In the first month of retirement, there is a point when you look at your in-box and wonder if something is wrong.  The hundreds of work related e-mails that you used to receive each day are suddenly gone, and you may feel a sense of concern.  You then look at your calendar and also find no activity.  I’m sure that the reaction varies by individual.  Some may look at it as being cut-off from reality.  I thought that it was refreshing, part of a feeling of freedom and release of responsibility from the working world.

After a couple of months, however, I’m beginning to get inundated with junk mail, and I can’t figure out why?  Do the e-mail gods know that I am retired and in need of attention?  Do they really think that I care about Viagra, Free Gifts, Skin Products, Testosterone boosts, insurance supplements, travel packages, vitamins, cremation, and Depends?  OK, maybe I do care a little bit about travel packages!  I find myself constantly unsubscribing from mailing lists, and it appears that it will become a full time job.

Some of these e-mails are the result of donations.  A friend’s mother dies and the obituary states that in lieu of flowers please donate to her favorite cause.  Once that donation is made, the request for additional donations is automatic and another not-for-profit buys a mailing list with your e-mail address.  Generosity like this often leads to frustration and E-mail hell.  I hate to use that word at my age because it’s related to the final step in the life cycle:  birth, school, career, marriage, children, (divorce), grandchildren, retirement, and death.  Once you hit the retirement step on the “Stairway to Heaven,” you have to start thinking about what’s next?  E-Mail Hell is apparently nothing compared to real Hell – if there is such a place?  E-Mail Hell is real.

I get e-mails from friends, from former co-workers, from family, from the bank, insurance companies, wineries, travel clubs, recruiters (still), retailers, concert promoters, not-for-profits, fraternities, and vendors.  The list goes on and on….whether I want them or not….whether I unsubscribe or not….I’m particularly frustrated with e-mails that have an “unsubscribe” option that doesn’t work or sends you to another site with another option.  I’m also leery that when I click on “unsubscribe” it automatically signs me up for some other scam.

In that “honeymoon” month between when you retire and when the vendors find out you’re retired, I made some mistakes.  I had too much time on my hands and too few e-mails to open.  I responded to some survey requests, “free money” retirement tips, and investment opportunities.  It was during that initial “panic” of losing touch with the working world and still worrying if I had saved enough for retirement. After a few months of reflection, I’m over that now.  I’m not looking back and just looking forward.  However, I’m certainly not looking forward to opening my e-mail inbox each morning or at any other time of the day!

I do continue to “stalk” friends on Facebook and LinkedIn in an effort to figure out what I should post.  I do know that it’s somewhere in between politics and excessive boastful travel.  I’m also still “afraid” that if I click on anything, I’m somehow going to regret it.  My career education included extensive training in digital communication.  I know too much about re-targeting and data collection to constantly keep me on my toes.  I’m also thinking about reviewing my cell phone plan.  I now get very few calls, more and more text messages, and the aforementioned onslaught of e-mails.  If I do get a phone call, it’s usually a solicitation, even though I’m supposedly on the no-call list.

Bottom line is that there is no E-Mail Heaven but there is clearly E-Mail Hell!  Just another Retirement Hassle that bedevils me!