For a pessimist like me, it’s hard to be optimistic in times like this. It was an odd feeling being out in the real world yesterday where stores were open and restaurants were serving food at tables. It’s been too many months of quiet streets, to-go food, and on-line friendships. It almost felt surreal being face-to-face with friends and drinking wine in public. At the same time, people all over the world continue to get sick and the streets are full of riots. The economy is suffering while the stock market goes up. It’s difficult to make sense of it all, especially for a pessimist like me.

My glass of wine was never half-full or half-empty yesterday, because we were just tasting. They were not generous pours but rather a couple of sips from  each bottle. In an effort to keep their distance, the masked servers delivered us small carafes and we were responsible for dividing between the six of us. It was not like the “old days” where you could see their smiles and if you smiled back they might give you a little more. It also took us a while to get our social skills back after months of isolation. The wine was not flowing – neither was the conversation. We had a good time together, as always, but I could tell that everyone was feeling like they just woke up from a Rip Van Winkle nap. 

We’ve abruptly come out of “isolation hibernation” and it will take time to adjust from time alone at home. I was exhausted after driving and having to actually think. It was the longest distance I had driven in some time, about two-and-a-half hours round-trip. I also had to break out of my habit of sitting alone. It’s hard work making conversation when you’re not used to socializing. I began to think about our trip to Florida later this week and how stressful it will be making a life-changing decision about housing. In addition, there will be airports, shuttles, rental cards, and planes to navigate. I’m trying to be optimistic, but pessimistic me is on my other shoulder.       

I’d like to think that everything will return to normal, but that doesn’t exist anymore. Is this being pessimistic or realistic? By definition, a pessimist tends to “see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.” In my opinion, it’s not always about negative thinking and can have its benefits. I see it as simply planning ahead, while anticipating all the things that could go wrong. Personally, I can better deal with set-backs if they turn out to be better than the nightmares of my imagination. “Don’t even go there,” warns the optimist. “Too late!” replies pessimistic me.