I’m a few steps away from my 400th blog post, keeping pace with my daily goal, plus I just took the time to mail a certified letter to the son of my probable birth mother. Both are monumental steps on my resolutions chart for 2018. As I drove to the Postal Annex to set up delivery, I thought of the positive and negative consequences associated with presenting this earthshaking news to potentially a second family:

 

  • They would be excited to hear from me and there would be a fairy tale like reunion.
  • I could have the wrong address.
  • There could be total denial.
  • My birth mother could be dead.
  • She could be suffering from Alzheimer’s like my adopted father and not remember anything about me.
  • I could get no response.
  • I could have opened a can of worms.
  • I could have the wrong person.
  • The son might decide to ignore the information and not share it with my birthmother.
  • The son could decide that it wasn’t in his mother’s best interest.
  • They could think it was a scam.
  • I could have just ruined his mother’s reputation.
  • I could have dredged up some bad memories for my birth mother (or some good ones).
  • They could ask me for financial help on a medical or housing issue, and could become a burden on my conscience.
  • Meeting them could result in reduced expectations.
  • Would I have to send a Mother’s Day and Birthday card?
  • What more do I want to know about her life, and how will that give me comfort?
  • Do I really want a second family? It didn’t work out so well in the long run for my adopted sister and her birth mother.

 

Am I prepared for either acceptance or rejection? Yes, in fact I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I’ve taken the first step now all I can do is wait.

Life goes on. I feel good that I’ve done everything I can on attempting to solve the 66 year old mystery of my life. Today, I have two dental appointments and will go to the Portland Art Museum between. The dogs have already had two outings and I picked up kibbles for them at the vet this morning. We’ve also scheduled shore excursions for our March cruise and airline tickets for Steamboat in about three weeks. February also includes a business trip to Phoenix and a side excursion to visit friends in Tucson. We’ll also go back to Indiana for a baby shower and to check on my wife’s mother. With all these plans, it will be tough for me to work in this second family.

 

By the way, I did get a substantial refund from Hertz (See Post) but failed to earn a sympathy credit from American Airlines. Retirement has been all about earning compensation for bad investments. I also had success from Apple, that saved me buying another watch. When you have the time, you can sometimes turn retirement lemons into lemonade.