After almost 8 months of waiting, I finally got a copy of my official birth certificate that now gives me undeniable proof of my birth mother’s identity and address. The only intriguing detail on the certificate that certainly doesn’t exist in modern times is a check box indicating that I was NOT legitimate.  I was born at 5:22 p.m. and adopted two months later.  I decided to try one other route on connecting with the birth mother – her daughter. I wrote a letter to her this morning:

Dear Janet,

I apologize for contacting you through work, but it was the only address that I had available. Last year I wrote a letter to your brother, Jerry, and I don’t know if he shared the information with you. He did not respond to me, which is understandable under the circumstances. Your mother, Edna Faye, gave birth to me 68 years ago while she was still in high school. I’ve attached a copy of the birth certificate that I just received from the Indiana State Department of Health. Documents pertaining to adoption have been legally sealed until just recently, plus I have other proof of my relationship to her. Jerry received some of this information in my certified letter, so I don’t know if any of it has been shared with your mother.

This is obviously a sensitive subject, but I wanted to make every effort to make contact with her for several reasons. Most importantly, I need her to know that I have lived a healthy, successful life thanks in part to her decision to give me up for adoption. She was only 17 at the time, so I’m sure that this was a very traumatic experience for her and those around her. I recently read the book, “The Girls Who Went Away,” that documents thousands of young women of this era that left their families in shame and gave up their babies, convinced that they could never raise them on their own. I’m just grateful that she gave me life. I know that she just turned 86 so I hope she’s in good health. I lost both of my adoptive parents at age 93. I have a son who’s 46 and three grandchildren that are part of Edna’s life legacy.

I have already found the birth father, that make the “illicit” union even more complicated. His name is Cecil Ralph Banister, a distant cousin, who joined the Marines after high school and probably never knew that she was pregnant. He was then married to Edna’s classmate, Marilyn Foist, for sixty years before his death in 2011. I met her and his five daughters last December in Scipio, Indiana. The visit was a result of a “half sibling” DNA match that I got through Ancestry.com. I also have many DNA matches on your side of the Banister family, so I know that Edna has been questioned about me and denies any relationship, that we now all know is true.

I am not trying to embarrass her, nor do I want anything from Edna. I’m comfortably retired and financially secure. Like other adoptees, I’m simply trying to complete a void in my life and would appreciate any information that you could provide. I’m interested in health issues and would love to know the story of Edna and Cecil. I know that she’s been married twice, with children from both husbands. I also sadly know that there have been issues with Cystic Fibrosis in the family. On Cecil’s side it’s been Lymphoma. It’s important that I know this information and that you know that I am a match for organ donation, should that need ever arise.

It would give me peace of mind just knowing that you received this letter. Further communication is up to you, but as time ticks away, the curiosity of “what if?” grows within me. If you would like more information about me, I write a blog at https://blog.johnstonwrites.com/category/diary-of-an-adoptee/ that has a specific category set up called “Diary of an Adoptee.” It documents the beginning of my search and some of the family connections that I’ve made throughout the last few years.

Best Regards, 

I mailed the letter quickly before any possible change of mind could take place, as I consider how information like this changes peoples lives.  In the next few weeks, I should also receive a packet from St. Elizabeth/Coleman, the adoption agency of record. Per the state’s direction, they are releasing all paperwork regarding my case that might include letters to a case worker, dates of admission and release, visits, conversation notes, medical records, and perhaps even an identification bracelet that I wore in the two months that I was under their care. This will be the subject of my next post once snail mail takes its painfully slow course. Don’t hold your breath!