There are several different titles for fathers:

The Father
Holy Father
Biological Father
Grandfather
Godfather
Step-Father
Father-Figure
Pledge Father
Expectant Father
Presumed Father
Father Time

How a father ranks on this list varies with the person and the relationship. A step-father, like myself, is always trying to figure out how you fit into your wife’s daughter’s life.  As both of my step-daughters prepare for weddings in the next two months, they are pressured by endless opinions from friends and family as to the type of wedding they should plan. Where should it be? Who should be involved? Who should pay for what? It makes any sane couple want to elope. As the brides-to-be shared their frustrations of how to please everyone, I felt that I should add my two-cents-worth.

Here’s what I came up with (in my typical tongue-in-cheek manner):

Step-Suggestions

It’s your wedding (maybe your fiance’s too?).

The “Honeymoon” should never end whether you’re at a resort or simply at home.

Life is much simpler with one child or less.

Buying a home is an over-rated dream.

You’ve been fortunate finding joint jobs and selling property so you can move forward. It’s a sign of marital fortune. It doesn’t work out for everyone. I have the home scars to prove it. (See next suggestion).

Love conquers all – remember that in times of trouble.

You’ve seen more of the world already than most of us with the except of one cousin. (See next suggestion.)

Travel together frequently – continue to make treasured memories. There’s nothing more valuable.

Root for the home team -except maybe the Warriors. It’s Peanuts Woodstock bobble-head night at AT&T Park during your reception, so all your guests are missing out. (See next suggestion)

Have a bobble-head created for the two of you. Nodding heads when you say, “I Do.”

Although you enjoy board games, your marriage should not be a “game” of chance (See next suggestion).

Have board games at the reception for those who don’t dance.

If the earth moves on your wedding night – it might be an earthquake.

Turn your phone off on the wedding day, avoiding any last minute critique that will certainly be offered. 

Those that will criticize or be judgmental of any of your decisions you can count on one hand – and they don’t count. (See next suggestion)

Free booze will limit any unwanted criticism.

Take pride in knowing you have two step parents and not more.

If you can live in Decatur – you can accomplish anything.

BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) is your new best friend.

Tinker, our oldest schnauzer, would gladly be a maid of honor if you had invited her – probably an oversight.

Just because you’re now a “California Girl” don’t act like one.

The Presidio site of the wedding has been a fortified location since 1776. Your union is part of history – your love for each other should never be.

Don’t listen to any of these suggestions. Make the day your own.