Category: Tinker (Page 6 of 15)

Our first schnauzer

Retirement is not without Hassles: Wedding Plans #858

March 2, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

It’s my wife’s weekend but just another day of retirement for me. We’ll start out her Saturday with the dogs and exercise with them on our “Schnauzerthon.” Tinker, our oldest schnauzer, just turned 15 and is limping badly. Her 105-year old little legs deserve a carriage ride. This is why we bought the Air Buggy that we push her in while sister Tally scampers ahead. The “Schnauzerthon” combines my morning run with a long walk for my wife. We take turns pushing the stroller and trying to contain Tally on her leash. It takes about an hour and is part of my working wife’s weekend routine. There are Marathons and Triathlons, but every great endurance athlete should try a “Schnauzerthon.”

My wife is taking her oldest daughter shopping later this afternoon for a wedding dress. She and I are also going to a birthday party luncheon for a 70-year old friend – at least he won’t be keeping us up late. Both of these life events were once hard to imagine – 70 year old friends and married children. We must be growing old. I’m only a little over my two years from my 70th “blowout.” Weddings are about as positive as it gets any more, since at this age it’s mostly funerals.

The birthday event today was at McMenamin’s Edgefield, a venue that we had always wanted to check out. It’s the historic site of a former “Poor Farm,” as well as a vineyard, golf course, spa, and popular summer concert hot spot. I read a custom poem as part of the traditional “old man” birthday roast that highlighted the drawn-out ceremonies. It made fun of the proper pronunciation of the birthday boy’s name – silent “k” and “i before e.” As a fellow Cubs fan, I buy some of my baseball cards from him, so it’s not been a long-standing relationship. I got a few scattered laughs for my efforts:

KNEIS not Niece

Seventy-year old friends,
Are rare for me.
I like to hang around
With younger folks, see?

Parties are for kids,
Not those turning gray.
But now that I’m here.
Happy Birthday anyway.

Turn up your hearing aids,
And lean on your canes.
Enjoy some cake
Forget about your pains.

You went over the hill,
Twenty years ago.
Social Security is now,
Your main source of dough

This makes you desperate,
To sell us KNEIS cards.
To protect our life savings,
Needing more than shin-guards.

Ernie couldn’t make it,
Or any top draft picks.
Sherm would be here,
But he died at fifty-six.

Bryzzo was busy,
Joe Maddux sends regrets.
Wrigley Field Management,
Warns of optimistic bets.

Nice-ler or Niece-ler?
It’s pronounced how?
As long as you’re buying,
Either version you’ll allow.

This has been an issue,
All of your KNEIS life.
Then you shared this problem,
With your daughters and wife.

For the “Mr. Cub” title,
You’re next in line.
They’ll win it again,
In year 2109.

Crib to Classroom,
Office to Booth.
Your career has focused,
On educating our youth.

You’re a kid again,
Every baseball season.
Being close to the game,
Gives all if us “reason.”

Buying and selling,
Making a trade.
Just like in teaching,
Comes down to a grade.

You get us together,
To share what we love.
We bring our leather wallet,
Instead of a glove.

Thanks for the invite,
And not keeping us up late.
Now take out your dentures,
And Step up to your Plate.

His last name is memorable because it is pronounced the same as one of my college fraternity brothers, who eventually stole and married my girl friend. He probably did both her and me a favor, so I held only a short grudge. It was great to get out of the house on a beautiful, sunny afternoon and see some of the Portland area peaks that have been recently hidden by rain clouds. From a couple wearing bath robes to those holding golf clubs, we got the full perspective of the property. My wife will spend the rest of the day with her daughter talking wedding plans. I’m glad they’re getting together because it keeps me from going to a local production of the musical Jesus Christ Superstar. I’m free to join a friend for fried chicken and beer tonight. Cheers to both the bride and my birthday buddy!

Creature Features: Petnotism #854

February 27, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Have you ever noticed your pets staring at you, trying desperately to force their will on you? They look you in the eyes and put you in a trance, repeating thoughts of “feed me now, feed me more, or feed me again.” Don’t look at them or you might find yourself catering to their silent pleas or worse yet turning to stone. Like legends of Medussa in Greek Mythology, dogs and cats have special powers to make you weak when it comes to their care and feeding. I call it “Petnotism,” a form of hypnotism that every pet lover needs to protect themselves from at all costs.

My wife came home from the store the other day, thinking that she had bought turkey slices to supplement our pet’s diets. We have a household tradition that we follow called “ham time,” where we give them a “meat treat” each morning and again as a bedtime snack. It supposedly adds protein, as once recommended by a Vet. At one time, we did actually use ham but years ago we switched to healthier turkey. For some “odd” reason, she bought home ham slices the other day. The reason? Petnotism.

I caught them staring at her this morning, but quickly averted my eyes as a precaution. They were trying to encourage extra servings, and surrounded her in the kitchen like a pack of hungry wolves. With two dogs and a cat simultaneously giving her “the look,” it was difficult not to fill their bowls more or add another treat to the feeding routing. They know she is going off to work and begin to project guilty feelings of being left alone all day with “nothing but dad” to take care of them. Tally gets an extra serving of egg, while Tinker, who’s allergic, fixes her needy eyes on my unsuspecting wife. It’s pathetic to watch them “work” her, and then Frankie our cat will “play” her for some chicken gravy. None of this is good for them, but it makes their humans feel generous and caring. It’s all in the eyes! Petnotism.

Tinker is our oldest schnauzer, who is perpetually hungry. It probably didn’t help that her lab tests from earlier this week showed signs of a parasite, plus she takes steroids. I know she’s just trying to make me feel sorry for her. It’s her 15th birthday this week and she has an unavoidable Medusa-like stare. Even Tally, her younger schnauzer-sister, has developed some of her “Sirenesque” skills, utilizing silent songs (or yelps) of seduction. They all coerced us into sharing our lobster the other night, a very expensive pet treat. How could we resist their stares, lined-up next to each other by the kitchen table? Dog. Dog. Cat. All standing at attention! Six pleading eyes and three twitching noses. Petnotism.

Tinker found the Diet Coke can I used to roast “beer can” chicken the other night. Much like a cartoon character she “floated” towards the leftover scent. It was in the bag of recyclables out in the garage that normally does not draw her attention. Her “Hungry Eyes” had earned her a fill of the real stuff this week, as well. Both Frankie and Tally shared in this dining conquest, but Tinker got the most, stealing from her furry sisters. When we serve their Cesar meals each night, Tinker gobbles hers down and then starts on Tally’s. This is why Tinker gained weight on the Vet scales, while Tally lost a pound. Frankie, on the other hand, has been suffering with a urinary tract infection that has caused her to be little more than a skeleton covered in fluffy white hair. Her Frank Sinatra-like blue eyes are particularly influential in getting her way. They all are spoiled rotten. Petnotism.

It’s been a tough month for all our needful creatures. Despite the joy of celebrating birthdays of 18, 15, and 9 years respectively, they’re also becoming a costly group of critters. We’ve had shots, pills, sitters, special diet needs, and accessories that have added up to nearly $2,000. Pet. Vet. Debt. In the process, they’ve each expressed their concerns through the look in their eyes and a projected aura of frailty and starvation. They’ve of course “worked” this into extra treats, longer walks, rides in the car, and more attention. Tinker aggressively barks out the need to be lifted on the couch or the bed. I’m constantly busy applying eye drops, shooting medication into their mouths with a syringe, and forcing pills down their throats with the help of cheese to disguise any distaste. It’s medication every morning, noon, and night with no end in sight. This naturally subjects me to their dangerous eyes and unavoidable “Petnotism.”

They’re calling me right now!

Retirement is not without Hassles: Dogg #838

February 11, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

If a couple of bad I.U. basketball losses this week aren’t enough to lower my spirits then certainly reading the first draft of my latest Last Will will! I’m in the final stages of updating this document, along with healthcare directives. It’s contents are certainly in that same life or death category as I.U. basketball. At least, unlike most college basketball enthusiasts, I’m not waiting for that first National Championship. Been there…done that.

With my wife out of town on business, the dogs and I watched the Grammy Awards last night. It looks like the “Snowmageddon” that they were predicting for our area has instead turned to rain. There should be few problems in getting to the airport tomorrow morning for an early flight. Our pet sitter will be here to take over my responsibilities, as I’ve updated the specific “Pet Care Instructions.” I’m sure she will give them more attention than I do. Tinker, our eldest schnauzer turns 15 in a few weeks and needs more help than Tally. Tally can never get enough walks, while Tinker can never get enough naps. They were hoping that Snoop Doggy Dogg might finally get a Grammy after 17 nominations. I told them that I thought the 47-year old rapper and actor had given up after a third straight year of no recognition. They particularly liked his second album, Tha Doggfather and assumed it was written about me. (See Post #763). One of my close Portland friends has a brother who’s currently touring with poor, win-deprived, Snopp.

I watched the Ray Romano comedy special on Netflix yesterday. My wife and I both met him at the Final Four in Indianapolis back in March of 1997 just after CBS launched Everybody Loves Raymond. The popular TV show first aired on September 13, 1996, so he was still a virtual unknown celebrity to most of us. My future second wife and I had yet to get together but worked for the same CBS affiliate WISH-TV8. We were the suite hosts at the RCA Dome for him and did the introductions to some of our advertising buyers. Twenty-two years later, the Netflix special reminded me of what a great guy he was to meet, and it still doesn’t look like success has gone to his head. Although it was hilarious, I still somehow managed to fall asleep after getting up a 5 a.m. for an unexpected drive to the airport. After my nap, I watched the last 15 minutes and would recommend it to anyone. Pretty clean, too!

Arizona beat Kentucky that year to win it all. Any Kentucky loss is a big win for me! Indiana last won the National title in 1987, but surprisingly got to the Final Four in 2002 when it was played in Atlanta. I mention this because it was really the last good year of I.U. basketball, now struggling with a 17-year drought. Basketball life has not been good, but I now have the “Will to live,” once these final revisions are made. The pets are mentioned in our “exit plan,” along with the division of our other important assets. Speaking of 17 disappointing years (and 105 dog years), I hope for the dogs sake that Snoop Dogg finally wins a Grammy Award. Which will come first to win the trophy- I.U. or
Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr ?

Creature Features: Let’s Pawty #819

January 25, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Tally, our youngest schnauzer celebrated her 9th birthday yesterday. Did she get cake? No, she got a trip to the vet to check out a lump on her underbelly. It wasn’t as if I cruelly planned it this way; it was the soonest available date. They did a quick biopsy and found it to be nothing but fatty tissue, so it turned out to be a good birthday gift. Let’s Pawty like it’s 1999! Tally is typically a very healthy dog and hopefully that will continue for many more years. Other than an eye issue and required annual physicals, she has kept us out of vet debt. Pet.Vet.Debt.

Our older schnauzer Tinker, will turn 15 in another month. Pawty Time Again! Like her dog-sister Tally, she was adopted so their actual birth dates may not be totally accurate. Frankie, our Burmese kitty, on the other hand, was purchased at birth from a breeder 18 years ago next month. Unlike the original dark brown variety, Frankie is pure white. We like the fact that she has hair rather than fur and rarely sheds. Apparently she’s a descendant of one female cat called Wong Mau, which was brought from Burma to America in 1930 and bred with American Siamese. The average life span of a Burmese is 16-18 years, so with this upcoming birthday in a few weeks she will defy the odds. Pawty On, Garth!

We haven’t told Frankie that we will be traveling to her homeland of Thailand in two months, but she’s apparently a native Hoosier and made a part of our family while we lived in Indianapolis, Indiana. Tinker is from Decatur, Illinois, while Texas Tally is from Austin. I guess you could say we have a world of pets, although we likely won’t have a Portland pet, breaking the tradition of a pet in every “port” where we’ve lived. With our plans for extensive retirement travel in four years, taking care of pets simply won’t fit in. If we’re fortunate to still have Tally around, we’ll probably have also somehow resisted the temptation to find her a Tinker-like companion.

Tinker and Frankie would probably react with separate thoughts of “I’m not dead yet.” This was my very reaction to sentiments from friends and family after last week’s unexpected visit to the Emergency Room. (See Post #810). Frankie is getting a bit frail and apparently gave one of her nine lives to Tinker and they’re both very much alive despite their combined 33 years. A year ago, Tinker was constantly at the vet for ear infections, arthritis, dry eye, lumps, moles, and allergy concerns. This is when I originally started writing about “Pet.Vet.Debt” and “Schnauzer on Steroids.” (See Post #67). Yesterday, was the first time that I took both dogs to the vet and Tinker’s ailments were not the center of attention. In fact, they all commented on how well she was doing. Tinker may very well be around when my wife finally earns retirement and our celebratory trip around the world.

Until then, we’ll be celebrating the birthdays of Tinker, Tally, and Frankie, all within a one-month span of Pawty after Pawty. Tinker and Tally will be back at the vet for their annual check-ups just before Frankie’s big day. Frankie is an indoor kitty and seldom leaves the comforts of our home. She has, however, gone to the vet due to two urinary tract infections and taken long car rides from Indy to Decatur to Austin to Portland, so she’s a well-traveled cat. I doubt she can talk us into taking her with us to Thailand, but we’ll bring her back a souvenir. While we’re gone, all of our fur buddies will be under the care of our pet sitter. Maybe…they will all Pawdy in our absence?

Retirement is not without Hassles: Treadmill #809

January 17, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

If you ever had a pet mouse, as I once did, then you know that as they spin on their wheel they go nowhere fast. I feel the same way any time I run on a treadmill. My preference is to run outdoors, but after yesterday’s incident, I need to build up my confidence. (See Post #808). The only other times I use the treadmill is in really icy weather for fear of falling, since I don’t have the same resilience that I enjoyed even 10 years ago. In addition, my speed is slower and my balance has suffered. I assured my wife that I would get in my miles on the treadmill the next two days with the emergency stop clip attached until we both do this weekend’s planned “Schnauzerthons.” She’ll be able to keep an eye on me as she walks with our schnauzer Tally while I run, pushing Tinker securely in her stroller.

I woke up this morning with the same dull sinus headache that I experienced after yesterday’s spell of dizziness. Since I wasn’t diagnosed with a stroke, it could be an inner ear infection. I’m surprised with all the tests that they performed that they didn’t find something wrong. The MRI was a strange experience with the banging and high-pitched noises that accompanied the thorough examination. It was like something was looking into my very soul, searching for a flaw. I couldn’t help but think of all the people who spent time in that very tube only to learn that their insides were being ravaged by some cruel disease. I was lucky to escape unfazed.

I’m a little more sensitive about cancer and heart problems than I was a few weeks ago. I just learned that my suspected birth father was affected in later life by both of these afflictions that eventually led to his passing at age 79. As an adopted child, I had no concept of these genetic family health issues until just recently. Neither was a factor with the parents who raised me, but our genes were not connected. They both lived into their early 90’s, and their parents also lived healthy, long lives. By the same token, my presumed birth mother is reportedly still alive and well at age 85 but will not acknowledge our relationship despite confirmed adoption records. Yesterday’s time in the Emergency Room, contemplating a potential stroke, was my first eye-opening brush with mortality, so a few days on the mouse wheel is a small price to pay.

Retirement is not without Hassles: Emergency Room #808

January 16, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Today started out like any ordinary day. I got up at the same time, did my strength & stretching exercises, took our two schnauzers outside, and started my 3-mile run. It was day 3,671 of my running streak, a ritual that continues to be an important part of my life. Does a mile or more a day keep the doctor away? Well, I guess not.

It was bitter cold for Portland, Oregon this morning with strong winds and spitting snow. Believe me, it was much preferred over the typical light rain at this time of year. I have a 3.1 mile route that I follow religiously every week day. If time is short, I will cut it down to just over one mile, sticking to the minimum daily requirement for membership in the United States Running Streak Association (USRSA). Their website is www.runeveryday.com. It’s the same acronym as the United States Racquet Stringers Association, so you don’t get confused. And no, we don’t run naked – just every day. On weekends, I run with our dogs, sometimes pushing a stroller for aging Tinker, and my wife. We call it our “Schnauzerthon,” for lack of a better word.

I got through the first mile this morning in typical fashion, but shortly after a school bus loading kids slowed me down. While I was waiting for it to pass, I began to feel dizzy and used a mailbox for support. As I attempted to restart, I began to stagger wildly to the right and eventually stumbled. Fortunately, several cars stopped as a crawled to get off to the side of the road. One woman in particular, who I believe was named Amy, was very concerned with my condition and offered to get me to the hospital. There was no sense of numbness or loss of vision and I never lost consciousness. Nonetheless, I had her take me home so my wife could drive me to the Emergency Room.

I’m very appreciative that she stopped, and maybe some follow-up appointments will determine the cause. CT and MRI Scans showed no evidence of a problem, and X-rays proved conclusive that I definitely have a brain and a heart. I spent about 6 hours at the hospital, with my wife faithfully beside. She was much more concerned than me, and was disturbed that I didn’t give her the details of my need to see a doctor until we were in the car. I was pretty nonchalant once Amy got me home – perhaps a bit stunned. My wife was still getting ready for work, so I changed out of my sweaty clothes and waited patiently for her to finish. Once all the doctors, nurses, and technicians converged by my bedside, she was suddenly remorseful that she didn’t react faster. That was my fault, and we learned that you have an hour to get medical attention after a stroke. This was not a stroke!

I was trying to think of things I did differently that might have spurred this attack. Was it the fact that I started drinking tea? Was it because I wore my socks to bed last night for the first time ever? Both are sure signs of old age, but shouldn’t have triggered an ER visit. Maybe it was because I substituted medicinal hot tea for my usual Diet Cokes yesterday and didn’t have enough caffeine or chemical additives? (See Post #806). Could it have been the meatloaf I made for dinner last night? My wife seems to have survived my cooking, and the dogs sure enjoyed it.

The doctor’s solution was to chew a single Baby Aspirin every day. I had already tried switching from Advil to Aspirin, but it led to chills and unstoppable bleeding after a shaving nick. I also couldn’t fulfill my personal pledge to give blood regularly. My personal doctor felt that if I was having the problems with Advil that others were experiencing it wasn’t critical to change. I did not have any Advil or Aspirin as a bedtime snack last night. I did, however, have a headache after the incident this morning, and complained of a sharp pain in my side. A urine test did not reveal signs of several other trips to the Emergency Room – kidney stones. The only other time that I remember was a hard-hit softball to the family jewels. There’s not enough Advil or Aspirin for that!

I will probably run on the treadmill tomorrow morning to relieve any relapse concerns from my wife. It’s always a last resort, but allowed by USRSA rules. At least on Day 3672, I won’t need assistance getting home and no one will have to risk letting a stranger in their car. The question now remains will an Aspirin a day keep the doctor away? When I called my son to give him a final report on my condition he said, “well at least you got your mile in!”

Retirement is not without Hassles: Game Day #797

January 6, 2019 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

I got up early this morning to take the dogs out and do my daily run. My wife and I were hoping to get to the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry for the King Tut exhibit before it closes later this month. The pups were depressed that their much anticipated “Schnauzerthon” was preempted by rain and cold temperatures. They are often disappointed in the Portland weather at this time of year. They got a shorter walk than normal between rain drops, and we were off to pay homage to the King!

My wife was willing to compromise by leaving for the O.M.S.I. early so that I could watch Bears football and I.U. basketball in the afternoon. What we didn’t know was that it was $2 admission day pricing and the place more like a zoo than a museum. Parking was way out in the overflow lots and ticket lines were outrageous. We had some free passes for the exhibit but still had to redeem them for admission. When we finally got to the front of the line only a few times remained available to see the popular attraction. We elected to get tickets for next week instead rather than endure the long wait and crowded hallways. It also gave us time to go to Cracker Barrel for breakfast with assurance that I would not miss either game. The only problem was that they were both on T.V. at the same time.

I am hoping that the message that the dogs left when I got out of bed this morning did not apply to my teams’ chances. I was greeted with an unprecedented “poopsident” in the living room. I just wasn’t sure which schnauzer was guilty? Normally it’s Tinker the “Poopingest Pup on the Planet,” but she normally goes on the tile kitchen floor. This particular deposit was made on the dining room rug where younger sister Tally typically plays. She in turn has never gone indoors, but this looked suspicious! Perhaps the “Super Pooper” was being clever, trying to pass the blame? Tinker then proceeded to poop four more times once I got them outside, while Tally went only once. This could have been the result of Tink’s voracious appetite yesterday that included an entire raw carrot. She was supposed to share!

Input equals output! We attribute some of Tinker’s food cravings to the steroids that she’s currently taking. However, she was also never one to pass up a snack or meal at any time during her near 15-year lifespan. We adopted her at any early age after she had been abandoned in the woods and apparently forced to eat acorns. I guess after that particular diet everything tastes great? She always finishes her dinner and then immediately looks at Tally’s bowl for dessert. Tally unfortunately likes to savor her food but somehow they both weigh the same.

Game Day has finally started, and I am busy flipping back-and-forth from CBS to NBC to stay up with the action. I’m not overly optimistic with either of these two teams, but I also thrive on pessimism. Why set yourself up for disappointment? It could be the end of the Bears season with a loss today to the Eagles, but I.U. will have a lot of basketball to play before their year is complete. Both teams are down early as I gravely predicted. I just hope that neither team plays like what I found on the floor this morning!

Retirement is not without Hassles: The Home Stretch #787

December 28, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

Today we start our route back home to Portland, beginning in Indianapolis. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were definitely more fun this year with baby Cole providing the entertainment. He was dressed in green-and-white stripped pajamas and a red Santa cap. When I got the pictures of my own granddaughter, Nora, she coincidentally was wearing the exact same outfit. They were celebrating down in Florida, while we all gathered around the 97-year old matron of my wife’s family and 7-month old Cole.

It’s been a memorable week back in Indianapolis, topped off by a visit with my “new” half-sisters down in rural Scipio (pronounced sip-e-oh). (See Post # 786). Yesterday, my wife and I went our separate ways, enjoying lunch dates with each of our group of friends. Then, it was back to my wife’s sister’s house for a pizza dinner and more wine. I could feel the tension of my fateful meeting with the Banisters washing away, replaced with a sense of relief and satisfaction in knowing that I was closer than ever to solving the mysteries of my adoption.

On our exit from Indianapolis this afternoon we’ll include a stop at Freddy’s Frozen Custard for lunch. Steak N’ Shake used to be our Indiana go-to-spot, but they have sadly changed their burger preparation to something less desirable. While we lived in Austin, Texas we discovered Freddy’s that does not yet have a location near our Portland, Oregon home. Freddy’s was particularly kind to our dogs, offering them a custard “pup-cup” that I’m certain they miss. We won’t tell Tinker and Tally where we stopped today. We’ll treat my mother-in-law instead.

The next stop will be Rochester, my wife’s home town as we continue to “Wander Indiana.” We’ll return mom to her assisted-living facility and take down the Christmas decorations that adorn her door. Once she’s comfortable, we’ll drive another hour north to Mishawaka and meet one of my old work friends for dinner at the Main Street Grill, before spending the night at a familiar Courtyard by Marriott. Tomorrow, we’ll visit with my sister and her family in nearby Elkhart, my home town.

My sister’s son and his family is in Disneyworld, near where my son lives. It would be nice to be down there with all of them, but we’ll already be exhausted after this adventure. My nephew’s son Bentley is playing in an All-Star little league game at Disney’s ESPN Wide World of Sports facility. It’s quite an honor for the young fellow, who is apparently quite the pitcher. Thankfully, my niece Kara and her daughter Katie will at least join us for lunch. However, our late parents’ favorite dining spot Michael’s is closed until dinner, and we’ll need to return to Chicago’s O’Hare for our early morning flight home.

Once back at O’Hare’s Renaissance for the night, we’ll have gone full circle on our version of my wife’s Christmas Vacation. So far, everything has gone smoothly, including the mild weather we’ve experienced. Despite the many good memories we’ve created along the way, it’s good to be in the home stretch, looking forward to a Happy New Year!

Retirement is not without Hassles: Lombard Street #783

December 23, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

With plans to be out of town for Christmas, we decided to unwrap our gifts early rather than pack them in our suitcases. One of the traditional gifts for my wife is a Limoges box, dating back to when we first got together 20 years ago. Normally, she has a Christmas display of them, but they’ve been stowed away for a couple of months while some interior painting was being completed in our condo. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago before she finally was able to get the “12 Days of Christmas” porcelain figurines out of storage. This was long after I bought her gifts. As I result, I did not buy a Holiday-oriented box, but rather something for her travel collection.

My wife’s youngest daughter is moving from Washington D.C. to San Francisco in March for a position at Stanford hospital. Everyone is excited about the move, including her Portland-based sister and our aging schnauzer Tinker who developed a special bond with her as a young pup. We’ll be in driving range of her new home, and Tinker may just get to go for a visit.

I thought that it would be appropriate to gift my wife this year an artist’s rendition of Lombard Street, the most famous crooked street in the Bay area. Included in the intricate details is a tiny trolley positioned at the top of the street, affording tourists a view of its twisting curves below. Naturally, I included a poem hidden inside the hinged box:

The Streets of San Francisco

The San Francisco,
Crooked Streets.
Golden Gate views,
And Ghirardelli treats.

We’ve been there,
Together five times.
Twice it’s included,
Tasting Napa wines.

But in the future,
We’ll be there more.
Knocking On,
Miranda’s door.

The Stanford job,
Brings her West.
Closer to her,
Mama’s nest.

Sisters nearer,
Tinker thrilled.
A California.
Dream fulfilled.

Miranda’s moving,
Near The Bay.
But it’s our Limoges,
That’s packed away.

It didn’t appear,
Christmas would come.
So a Santa Limoges,
Seemed rather dumb.

This crooked idea,
Resulted from that.
When you weren’t sure,
Where “12 Days” were at?

Think of your daughter,
Closer next year.
I thought this might bring,
Some Christmas Cheer.

Creature Features: Pet-cation #781

December 22, 2018 / mikeljohnston1 / 0 Comments

The “Schnauzerthon” is about to begin this morning, kicking off a well deserved 9-days of vacation for my wife. It’s too bad we’re not headed for someplace sunny, but rather the wintry Midwest. The dogs get a sitter that will take them on frequent long walks much like we’re going on this morning. Tinker will be snuggled in her Air Buggy, as we take turns pushing the old girl through the neighborhood. Tally, our younger schnauzer, is secure on the leash, twisting herself around to make sure that her sister on wheels is nearby. There were a lot of runners and walkers in the park this morning, but I was the only one pushing a fur baby.

While my wife gets a vacation, I will enjoy a “pet-cation,” a few days away from dog and cat responsibilities. We’ll leave the eye drops, walks, feeding, meds, litter box, and treats to the pet sitter. However, it’s now $80/day plus tips for this service, giving my stay-at-home retirement duties some value. I could put them in a Motel 6 for less than that, but they wouldn’t be happy with the quality of the towels. I will miss the little buggers while we’ve gone, but I can use the break.

Each night of travel is a costly “pet-cation” throughout the year. We realize that we will never be able to afford extended trips as long as they are alive. Tinker is approaching 15 years old, Frankie the cat is 17, and Tally is 8. By the time my wife joins me in retirement four years from now, probably only Tally will still be with us. In the meantime, that’s a lot of grief to suffer. However, freedom from pet care will allow for travel flexibility and maybe even some last-minute deals.

I suppose that the word-blend “pet-cation” could also apply when we take the pups on vacation with us, as we did over Thanksgiving in our travels to Bend, Oregon. However, we still have the same pet care responsibilities and usually end up paying an extra fee to stay in a sub-standard hotel with cheap towels. The dogs do enjoy long rides in the car. At the same time, Frankie the cat gets the whole house to herself, but no one to clean her litter box. This sometimes means that the whole house becomes her litter box. It’s extra work when we come home, perhaps a bit of revenge for leaving her behind.