Retirement is not without Hassles: Where did my brain go? #25

If it weren’t for Search Engines like Google and Foxfire, I would spend half my hours trying to remember something I once knew.  It’s often said about older adults:  “They’ve forgotten more than I know.”  Even facts that I’ve recently learned seem to disappear after a few days, as I try to relate them to others.  More often than not, I find myself going back to the same source to learn the same thing over again.  Deteriorating memory is definitely one of the hassles of retirement.  It played a big role in me ultimately making the retirement decision.

I didn’t always have great long-term memory.  I kept diaries and lists to remind me where I was and what I did each day. However, my short term memory was strong, helping me study for tests and presentations.   It’s not the case anymore.  I think it’s one of the reasons I like to write more as I get older.  It’s like laying a foundation – if you do it right it stays in place for awhile.  I may not remember what I wrote yesterday, but others can read about it in the future.

Memory is a big concern to me,  My father had Alzheimer’s (ironically, I can never remember how to spell it!).  I watched a great mind crumble through the years.  It was horrifying.  I hope it doesn’t happen to me.  He couldn’t remember who I was and that alone was disheartening.  I’ve always tried to diffuse the cruel nature of Alzheimer’s through humor.  In fact, one of my favorite stories to tell about my dad in his final days was about his favorite team, the Chicago Cubs.  He had a big influence on my nephew, his grandson.  They would watch games together, and I was fortunate to get the three of us to several games at Wrigley Field through the years.  My nephew, Travis, had been on the waiting list for season tickets for many years, and my dad was in a hospice bed when Travis finally got the call from the Cubs ticket office.  My dad had been unresponsive for several days, during Travis’ frequent visits, but on this particular day things were different.  “Hey, Grandpa, I got a call from the Cubs.  I’ve got season tickets,”  Travis exclaimed with joy.  It was like a jolt of current from a resuscitation device.  My dad suddenly shot up in bed and winked at him – his first response to anything or anyone in some time.  At my dad’s funeral weeks later, we dressed him in Cubs blue and red and laid him to rest.  Travis shared the season ticket story with me at the Funeral Home.  We were all frankly relieved that he had passed peacefully, since he remembered little about us and his life except the fact that he was a Cubs fan.  I said with a smile to Travis, ” you should have told him the Cubs won the World Series – he might still be alive!”  Of course, two years later the Cubs actually did win the World Series.  The Championship Season of 2016 was a great bonding experience for my nephew, my son, Adam, and I – all with thoughts of the man that brought us all together to celebrate the Cubs victory.  Travis’ season tickets also made it possible for me to spread some ashes on the Wrigley Field third base line near the outfield wall.

Hopefully, I will always retain this memory of my dad and the Cubs.  The fear is that someday I might not remember.  I do not have a direct genetic connection to Alzheimer’s Disease, since I was adopted.  However, I also don’t know any of my family medical history which is oddly comforting.  At least I don’t know what’s coming!

Sports and travel help us create memories.  This is why they’re so important to me.  As I look back over my diaries and lists, I’ve created an aid to help me remember all these great moments of life.  While I’m physically and mentally able to travel, I plan to do as much of it as possible in retirement.  For example, my son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren will join my wife and I in San Francisco on August 7th to see the Cubs and the Giants play.  We’ll of course all share memories of my mother and father, whether the Cubs win or lose.