The Bannister name keeps popping up in movies and books – subtle reminders of who I am. Yesterday, we went to see the movie Reminiscence where the main character played by Hugh Jackman is named Nick Bannister. I also got several birthday wishes from members of the Ban(n)ister family – all discovered via DNA matches. Every birthday brings a flood of questions about my family. I still don’t know the circumstances about what brought Edna and Cecil together to conceive me. I wrote another letter to my half-brother Jerry (See Post #1735) two months ago without a response. Edna is still alive but unfortunately the secret of my conception will soon be buried with her. There will be no one else to go to for answers, as obviously my birth was never discussed with her other children from different fathers. They all continue to deny my existence. 

On the other hand, I have built a good connection with my half-sister, Cecil’s daughter. We send each other birthday cards and silly texts, having met on two occasions. As a birthday bonus this year, I heard from her mother and two other half-sisters, one of whom I’ve yet to meet but lives nearby in Florida. None of them was ever told Cecil’s side of the story. Our DNA matches were a total surprise to all of them, but they seem to have accepted me as part of the family. I’m the brother that they lost too early in life and in some ways a spitting image of their father. I wish I could have similar conversations with my birth mother’s family. 

It’s been 70 years since Edna give birth to me and perhaps even held me in her arms. Adoption proved to be the most beneficial choice she made. I was loved and cared for in ways that she could never have offered. However, I still find it difficult to understand why she ignores my existence. She can’t have forgotten the boy she named Jerry Lee, yet used the name again for her second child. She can’t have forgotten the pain associated with a breech birth, but claims she doesn’t remember me. She’s hit the DELETE button.