sox” gambling scandal the year before.

-Albert Von Tilzer  – Indianapolis native (434 S. Illinois) composed “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.” It was a 1908 Tin Pan Alley song with lyrics written by Jack Norworth.  Both had apparently never attended a baseball game.  It was played for the first time at a ballpark in 1934 at a Los Angeles High school and later that year in the 4th game of the World Series at Sportsman’s Park, now Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

-Amos Rusie, “The Hoosier Thunderbolt” was born May 30, 1871 in Mooresville, Indiana.  His major league debut was on May 9, 1889 with the Indianapolis Hoosiers of the National League.  He spent the next eight years with the New York Giants from 1890 to 1898, and and his final year with the 1901 Cincinnati Reds.  The Giants traded him in 1900 for then unknown Christy Mathewson, who would play for them for 17 years as one of the most dominant pitchers in baseball history.

Rusi’s fastball speed, estimated to be in he upper 90s, and inherent wildness eventually led to an 1893 rule that changed the 50 foot pitching distance from the rubber to home plate to the modern day 60 feet.   His delivery was so erratic  that in 1890 he set a record of walking 289 batters.  The rule change came about when he hit Hughie Jennings with a fastball in the head in 1897.  Rusie was finally inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1977 by the Veterans Committee.

-Hank Aaron played briefly in Indianapolis for the Clowns before his contract was sold to the Milwaukee Braves in 1952 for $10,000.

-The Hoofeds – Hoosiers of the Federal League – were the 1914 champions of the short-lived rival league that folded just before Major League Baseball was exempted from antitrust laws.  Two future Hall of Famers played in Indianapolis that championship season – third baseman William Boyd McKechnie and outfielder Edd Roush.

The 1884 Hoosiers, for instance, hosted a Toledo Blue Stockings team with two African-American players – brothers Moses Fleetwood Walker and Weldy Walker – more than 50 years before Jackie Robinson broke the modern baseball color barrier.

The earliest-known African-American player in organized baseball, John “Bud” Fowler, whose playing days date to 1878, later played for teams in Indiana.

-The Indianapolis Blues of the three-year-old National League called the city home in 1878. The Indianapolis Hoosiers played in the precursor to the American League in 1884, and another Hoosiers team was fielded in the National League from 1887 to 1889.

-In 1967, Satchel Paige appeared with the Globetrotters in Chicago and played with the Indianapolis Clowns for $1,000 a month.

More from Scott Tartar article:   http://www.theindianalawyer.com/little-known-indiana-baseball-roots-rediscovered-in-lawyers-exhibit/PARAMS/article/35211
I just bought this book from author Chad Gramling:

https://www.amazon.com/Baseball-Fort-Wayne-Images/dp/073854129X

Historical Baseball Blunders:

For every hero,

It’s a shame.

There’s a goat,

To take the blame.  

In 1961, Tracy Stallard surrendered Roger Maris’ 61st Home Run.  He played for the Lafayette, Indiana Red Sox, also members of the Midwest League.  Being a goat in this case, means never being forgotten.  He claims to not have grooved the pitch.

Guy Bush gave up Babe Ruth’s last two home runs.  He hit Babe himself in Game 4 of the 1932 World Series, then gave up two hits and one earned run in a Cubs loss to the Yankees.  His goat-like stats in that series:  0-1 record, 14.29 ERA, and gave up nine earned runs in less than six innings of work.

“Rookie Fred Merkle’s “Boner” on September 23 1908 resulted in a one game playoff on  October 8, 1908 for the NL Penant.  That rematch was won by Hoosier native Mordecai Brown, who then went on to win the World Series against the Tigers.

Merkle had singled, putting a runner on third.  When Al Bridwell hit the apparent winner into Center, Merkle failed to touch second base as the fans rushed the field thinking the Giants had won.  Instead the Cubs’ Johnny Evers retrieved the ball and claimed the Merkle force-out, a decision enforced several days later and the game ruled a tie.  “Merkle’s Boner” was arguably  the most controversial decision in the history of the game.

Another boner belongs to Boston’s Bill Buckner, who’s ground ball fielding error in game 6 of the 1986 World Series against the Met’s.  It was the 10th inning with two outs, after three singles and a wild pitch put Mookie Wilson in position to win the game.  His slow dribbler down the first base line went between the legs of Buckner, allowing Ray Knight to score the winning run from second base.  Perhaps the greater boner was made by Boston manager, John McNamara, who chose not to relieve the ailing Buckner with the defensive replacement Stapleton as he had in games one, two, and five.  Boston was one out away from winning the Series for the first time since 1918, with a three games to two advantage before that ugly sequence led to a game 7.  Boston the went on to lead the decisive 7th Game  3-0 until the bottom of the 6th when the Mets scored three runs off Bruce Hurst, already named World Series MVP before that improbable comeback in Game 6.  Just another example of how the game of baseball turns a hero into a goat in just a blink of an eye.

In the 1988 World Series, Oakland Athletics pitching ace, Dennis Eckersley, made a hero of Dodger pinch-hitter Kirk Gibson.  On the other hand, maybe it was Gibson who made a goat out of Eckersley as they faced each other in the bottom of the 9th of Game One?  Gibson, who was not expected to play due to injuries in both legs, limped to the plate with two outs and in dramatic fashion hit the game winning homer on a full count.  He would not make another appearance in the series, but his Dodgers claimed the World Series title four games to one.   Eckersley would redeem himself in the 1989 World Series by winning Game 2 and getting the save in a Game 4 sweep of the Giants.  Then, he would go on to win the Cy Young and MVP in 1992 by posting 51 saves.

It was Eckersley who coined the phrase, “walk-off homer,” when describing the Gibson blast of 1988, but perhaps the most famous World Series “walk-off” occurred in 1960 when Bill Mazeroski won it for the Pittsburgh Pirates over the New York Yankees.  To this date, it is the only time that a Game 7 has ended on a homer, and in this case the goat was Ralph Tracy.  It was also the only series in history where the MVP  did not go to a member of the winning team.  Instead, Bobby Richardson, of the losing New York Yankees received the award.   Ralph Terry, ironically, went on to become the MVP of the 1962 World Series, after giving up a two-run homer to Cincinnati’s Gordy Coleman in Game 2, plus a 3-run homer to Frank Robinson in Game 5 of the 1961 World Series.

Known as the “Shot heard round the world,” Brooklyn Dodger’s pitcher, Ralph Branca, gave up another historic “walk-off” to New York Giants outfielder, Bobby Thomson, to win the National League Pennant in 1951.  It was the decisive blow in this three-game tie-breaker playoff series to determine who would eventually lose to the “third” New York baseball team, the Yankees in the 1951 World Series.  Thomson had also homered against Branca in Game 1,  In retrospect, maybe the goat was Dodger’s coach, Clyde Sukeforth, who apparently instructed manager Charlie Dressen to go with Branca?  Or was the true hero of the game a “cheater” who admittedly relayed stolen signs from Branca to Thomson?   Or is that just smart baseball?

With this in mind, other “cheaters” have taken a seat on the outside of baseball’s Hall of Fame.  Two of the best known examples are “Shoeless Joe” Jackson and Pete Rose, who turned heroic careers into goat stew.  Not to mention those who cheated through the use of steroids and other performance enhancing drugs.

Perhaps the greatest “boner,” the goat of all goats in baseball, occurred off the playing field.  On April 6, 1987, Al Campanis, the Los Angeles Dodgers VP and GM, was invited to appear on the ABC  Network news show, “Nightline” with Ted Koppel.  The appearance was to celebrate the 40th Anniversary of when Jackie Robinson broke Baseball’s color barrier.   Companis was also a friend, teammate, and roommate of Jackie Robinson, having come up together with the Dodger’s minor league team, the Montreal Royals.

Koppel’s question to Campanis was as to why there had been few black managers and no black general managers in Major League Baseball.   Campanis answered:  “I truly believe that they may not have some of the necessities to be, let’s say, a field manager, or perhaps a general manager. ”  He then went on uncomfortably, digging an even bigger hole in race relations. Needless to say, he conveniently resigned from the Dodger’s organization two days later, as civil rights groups showed their outrage.  Campanis’ comments literally set baseball relations back forty years, mimicking the exact same ridiculous  attitudes that prevailed pre-Robinson about the baseball abilities of black attitudes.  In defense of Campanis, many of his peers have suggested was known for butchering his words, and that what he really meant was  “lack of experience” instead of “necessities.”  However, unlike many of the players who had “a goat moment” usually got a second chance – Campanis never did.

Ralph Branca, who was the goat to Bobby Thomson’s heroic homer, was at least one time a hero on the field himself.  It was Branca who lined up  beside Jackie Robinson on Opening Day of 1947.  Other teammates refused.  Al Campanis agreed to be Robinson’s roommate – the very first interracial roommates in all of baseball.  Does that make Campanis less of a goat?

The game’s greatest hero, the Bambino, had his own curse that lasted from 1918 until 2004.  That’s only 86 years, compared with the Chicago Cubs “Curse of the Billy Goat,” that kept them from winning the World Series for 108 years. Now granted, both curses didn’t really get started with each team’s last World Series victory.  The Red Sox curse supposedly started in 1920 when Ruth was traded to the Yankees, while the Cubs curse allegedly began in 1945 by Billy Goat Tavern owner William Sianis.  The point is that both curses lasted a really long time, and thankfully both have finally ended.  Ironically, the Cubs lost that 1918 series to the Red Sox,  but did manage to break Ruth’s 29 1/3 scoreless inning streak that stood for 43 years – another really long time.

I love a really good “goat” story and there are many surrounding Major League Baseball.  I’ve tried to highlight a few throughout this particular article.  I would also be remiss if I did not bring up the name of Steve Bartman, who in my opinion has been unfairly judged as a goat in this long, painful process of making our Chicago Cubs heroes again, at last.   Finally, I would also like to take credit for ending the “Billy Goat Curse” by sitting in the top row of Wrigley Field for the game 5 victory, and then having lunch at the Billy Goat Tavern the next day.  I could literallyu feel the curse lift as we left the tavern in a giddy state.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Practicing for Retirement #1

Practicing for Retirement

Retirement is not something you can jump right into – it requires hours of practice.  This is especially true if you don’t have hobbies, play a lot of golf, or have the big bucks for travel.  In my situation, let’s also add a younger spouse that will probably continue to work for the next five or six years.  Her travel time will be limited compared to mine.  Plus, we enjoy traveling together, so compromises will need to be made.

How do I transition from the only thing I was ever good at – my professional career to a leisurely retirement?

Let’s start with a poem. It’s about the only hobby I currently have – writing humorous words of wisdom that rhyme.

Retirement coming,
Will the funds be there?
Or will we hear?
The cupboard is bare.

Something to look forward to,
Or something to dread?
Which will it be?
As I look ahead.

Is Social Security,
About to run out?
There certainly is,
A lot of doubt.

Invest and save,
For sixty-six years.
The market goes down,
And it all disappears.

The nest egg is broken,
Is the yoke on me?
The leaves have dried up.
On my money tree.

My Bucket list,
May have a hole.
Sunrise tomorrow,
Is my daily goal.

Those savvy investors,
Will travel at will.
But my only wish,
Is to never be ill.

Money in the bank,
Is one form of wealth.
But given a choice,
I’ll take good health.

Jobless hours,
To fill every day.
Volunteering to do,
Card games to play.

Sudoku, Crosswords,
Reading to do.
I might even try,
To learn something new.

It can’t be that hard,
To fill the time gap.
If you don’t have a hobby,
You just take a nap.

I’ll try retirement,
Until it’s all spent.
And then re-hirement,
May be the requirement.

Is it still retirement,
With part time work
When a former leader,
Is now just a clerk.

Where did the time go?
I’m sure I’ll say.
As exhaustion sets in,
At the end of each day.

Your daily to-dos,
Number only one.
And the day’s soon over,
But you’re only half done.

johnstonwrites.com
Copyright 2011

I’ve had too many friends die on the verge of retirement.  Too many more are in such bad health that they have to retire, and others who will never “get” to retire.  Retirement is supposedly a privilege, something that we’ve worked for all our lives, and a transition that definitely needs to be practiced.  I suggest that a lot of this practice should take place between the ages of 65 and 66, in that difficult year between getting that full Senior Citizen discount and finally collecting Social Security payouts.  Practice makes perfect…right? Since this poem was written over 5 years ago, you see where I’ve been practicing for some time.   Like all great skills, retirement does take practice.   Fortunately, I have a job where I can still work, gradually cutting back on hours, until I seamlessly move into retirement.   If I want to play golf, read a book, see a movie, or write, I simply just don’t let the job get in the way.  I just won’t make as much money – another adjustment that I’m going to have to make.  At this point in my life, retirement is my priority and I’m going to find a way to enjoy it – dammit!

I’m practicing right now when I should be working.  There is a certain sense of guilt that I feel, not putting 100% effort into my career as I’ve done my whole life.  It might even have been 150%, as I hoped to achieve that next level of success.  I had to be on time.  I had to be on top.  I had to win.  Can I just give that up?  No, it will take practice.  I now have to somehow win at retirement.  Maybe travel more than anyone else, read more than anyone else, or perhaps find the secret of life before anyone else does.  It sounds exhausting!

It will require a lot of practice.

I’m additionally challenged with a younger spouse that will no doubt resent my retirement on certain days, wishing that she could be like me.  I’ve tried to assemble a schedule of what a typical week of retirement would look like – so I can practice some of these.

I would start every day with a run, as I have for the last eight years.  I’m a lifetime member of the United States Streak Running Association (USSRA).  No, we don’t run naked through the streets.  Their website is www.runeveryday.com.  It’s comprised of other O.C.D individuals like myself who find a way to run a mile….every day…without fail.  I feel better when I go to the website, knowing their are others who are way more obsessive about this than I am, and some of them are retired.  One thing we all have in common is to find a  way not be on their retired running streak list!

I would also continue to have dog duty every day – another common thread with my current work day.  Perhaps, in retirement, I would take them on longer walks – so they are also concerned about my retirement, and will it interfere with their life of retirement?

I would write two mornings each week, along with laundry on Monday and vacuuming/dusting on Fridays.  I guess I won’t be looking forward to Fridays any more, while Mondays will still be a drag.  I’ve been practicing these skills for the last couple years but I’m still not even close to my wife’s expectations for these duties.   It used to be I would just intentionally screw them up – feigning total incompetency – so that I wouldn’t have to do them.  With her continued work schedule, I’m going to have to get really good at this.  Plus, try to develop some kitchen skills that I’ve also avoided most of my life.  I will need to learn to prepare at least one meal a week, even though she does enjoy doing the cooking.   I’ll also try to do the dry cleaning, food shopping, and other errands that she has somehow managed to do all these years.  I’m really not retiring after all, just starting my own maid service.  Yes, retirement is going to take practice.

We’ve already downsized and moved into a condo, so I guess these were the first steps into retirement.  Yard work will not be part of my retirement.  I will go outside to run and take care of the dogs, and I might do some small hikes and some skiing.  These physical activities,  I have planned for Tuesdays.

We’ll continue to enjoy date nights on Wednesday where we try out new restaurants.  The rules include dinner for just us two with no repeats.  I might also add a date lunch on Fridays to enhance the attention I pay to my working wife (Sugar Mamma).  Every retired person should have one of these luxuries, since pensions, social security, and IRAs only stretch so far.

I may do some volunteering, although this can be a lot like working.  You have to show up at a certain time, cooperate with other people, and leave without an adequate paycheck.  This may require a lot more practice than I think, but Thursday afternoons would fit in my retirement schedule.  I’m also thinking about monitoring some classes at the local colleges.  I like the idea of history classes and being around young people, yet I don’t want to be perceived as a “creepy old man” checking out the young chicks.   Do we have to do homework?  Who will I take to Homecoming?

Museums will also give me a chance to explore the past and put my life in perspective.  I’ve done some practicing here and I find it difficult to really take my time.  I seem to be in a hurry, unable to absorb the treasures around me.  I just want to be done – more practice is in order.  The same thing happens when I travel and even dine.  It’s like I’m in some kind of a race to complete a scorecard of activities or just move on to the next item on life’s list.  I will need to slow down, enjoy my meals, smell the roses, and be more attentive of the beauty that surrounds me.  All I hear are car horns, hurried footsteps, and frantic voices.  I’m worried that I will be unable to shift gears, change speeds, and savor life.  How do you practice this?

Movies and books will be an important part of my retirement plan.  In order to practice, I’ve made a list of the top 100 movies of all time, and have started the process of watching those I haven’t seen (or at least think I haven’t seen).   I remember when video stores still existed and were a ritualistic Friday night stop.  Too many times I would pick out a movie, start to watch it, and slowly begin to realize that I had already seen it.  One of the “sad” benefits of growing older, is forgetting that you’ve already watched a particular movie and getting to watch it again.  As a result, the flow of movies will never end throughout retirement.   There are also many classic novels that I haven’t read, so this should be an added benefit of leisurely time – if I can practice sitting still long enough?

Critical refection on these movies and books will keep my mind active and engaged.  A friend once told me to look for the 5 T’s when evaluating any story.  Does it capture your attention with Tears, Tots, Terriers, Terror, and Tits?  Does it make you cry, involve children and animals, scare you, or arouse you?  Most of the great movies and books incorporate all five elements.  I’ll keep these in mind as I continue to practice keeping me busy and you engaged in my writing.

Weekends and evenings with my wife should remain the same, unless I somehow project the perception that I’m a bum with no job and useless around the house.  If this be the case, retirement won’t have changed me a bit and all of this practice will have gone for nothing. 

Watching sports is the most critical component in my retirement plan – whether this is on TV or in person.   Living on the West Coast, I get my games earlier, so it does not screw up my afternoons or evenings, and many times I can enjoy a game while having lunch.  With the Cubs success, baseball has become my favorite sport, at least until college basketball starts.  The difference is that baseball often leads to napping, particularly during innings two through six.  I’ve been practicing watching sports all my life, utilizing  radio, mobile score updates, multiple TV screens, streaming, and fantasy games to excessively multi-task.  Baseball, in particular, brings back many childhood memories, and the enjoyment of collecting cards and stale bubble gum.

Every kid has a favorite player, typically someone who has achieved greatness in his or her sport.  Unfortunately, mine appears to be Hall of Fame caliber through my eyes only.  I will write more about #10 Sherm Lollar, Chicago White Sox catcher, in a separate post that I will call the “Case For Sherm.”  Somehow Sherm had a powerful influence on my mediocre sports career – maybe I should have gone with Mickey Mantle like everyone else?  Mickey seems to be the centerpiece of every baseball card collection.  I recently started a Sherm Lollar baseball card collection, just to be different.  I figured it would cost a lot less money, as an effort to practice the art of card collecting that I started as a youth.

I seem to be more of a completest than a collector, as I continue to practice patience, an important ingredient in the successful retirement formula.  My mother and grandfather left me a stamp collection, and my childhood neighbor got me into coin collecting and baseball cards.  So, the idea of getting back into collecting is deeply rooted in those enjoyable childhood years, long before working and retirement ever entered my mind.  It would be great to get back there, collecting Coca-Cola bottle caps from around the world, sea shells, butterflies to be mounted, leaves to be identified.  The only problem is that, as a child, I was never good at practicing anything.  As a result, I wasted some potential skills that I could have used in retirement like learning to play the piano or saxophone.  Both of which I refused to practice and therefore never learned to play.  See what happens when you don’t practice?

I could have completed my penny collection or my baseball card collection if I had just stuck with it.  Family, career, and other priorities got in my way.  Is there still a chance to go back in time and finish what I started?  That may be just what retirement is for – trying to be a kid again, although with less energy and more patience.  I’m ready to give it a try.

Practice To be continued……

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