To pee or not to pee? – that is the question! The answer is easy but the road to finding a solution to my prostrate problem has been frustrating. The first urologist I went to lasted only a few months, eventually closing his Elite Urology office here in Venice after losing some key members of his staff. He convinced me that the best course of action was to participate a clinical study for a device called a “butterfly.” The procedure had been perfected in Israel and they were looking for patient results that would allow them to get FDA approval here in the states. It made sense to me, plus I was to be paid. However, soon after signing me up, he abandoned the project here locally, offering the nearest option to be Advanced Urology in St. Petersburg. It was a long drive, but I was a willing subject after already wasting the first three months waiting to get involved. 

I did all the testing over again, both written and clinical, encouraged that I would be accepted to participate. Many embarrassing and invasive probes were made in the process. A surgery date for tomorrow was eventually scheduled, but I would not know if I would get the actual device or a placebo, so much needed relief was not guaranteed. I’ve spent the last year with constant urges to pee all day long and annoying back-to-back-one-and-a-half hour naps each night before another trip to the john. When out and about, I never walk by a restroom without stopping. I was envious of a neighbor who now claims to “pee like a teenager” after his recent surgery.

Dribbling like I often do should only be done on the basketball court, and a painful bladder often results in only a thimble full of output. Even the possibility of getting this device kept me content these past few months, knowing that in no longer than three months later, I would get the actual surgery should I be the unlucky recipient of a caterpillar rather than a butterfly. However, late last week, I was notified that there was a .01% discrepancy in my written tests. I could not believe that these subjective answers on how often I go could possibly disqualify me from the study. As a result, no surgery and no compensation!

I can only laugh because with two strikes against this clinical test, maybe something could have gone wrong in surgery? I’m convinced that the whole thing was a sham and just not to be, maybe in my best interest. However, I’m still in bladder hell, with a need to find a new urologist and optional procedure. I’ll know more at the end of this month when I find out the status of my heart surgery. In the meantime, I will continue to suffer before, during, and after another trip to the toilet. To pee or not to pee – I wonder if Shakespeare had a similar problem? I paraphrase: Whether ’tis nobler in the prostrate to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous pressure, or to take Arms against a Sea of bladder troubles, and by opposing end them: to die, to sleep no more.