I’m just not the type to live in the moment. Even in retirement, I just can’t help but worry about what life will be like ten years from now, and can’t seem to enjoy the comforts of now, weighted down by this heaviness. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want the beach life that we’re now experiencing, a daily swim in the pool, and family just around the corner? It’s an impatience that I’ve never gotten over, anxious to see what’s next. I often joke with my friends – “let’s just get this over!” Life almost seems too good to be true, and yet I’m oddly intent on making it more difficult. 

I hate hassles, yet I somehow thrive on them. I’m angry when setbacks occur but once they are resolved there’s a sense of accomplishment. Today, I have a towel rack to hang, electronic components to install, app problems to deal with, and a meeting at the bank. I’m not fighting health problems or mourning the loss of someone, as is the case with other friends and acquaintances. I’m a lucky man but can’t seem to find appreciation.  I’d rather worry about when the money might run out or what next will break? This makes me sad. 

Where’s that rainbow and the pot of gold at the end? I’m too focused on the end rather than the journey, and this needs to change. In the meantime, I’ve got all these hassles to contend with, like a missing shipment, a TV that shuts off by itself, and claims paperwork to fill out. If it weren’t for the hassles in retirement, there wouldn’t be anything to keep me busy! Busy is the new Happy!