It’s not a hard rain, but rather a cold rain that falls today. After going out for breakfast and groceries, we’ll spend the rest of the day near the warm living room fire. Because of the precipitation, the pups were deprived of their long walk and I ran on the treadmill, trying to get through another chapter of Grant and the graphic Civil War battle scenes.  I can’t think of another book where I have had to look up as many definitions, conveniently an easy click on the IPad.

We went to see the movie Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri, a twisted tale well worth seeing. The acting is superb on many levels and worthy of the Golden Globe accolades that it received. We’ve also finished watching A Handmaid’s Tale, an equally dark story that easily measures up to the violence, racism, and fowl language of Billboards.

As I watched the mover, I thought about the time when I almost went into the billboard business while living in Austin. They say you need to “say it” in 7 words or less to utilize a billboard message effectively,  and ironically I couldn’t even speak 7 words at that time. I was having some serious throat issues during the time I was interviewing, and went through a series of laser procedures to control the growth of a wart on my vocal cords. I did not get the job for this very reason, but my wife was soon transferred here to Portland, so it didn’t really matter. In the meantime, I liked to joke about my throat issues proclaiming, “at least my warts are on the inside.”

The laser procedures turned out to be a temporary fix as the wart would stubbornly soon grow back. I would also have to drive down to San Antonio, a three-hour round trip for the treatment. My voice problems and sore throats ultimately ended my Toastmaster’s Club involvement, and prevented comfortable engagement in job-related networking events that had always been a key component in new business development. I could sense that retirement was just around the corner.

After we got settled in Portland, I immediately sought a new doctor, who recommended the use of carbon dioxide to freeze the wart on my vocal cords. I was very skeptical, especially after it took weeks to heal. However, once I was able to speak comfortably the problem has since never reoccurred. However, all those procedures had taken a toll on my voice, and consequently it doesn’t take long for me to get hoarse. I would quickly get tired of talking on the phone, so less effective business communication techniques like e-mail and texting became a necessity for me on the job. Fortunately, modern business interaction had evolved to become less face-to-face and more electronic. I was just more effective with networking events, lunches, and belly-to-belly conversation, so I’m glad that retirement has come to the rescue. In fact, the other night I attended an Oldtimer’s Baseball Association banquet, and immediately exhausted my voice in that loud networking environment before the dinner. It was a good reminder of why I was now on the bench.

Yes, warts were my undoing in the business world, as my voice was always one of my strongest assets. I sang in the choir, took voice lessons, learned to sing opera, achieved great heights in public speaking, and enjoyed a successful career in broadcasting. When I would tell people that I worked for a TV or radio station, they would always ask if I was on the air? When I would respond by admitting that I sold advertising, the conversation quickly ended because they realized that I wasn’t a celebrity, and they didn’t comprehend what I did for a living. I still believe that several of my relatives always thought that I sold radio receivers and TV sets, rather than advertising campaigns. In retrospect, warts were about as glamorous as my career, but it eventually led to a comfortable retirement.